The Endless Mothers Day Delima ...Help

SkylarV217 · 05-04-2008, 02:17 AM #1 (**permalink**)

Okay so my Man and I have been strained lately mostly because of problems with our families i.e. his mom and sister and It's been hard. We live 2 hours away from both of our families ( that live in the same place) with our son. Every time we come home something happens with one of our families and it a huge mess. So obviously I HATE coming home. So here's the problem. Today he came in here to me ( we were at his mothers house), and said so i was thinking, Kaden and I could come home mother's day for her and motioned to his mom and you could have that weekend off..., or I could just come home and you and Kaden could have the weekend to yourselves.... This really upset me b/c my son's 2 and he's a LOT of work... So if he was there with just me I would constantly be running after him , while if i was alone i would obviously be depressed. And then if I came in .... things would suck.... How should I feel about this and how should I handle it ? I feel like he constantly puts his mother before my needs or feelings.

*Stargazer* · 05-04-2008, 07:12 AM #2 (**permalink**)

Umm. WTF?

Both of those options blow. He should be helping your small child make a nice weekend for you, a MOTHER. Going home to visit HIS mother shouldn't even enter the picture. It sounds like he needs a swift kick in the teeth.

panda0410 · 05-06-2008, 07:00 AM #3 (**permalink**)

erm, tricky spot.... MIL can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, especially if she's the manipulating type. I dont stop hubby from seeing his mum of course and we all get on fairly well, but the needs of our nuclear family are the 1st priority - full stop!! I cant stand divided loyalties and hubby had to learn the hard way to cut those apron strings... I wont play second fiddle to his mother EVER, its simply not an option.
Having said that he still needs to make time for his mum, after all she is his mum and he loves her terribly. So long as he puts mine and our childrens needs first - and he does, then there is rarely a problem.
In some regards I feel there needs to be a compromise and for some men this can be hard, their mothers are usually an integral part of their life. But its vitally important to YOUR immediate family that your hubby puts you first, no man who asks me to stand in anyones shadow is worthy of having, he made a new family with you, and thats where his FIRST loyalties should lie.