Pregnant and ... well, really quite unnerved about it - Page 3

Girl about town · 04-10-2008, 03:14 PM #51 (**permalink**)

Thats great you have your career, people have a habit of making you feel like that to be a good mother you shouldn't have career. I think you will manage better than you think you will.
Im a nurse and my partner a fireman so not particularly well paid but my partner and i and our son have a fairly comfortable existance, and thats in Glasgow, if someone had told me i would be ok financially with a child i wouldn't have believed them at all.Stick it out with the career and hopefully it will get to the point money won't be an issue for you.

Enjoy your pregnancy its the most prescious time of your life and a baby really does make you look at life differently.

lizardprincesa · 04-11-2008, 07:54 PM #52 (**permalink**)

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratmist

Thank you. I sometimes feel a bit like ... I dunno, like I'm some kind of strange woman for not enjoying the pregnancy and not being in love with the idea of having a baby.

You are *not* strange!! Maybe most (or many) women feel the very same way (?) I had a career prior to being a mommy. Even with continuing your scientific career, becoming a mom is a major Life change...

I was pretty terrified when I found out.I didn't know what to feel...I always felt blessed (not in a religious sense, but in a spiritual sense...)
We were trying, but we didn't verbalize it

Pregnancy is not always enjoyable! I found it exciting, but not always comfortable, shall we say? The worst part was probably that I had no family nor real friends in England with me, as I'm not from there...The mid-wives were,in general, fantastic, & were ready to answer even what I thought were the silliest questions, or to ease my tiny-huge anxieties...

Quote:

Sometimes the hormones surge and I get this overwhelming sense of happiness. I'm a scientist though (technically an archaeologist, but I'm on the processual side of the field so that makes me a scientist), and I know that's just a surge of hormones. I try to hold on to the emotion because I want to be happy about this, I want to be excited... but at the moment, I am just terrified I'm going to be a terrible mother.

The hormones were probably the most difficult part for me. I still feel doubts at my maternal state, and Leo's 4. I feel my husband is alot more nurturing. (My husband thinks I'm a great mom

When your child looks into your eyes, you will feel better, trust me...

Don't try to force your feelings. The hormone surges...enjoy the happy feelings they bring. When you're feeling unhappy,
try to find a healthy outlet (like posting here, if it's helped you to feel supported.) You will be fantastic and you will do your *new* job well...You will also find ways to deal with costs, etc...Try not to worry. (I know those words are difficult, in the face of hormones...Try to take it a Day at a Time...or 1/2 a Day...)

My husband and I moved from England to America with a 1.5 yr.-old babe...after the stress of my hubby selling his house, saying good-bye to his parents, etc...Life has been an adventure, but we are ok, a unit of people ( & kitties) who love each other. ~You will be ok.~

Never be afraid to talk to the midwives. They are incredibly compassionate & well-trained. My main midwife actually text-messaged me from her vacation in Italy to say hello!

btw....Congratulations!!

lizardprincesa · 04-11-2008, 08:06 PM #53 (**permalink**)

Quote:

Originally Posted by frocher

Life changes this huge are bound to unnerve you, it sounds like you are keeping your wits about you and thinking this through rationally. I don't mean to sound corny, but all the decisions you made were out of love, so love is what will help you through this. It will be a tough transition, but you are a resourceful woman and I am sure your husband is no slouch either.

You will find a way to provide for yourselves and your child.

As far as being a good mother, the fact you are worried about it is a very good sign imo. Since you love your husband so dearly I can't imagine you would resent a person who is a result of how much you care for him.

Good luck, remember some of the most wonderful things in life are unplanned.

frocher...Your post here is absolutely fantastic. xxxCherylFaith

lizardprincesa · 04-11-2008, 08:51 PM #54 (**permalink**)

Quote:

Originally Posted by glassy girl

This is all normal i still feel terrified if im going to be a horrible mother and my son is 8 years old,

omGoddess You just made me feel so much better! My son is 4 years old.

Quote:

i think thats part of being a great mom is you actully love them so dearly that u want to almost be perfect but thats just part of being a good mom. there will be days when u think man am i the worst mom on the face of the planet then u see ur kids and u see them laugh,smile ect. and u think im doing the best i could do and that alone makes me a good mom. Hang in there u won't be pregnant 4 ever thats the worst part (well 4 me anyways) good wishes.

Oh, you are absolutely adorable How did you read my mind so well? i know you are one amazing mommy! Thanks for adding to this important thread, & for helping people, many other people besides myself, I'm sure! xxCherylFaith

glassy girl · 04-14-2008, 12:27 PM #55 (**permalink**)

Quote:

Originally Posted by lizardprincesa

omGoddess You just made me feel so much better! My son is 4 years old.

Oh, you are absolutely adorable How did you read my mind so well? i know you are one amazing mommy! Thanks for adding to this important thread, & for helping people, many other people besides myself, I'm sure! xxCherylFaith

WOW THANKS I KNOW BECOMING OR BEING A MOM IS SO LIFE CHANGING AND UR NAME SAYS IT ALL FAITH !!

stacylynne · 04-14-2008, 04:00 PM #56 (**permalink**)

I don't have any children (I have dogs, lol)
Of course you feel overwhelmed in this situation. Adding an addition to the family can be very unerving, exciting all at the same time.

If you have your parents or his parents live local to you, maybe you can have them watch the baby 2-3x a week instead of child care.

It seem that you are married, you are both stable in what you want for your life time career.

Of course this can be scary & you're prob. playing bumper cars in your head (pro's & cons).

I'm sure everything will work out & just embrace this blessing in disguise. Everything happens for a reason.

Kalico · 04-26-2008, 05:09 PM #57 (**permalink**)

I'm one of those that don't have children, lol. I just wanted to say... even though I don't know you at all, I think you will be a wonderful mother. Who wouldn't love such a rational, level headed mother such as yourself? You already have an education under your belt even if it is still in the works. It's not the best time to be pregnant but it will all work out for you. There are many mothers who have had worse circumstances and defied all odds and came out on top. You're not doing too shabby.

My mother was never the maternal type either but I think she grew into it. It's different when they're your own. And just think of all the insane things that are happening in your body right now. It's amazing! And then this baby will come as the result of it all. Pretty cool, even if you end up hating being pregnant (which is different than how you will feel about your baby of course).

Congratulations! Try to relax, everything will be wonderful.

You're gonna be an amazing mother.