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user79
Well-known member
Re: tell the hand!
I think you should give him another chance. He's spending probably a ton of money on his plane ticket and taking such a long journey to see you, so I def think there must be something there, otherwise he wouldn't be making such a big effort.
Yes ok, he kissed another girl, but maybe you can forgive him if it was just a kiss.
The only thing you have to think about is what's going to happen after this vacation. Do you have plans to move, or does he? I've been in a long distance relationship for 4 years before, and it really only works if you have a forseeable date when you know you will def be together, when there is an end to the long distance in sight. Also, you need to be able to see each other regularly, once a year for 2 weeks - might not bve enough. People change and can grow apart...
I think you should give him another chance. He's spending probably a ton of money on his plane ticket and taking such a long journey to see you, so I def think there must be something there, otherwise he wouldn't be making such a big effort.
Yes ok, he kissed another girl, but maybe you can forgive him if it was just a kiss.
The only thing you have to think about is what's going to happen after this vacation. Do you have plans to move, or does he? I've been in a long distance relationship for 4 years before, and it really only works if you have a forseeable date when you know you will def be together, when there is an end to the long distance in sight. Also, you need to be able to see each other regularly, once a year for 2 weeks - might not bve enough. People change and can grow apart...
kobri
Well-known member
Re: tell the hand!
Well it's a tricky situation. Yes he kissed someone else, but he also told you so I think he gets some honesty points too ( I mean you never would have known right?). Being so far away and having conversations about how you will one day have to break up must give him some doubts. I think you should go into this visit with an open mind, see how it is when you two are together all the time. It should help you decide what you want. Long distance relationships are difficult, they require a lot of trust. I wish you both the best of luck, hope it works out for you!
Well it's a tricky situation. Yes he kissed someone else, but he also told you so I think he gets some honesty points too ( I mean you never would have known right?). Being so far away and having conversations about how you will one day have to break up must give him some doubts. I think you should go into this visit with an open mind, see how it is when you two are together all the time. It should help you decide what you want. Long distance relationships are difficult, they require a lot of trust. I wish you both the best of luck, hope it works out for you!
Mizz.Yasmine
Well-known member
Re: tell the hand!
aww i feel bad for u!
i guess u need to be realistic though, are u two ever going to live together? can u really spend the rest of ur life in love with a man miles and miles away?hes not even within driving distance from u.can u deal with all the worrying and the what ifs?if u think u can, then give him the 2nd chance. but if not, maybe u really need to just let him go and try to find a local man. it will hurt like crazy but in the end u'll end up finding a better love who u could be with whenever u needed him.
aww i feel bad for u!
i guess u need to be realistic though, are u two ever going to live together? can u really spend the rest of ur life in love with a man miles and miles away?hes not even within driving distance from u.can u deal with all the worrying and the what ifs?if u think u can, then give him the 2nd chance. but if not, maybe u really need to just let him go and try to find a local man. it will hurt like crazy but in the end u'll end up finding a better love who u could be with whenever u needed him.
NutMeg
Well-known member
Re: tell the hand!
Glad it helped you. It helps me to remember that when I feel like my bf and I have too many strikes against us. I don't have a whole lot of advice, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and hoping things get better. Also, you have to decide if you're going to move ahead or call it quits and put your whole heart into whatever you decide. Its way easier said than done. *hugs*
Glad it helped you. It helps me to remember that when I feel like my bf and I have too many strikes against us. I don't have a whole lot of advice, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and hoping things get better. Also, you have to decide if you're going to move ahead or call it quits and put your whole heart into whatever you decide. Its way easier said than done. *hugs*
seonmi
Well-known member
Re: tell the hand!
I wasn't going to post a reply but reading Mizz.Yasmine's post, I think someone is sharing the same opinion with me.
It's kinda unrealistic to a certain extent IMO. You guys are only 19 and still have a long way to go with education, career, and all that stuff. Being so very far away from each other, never having spent time together before (I'm talking about like people spending time abroad and running into each other, falling in love, that kind of thing if you know what I mean), and being so young, I just don't think there is a big chance of the relationship working. Please, don't be offended because I just want to be frank about what I think is best for you. You two are very young so there are so many options in life for you two.
I'm too in a long distance relationship but to me there is hope for our future. We're both from the same country, same city, had spent time with each other before going far away, and we both are in the U.S. and in the same time zone. We have the same career path that we want to follow.
BUUUUUUT, he already arranged his trip, so you should enjoy the time with him and then consider this while and after he's with you. I wish you the best!
I wasn't going to post a reply but reading Mizz.Yasmine's post, I think someone is sharing the same opinion with me.
It's kinda unrealistic to a certain extent IMO. You guys are only 19 and still have a long way to go with education, career, and all that stuff. Being so very far away from each other, never having spent time together before (I'm talking about like people spending time abroad and running into each other, falling in love, that kind of thing if you know what I mean), and being so young, I just don't think there is a big chance of the relationship working. Please, don't be offended because I just want to be frank about what I think is best for you. You two are very young so there are so many options in life for you two.
I'm too in a long distance relationship but to me there is hope for our future. We're both from the same country, same city, had spent time with each other before going far away, and we both are in the U.S. and in the same time zone. We have the same career path that we want to follow.
BUUUUUUT, he already arranged his trip, so you should enjoy the time with him and then consider this while and after he's with you. I wish you the best!
Mizz.Yasmine
Well-known member
Re: tell the hand!
what if u had a kiss with another man, what do u think he would do?
atleast he told u about it though so that shows hes trying to be honest(hopefully theres nothing else
).maybe it really didn't mean anything to him, and thats why he told u, thinking it wouldn't bother u.
what if u had a kiss with another man, what do u think he would do?
atleast he told u about it though so that shows hes trying to be honest(hopefully theres nothing else
User49
Well-known member
Re: tell the hand!
I was also in a long distance relationship. It was very passionate and in the end it burnt out. We grew apart because of the distance. I was also suffering with anxiety attacks and couldn't handle the feeling that I was alone even though I had someone in a different country. I think that you need to make a decision after you spend time with him when he comes over. I don't think distance make the heart grows fonder. I think people are meant to be together. I now have a lovely boyfriend who I live with and we've been together for three years. I'm much happier and I'm so glad that the past is just that. You have to go with your gut feeling. But I imagine in this situation it's going to be your heart and your head fighting. Also my ex never EVER kissed someone else. The one thing that is holding a long distance relationship together is ... TRUST. And he has broken your trust. So even if you do forgive him, you are going to have some major issues trusting him again. I really hope things work out for you. I know just how hard it is to be in this situation and it's not something that is going to be easy either way! *hugs*
I was also in a long distance relationship. It was very passionate and in the end it burnt out. We grew apart because of the distance. I was also suffering with anxiety attacks and couldn't handle the feeling that I was alone even though I had someone in a different country. I think that you need to make a decision after you spend time with him when he comes over. I don't think distance make the heart grows fonder. I think people are meant to be together. I now have a lovely boyfriend who I live with and we've been together for three years. I'm much happier and I'm so glad that the past is just that. You have to go with your gut feeling. But I imagine in this situation it's going to be your heart and your head fighting. Also my ex never EVER kissed someone else. The one thing that is holding a long distance relationship together is ... TRUST. And he has broken your trust. So even if you do forgive him, you are going to have some major issues trusting him again. I really hope things work out for you. I know just how hard it is to be in this situation and it's not something that is going to be easy either way! *hugs*
NutMeg
Well-known member
Re: tell the hand!
I guess I have it easy in that although he has betrayed my trust before, it wasn't with another girl. I've never had to wonder about other girls, it's just never been an issue for us. I think if he lost my trust in that way this whole thing would become incredibly difficult (or even more so). I'm not saying that your bf isn't trustworthy, but the fact that its on your radar at all makes things harder than they already have to be. Anyway, pm me if you ever need advice or just to rant. I've probably felt the same way so I can listen without judging.
I guess I have it easy in that although he has betrayed my trust before, it wasn't with another girl. I've never had to wonder about other girls, it's just never been an issue for us. I think if he lost my trust in that way this whole thing would become incredibly difficult (or even more so). I'm not saying that your bf isn't trustworthy, but the fact that its on your radar at all makes things harder than they already have to be. Anyway, pm me if you ever need advice or just to rant. I've probably felt the same way so I can listen without judging.
revoltofagirl
Well-known member
Re: tell the hand!
trust takes time to rebuild. even though you've forgiven him and taken him back, it's still going to hurt for awhile and it's going to take a lot of time for it not to bother you so much. I don't think you'll ever forget that it's happened but when enough time has passed, it won't hurt as much and it won't matter as much in the big picture.
you need to try to make him understand that he's broken your trust and ask him to help you build it. he needs to reassure you when you feel insecure and he shouldn't tell you that you're overreacting... that's a perfectly normal reaction to when your bf kisses another girl... especially when you're in a long-distance relationship and unsure of the future.
I've been in quite a few LDRs and it sucks when you and your partner have a different view of the relationship. I've hurt someone because I didn't think we were as serious as he thought we were... and I've been hurt because they decided they'd rather have instant gratification than to wait for my next visit. it seems like you're both on the same page now so hopefully things will progress from there.
I understand you're both young (I'm young too) but that doesn't mean you love him any less. he may not be the guy you end up marrying but it isn't wasting your time if you love him and enjoy the experience of it. we learn as we grow.
trust takes time to rebuild. even though you've forgiven him and taken him back, it's still going to hurt for awhile and it's going to take a lot of time for it not to bother you so much. I don't think you'll ever forget that it's happened but when enough time has passed, it won't hurt as much and it won't matter as much in the big picture.
you need to try to make him understand that he's broken your trust and ask him to help you build it. he needs to reassure you when you feel insecure and he shouldn't tell you that you're overreacting... that's a perfectly normal reaction to when your bf kisses another girl... especially when you're in a long-distance relationship and unsure of the future.
I've been in quite a few LDRs and it sucks when you and your partner have a different view of the relationship. I've hurt someone because I didn't think we were as serious as he thought we were... and I've been hurt because they decided they'd rather have instant gratification than to wait for my next visit. it seems like you're both on the same page now so hopefully things will progress from there.
I understand you're both young (I'm young too) but that doesn't mean you love him any less. he may not be the guy you end up marrying but it isn't wasting your time if you love him and enjoy the experience of it. we learn as we grow.
jasminbarley
Well-known member
Re: tell the hand!
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jasminbarley
Well-known member
Re: tell the hand!
*****
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