Macnarsandlove
Well-known member
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- Thread starter Macnarsandlove
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MsCuppyCakes
Well-known member
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I've never been married but I can tell you, you can take care of yourself. You are deserving of someone that is good and kind to you. Do you have somewhere you can go right now until you find a place? It sounds like you want to get out of the same living space as soon as possible. With your bills you can contact the lender/company and try to set up an affordable payment schedule or consolidate all your bills and pay one monthly sum. You have a lot of options. Just know you are going to be okay.
saniyairshad
Well-known member
Rest assured that u are making the right decision and there is nothing bad about thinking about urself for one...remember that life is not always pleasant but I can imagine u must be a wonderful person to have keepon giving him chances over and over. But take it from me and God that I bet He has something better in store for u hon. May God help u through this difficult time and may all your prayers be answered too. Amen!!
giz2000
Well-known member
You are doing the right thing. You need to think about yourself first and foremost right now, so go ahead and be selfish. No one will think any less of you for getting divorced, especially under your circumstances. You will find a lot of support all around you...some people may surprise you!
Another Janice!
Well-known member
God never shuts a door without opening a window.
Never been through a divorce, but know plenty about it. Aside from the emotional aspects, this is also a business turned sour.
I've seen many, many people's credit take a nosedive due to divorce. Make sure you get your ducks in a row there.
Try to consolidate some bills. Try www.prosper.com (I can't say enough great things about Prosper!) Don't overspend to make yourself feel better. You have a huge period of adjustment to go through...don't do anything crazy during this time. Give yourself time to find yourself.
Just take it a single day at a time. It will get better and better.
Never been through a divorce, but know plenty about it. Aside from the emotional aspects, this is also a business turned sour.
I've seen many, many people's credit take a nosedive due to divorce. Make sure you get your ducks in a row there.
Try to consolidate some bills. Try www.prosper.com (I can't say enough great things about Prosper!) Don't overspend to make yourself feel better. You have a huge period of adjustment to go through...don't do anything crazy during this time. Give yourself time to find yourself.
Just take it a single day at a time. It will get better and better.
Shimmer
Well-known member
document everything. Everything. All of it.
Make new accounts and put your money there.
Protect yourself and think about the most vile and evil thing you could do to him to mess his life up, then prepare for him to do that to you.
Divorce sucks, but you're right, it's NOT the end of the world.
Make new accounts and put your money there.
Protect yourself and think about the most vile and evil thing you could do to him to mess his life up, then prepare for him to do that to you.
Divorce sucks, but you're right, it's NOT the end of the world.
enraptured
Active member
It definitely isn't the end of the world. While you do have to go through the not so fun process of divorce, you are doing what is best for you. It's always rough when you start out on your own, but everything will turn out right for you in the end. I agree with the girls above who mentioned consolidating some of your bills - that will help a lot. Try not to feel so down on yourself, hun. Go through the divorce process (responsibly, as Shimmer recommended), and just keep that "light at the end of the tunnel" in mind. You'll make it through just fine, and you'll come out of it a much stronger person. Just think - you'll be able to just "do you", you'll be responsible for your own life, your own things... and you won't have to worry about this jerk ever again.
Stay tough, hun... and keep your chin up.
dmenchi
Well-known member
there is no bad thing that doesn't have a good side....in this case: u might meet somebody that REALLY loves you!!!
trust me i've been thrugh a similar situation and when i realized i could make it on my own ( house,bills,gas ...)this really gave me an ego boost and it changed my life forever because before the whole thing scared me sooo much to be by myself( especially working for minimum wage!!), and now when i look at the whole picture in a crisis situation and i know i can just pack my stuff and live my life happy
PS: you might feel alone, but you really never are ( in tough situation like this friends/family often come out and offer to help, instead of judging you)
please don't cave to your fear, in the long run your better off not waisting more years with a cheater- they never change! (at least not without therapy
trust me i've been thrugh a similar situation and when i realized i could make it on my own ( house,bills,gas ...)this really gave me an ego boost and it changed my life forever because before the whole thing scared me sooo much to be by myself( especially working for minimum wage!!), and now when i look at the whole picture in a crisis situation and i know i can just pack my stuff and live my life happy
PS: you might feel alone, but you really never are ( in tough situation like this friends/family often come out and offer to help, instead of judging you)
please don't cave to your fear, in the long run your better off not waisting more years with a cheater- they never change! (at least not without therapy
IslandGirl77
Well-known member
Have to agree with Shimmer. Go in this open minded, because it might get ugly. My friends parents have been married 30 years and her Dad is being a real punk about everything. It will be over sooner than you know, and you'll probably be better off. I wish you luck and try and stay focused.
kimmy
Well-known member
i've never been divorced, but my parents got a divorce when i was really young and i never stopped hearing about it from either side.
both of my parents have different stories as to why it happened, my mom's story was that my dad was unfaithful...and she told me that if i was ever in a relationship where i suspected infidelity to cut it off as soon as possible, because not knowing is just as bad. my dad's second wife was unfaithful, and he gave me the advice that people who practice infidelity will never change, so he too suggested that if i was ever suspicious, to just leave the situation.
i think shimmer gave some pretty good advice, about documenting everything and opening new accounts. and definately, be prepared for him to do the worst, most devilish things to you. he may not...but it's better to be safe than sorry.
*hugs*
both of my parents have different stories as to why it happened, my mom's story was that my dad was unfaithful...and she told me that if i was ever in a relationship where i suspected infidelity to cut it off as soon as possible, because not knowing is just as bad. my dad's second wife was unfaithful, and he gave me the advice that people who practice infidelity will never change, so he too suggested that if i was ever suspicious, to just leave the situation.
i think shimmer gave some pretty good advice, about documenting everything and opening new accounts. and definately, be prepared for him to do the worst, most devilish things to you. he may not...but it's better to be safe than sorry.
*hugs*
miss holly j
Active member
I don't know how it is to go threw a divorce as part of a couple but I do know how it is to go threw a divorce as a child. Don't let anyone get you down you deserve to be a queen to any guy you get with and he shouldn't need to look at other women, infidelity is inexcusable in my book.
Like everyone has said be prepared that things could get really ugly and their could be some immature things going down.
Keep your head up, it'll all be worth it in the end.
Like everyone has said be prepared that things could get really ugly and their could be some immature things going down.
Keep your head up, it'll all be worth it in the end.
makeupgal
Well-known member
Take it from someone who has been divorced. No matter how much you both agree that you will end it amicably, it WILL GET UGLY!!! As Shimmer said, think of the worse things and that is what he will pull. Also, I honestly believe that once a person cheats on you and you take them back, they will do it again. You can almost bet on it. So, the silver lining on this cloud is, you are about to be rid of a cheater. If 2 people have an open marriage it would be okay, but it sounds like he has made you miserable with his ways. I wish you the best and I am sure things will work out for you.
giz2000
Well-known member
Been there, done that...bought the t-shirt!
I got divorced almost 17 years ago (not due to infidelity, but because my ex was as hardheaded as I am and we clashed). It's not fun, it's not easy, you feel like a failure...but you know what? life goes on, and you deserve to be happy, no matter what your marital status is. Don't settle for anything or anyone.
No one will think any less of you because you are divorced. Hang in there and take really good care of yourself...hugs!
I got divorced almost 17 years ago (not due to infidelity, but because my ex was as hardheaded as I am and we clashed). It's not fun, it's not easy, you feel like a failure...but you know what? life goes on, and you deserve to be happy, no matter what your marital status is. Don't settle for anything or anyone.
No one will think any less of you because you are divorced. Hang in there and take really good care of yourself...hugs!
