So I got pregnant about a year ago and had an abortion in September because I was only 17 and me and my boyfriend felt that was the right choice for us at the time.

But I always think about this decision, and I don't obsess over it, but I do feel very guilty.

Now I'm always telling my boyfriend that we should have a baby soon, and that I really want one. I'm only 18 years old and I know that it'd be better if I waited until I was in my 20s, but then I see and hear about girls my age that had a baby and life for them isn't as hard as I thought it would be.

I dunno...any comments or advice or anything? It's hard to tell if I just want a baby now because of what I did last year, or what. Thanks guys

This is a personal decision that only you can make. My advice is that you should wait, there is plenty of time for you to have a child. Kids are an incredible responsibility, and they need more time and attention than you would initially think. They are a full time, 24 hour a day job.

Have you considered if you would return to work afterwards? If so, could you afford daycare or do you have family nearby that could take care of them. If you don't go back to work could you make it on a single salary? Does your boyfriend feel the same way you do? There are so many questions to ask yourself, and discuss with your bf.

Kids are a joy, but they will change your life forever.

I think the above poster said it beautifully!

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frocher is correct, no doubt.

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I waited until I was married and 22 years old when I had mine.

I wish that I knew then what I know now.

If I could redo it, I would wait until now to have them. I'm 27 now. UGH. I just realized how close that is to 30.

i agree that it is a personal decision, however, imo i think it would be best to have a baby when you and your significant other are at a place & time when you are both ready.

i really wanted to have a baby with my husband so badly ever since i knew my husband was "the one," but he wasn't ready at the moment. i did pressure him but i knew i was wrong to do so, and it only made me feel bad about myself.

however, once he was ready it was such a joyous time to BOTH be excited to try to create a baby from our love. we now have a beautiful 7 month old and no words can describe the level of happiness she has brought us. it is unreal.

sorry to babble but i'm just so happy to be where i am. i was 29 when i got pregnant. you have lots of time sweetie, & when the time is right, you'll have your precious little one, and you'll make a wonderful mommy no doubt!

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thank you! when me and my boyfriend first started our relationship, it's like we were moving fast, but it felt normal. we talked about getting an aprtment later in life, and we talked about having kids during the first few months in our relationship. theres no doubt in my mind that he is "the one" and i do want to wait for the perfect time, but if it happens by surprise...i don't think i will be upset. all of my sisters and brothers have kids (or are having one in the next couple of months) and i know that i will have their support and advice...

thank you everyone for your comments. i will try to make better decisions when it comes to protecting myself for now...

I had my son at a young age. I got pregnant when i was 19 & gave birth when I was 20. Having a baby changes your life in ways you cannot imagine. You're no longer obligated to do what you want, when you want. Decision making gets harder because you need to look out for what's best for the child. If you're ready for a change, then I would say do it!

Having a baby changes everything but being a parent is the best feeling in the world. I don't regret anything about having a baby at a young age. Watching my son grow & seeing him develope his own personality is amazing! I'm sure you'll love being a parent & i'm sure you'll be a great one too!

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i have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. i'm not a "One True Love" believer as much as i believe you find someone and you choose to love them and make it work no matter what crap is there because you want to make them happy and they want to make you happy and you want to be together. we have been through a ton and it was all worth it but it wasn't always easy.

all the people i know who had children early have wished they had waited, some because they wanted/needed more time to sort out their relationships or to get to know their partner, but most have wished they waited so they had more time to get their financial act together.

anyway, reading this thread just made me think of my mom, who passed away from cancer in June of 2006. all she ever wanted for us was for us to become educated, so we could be financially stable and happy. she had us young and really struggled to achieve everything in life, but she sacrificed a lot and she did it. no we didn't have extravagant my super sweet 16's, (maybe this is where my love of high end cosmetics comes from?) but we had everything we needed and more. i know she wanted us never to worry about money, to always feel secure, etc etc. she didn't even want us to take out school loans, she was so sad about that, and i always thought it was so silly- who doesn't have school loans you know? i mean that is the extent of what a parent desires for a child. i know, no doubt, that you will be a great mother one day and that he'll be a great father. i know me and my boyfriend will be great parents, and i think about children now all the time, and i think i can say that i can understand how you are feeling. i just turn my desire into motivation to get my act together, so one day in the near future we can have what we want, what really matters.

i think that you are so gutsy and awesome for having the courage to tell your story (i know, cheesy, but i can't think of other words)
and i just wanted to share my thoughts.

I completly understand how u feel. The same thing happened to me a while ago with my husband but we both came to the decision that this would be a bad time. Whatever you do make sure that you have thought it through and that you want it for the right reasons.

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Like everyone else has said, only you would know if it's the right time or not.

Make sure you weigh all the options.. Are you financially stable? Is your relationship stable?

I had my son young, but I was also married and very stable.

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I'm in the same situation as you're in right now. I had my abortion in June and the decision continues to creep into my head daily. I believe I've made the right decision, but I can't overcome my feelings of guilt and sadness.
Post traumatic abortion stress is common from what I've read on baby message boards. One of the symptoms is wanting to become pregnant right after the procedure. I can list all the reasons I'm not ready for motherhood, but my emotions defies all logical reasoning.
One of the lessons I've learned from my experience is that the answers to life's problems are not black and white. There are gray areas... and I never anticipated it. Anyways, with the urging of my fiancee and close friends, I went to my first counseling session for this, today =). Good to find others that can provide thoughtful advice.

I think you want to have a baby becuase of what you did last year. My suggestion is to wait have fun now that you can because with a child you have someone else to worry about and its nothing small, it is major to have a child to look after to teach him/her things about life and EVERYTHING!!!! You have to feed him, change him wake up at night go to the er for emergencies when hes sick at 1 am and u dont go home until 4 pm the next day it is hard, you dont know if you will have problems with him if hes going to be healthy or what not there are so many things to think about and you are so young. I would wait if I were you. Party have fun , travel do what you want to do. A baby will not let you do the same things you do now, you wont be able to wake up late you cant just leave a baby wondering around the house while your asleep or tired. So many babies are abused, abandoned, burned in microwaves, please think about it. Just my 2 cents.