=(

[Verient]

Ok...this will probably sound a bit pathetic to some, but I'm honestly just going to type exactly how I feel. So yeah, sorry if I go on a bit.

I'm 15 and I went out with T (he's not actually called that...lets just call him that for the sake of it) about 3-4months back. We were seeing eachother for months and months before going out and it was just...amazing. We both said we didn't want to make it 'official' yet because we didn't want to mess it up. When we were seeing eachother I had never ever been happier in my life. He rung me every day and I went over his most days of the week. We had a great time together and shared similar interests. We went for long walks and would casually 'trip' eachother over in long grass in fields just so we could hug and kiss. It was really romantic. We just spent hours together. He'd tell me he loved me and was totally genuine. When he held my hand he'd stroke my fingers and tell me I was beautiful.. He was so great. Then he asked me out and I honestly don't know why...but for some reason, which I don't remember, I started avoiding him in school. There would be times when I'd sit on the opposite side of the playground to him and we'd exchange funny looks. He'd tell me to meet him at lunch and I'd never go. So then came the arguments. I can see exactly why he was pissed off with me. And whatever reason it was - I should never ever ever have avoided him. A few weeks later we split up. I bawled my eyes out. It's been months since we broke up and things have only got worse. I can see how much of an idiot I was for messing it up. Because although he wasn't perfect, it was ME that messed it up. Every day I see him in school I just melt. I want him so bad. I walk different ways so I can bump into him and I plan my day around him. Not many people like him, so everyone tells me to get over it. I honestly don't believe I can yet. And I don't want to. Because the truth is...I'm 100% absolutely in love with him. And it's tearing me apart. I NEVER stop thinking about him. Ever. Every little thing I see pulls back memories...and I just miss him. I'd do anything - anything at all for another chance. And that's what I want. I need him back...I'm just not sure what to do and it's killing me.

 

[User93]

First off, why did you avoid him? I hope you realise that was odd sweety. Maybe you felt too worried, or unexperinced in this way, or something was bothering you? Cause I think that matters a lot.

All I can say, is that you should tell him all you told us here. Tell him honestly that you feel you messed up, that you miss him, that you wanna be with him. After he could feel "negleced" from your side maybe, I think he would be happy to hear that. It will be ok!

 

[Verient]

I forgot to add that he's like totally moved on.

A while ago he came over my house with his sister to ride. This was the first time in about a month since we broke up that he came over and I was planning to tell him I still loved him. However, he text me on his way to say he was just coming as friends. I was automatically put in a shit mood and was already crying when he arrived so I had to go off. He was texting me being like - why are you being grumpy? cheer up. I like let slip that I needed to tell him something and he kept nagging and nagging and nagging so I eventually took him away and blurted it out. I told him I still liked him and he just said he wished I hadn't said and wanted to be friends. I was gutted.

A few weeks after that we went on a school trip. I sat a few rows infront of him on my own (I left my friends so I could get close to him on the bus). He text me saying that was it wierd that he was staring at me in the window. Then he told me to sit by him and it just went from there. I spent the entire day with him and his best friend. His best friend like walked off for a minute and he turned round and just gave me the nicest longest hug ever and kissed the top of my head. I just melted. Then we were walking round and he was massaging my shoulders really nicely for like half an hour. On the coach back he left his best friend, and they're like inseperable, and sat with me. He held my hand and stroked my fingers. We were also texting eachother at the same time lol. He was saying how he wanted me and I just said, yeah but you don't want me in the way that I want you. He was like...I do, I just need to think about us. Throughout the day he just acted like we were together.

Then after that he's just been totally normal with me. Talks to me but doesn't make much of an effort.

 

[Verient]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alibi First off, why did you avoid him? !

I now remember that it was because we were both being really petty and both thinking that each of us should approach the other.. This went on until I never went upto him and he never went upto me. It was stupid and if I could go back I wouldn't let go of him..

 

[User93]

I think you should give him time. You know, this story about a trip doesnt seem like "friendship" to me, and I'm pretty sure he still has feelings for you. He gotta think about it maybe.

Take his rules of a game. Do you care how its called? Let him say "friendship". Be his "best friend" or whatever. You guys should hang like that, and eventually I think you will start holding hands, holding each other etc. And then kiss

Dont rush it. Dont be sad with him. Spend time with him and every day spent together tell him how much you love being together and how awesome he is. Comfort him. I think it really can be all done if you act wise. Just dont rush kissing, let him "not be able to resist you".

 

[Verient]

I don't want to act too keen though.. I don't think he likes it when I text or call him..

 

[kristina ftw!]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Verient I don't want to act too keen though.. I don't think he likes it when I text or call him..

Isn't this behavior exactly what caused you to lose him in the first place? Why play games?

 

[Verient]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kristina ftw! Isn't this behavior exactly what caused you to lose him in the first place? Why play games?

I'm not...I'm just saying that I don't want to act overkeen and push him away because he might not like me and it'll only make things worse.

 

[kristina ftw!]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Verient I'm not...I'm just saying that I don't want to act overkeen and push him away because he might not like me and it'll only make things worse.

I understand that, but I honestly don't think you'll get anywhere unless you let him know you like him. Because considering what happened last time, he might think you don't. No one likes being hurt or rejected, so he might just be scared that it's going to happen again, you know?

 

[AimeeL]

Ah, to be young

I'm with kristina. It's a waste of your time and his to play games of any kind, and that includes acting standoffish and trying not to seem "keen".

 

[NutMeg]

I wonder if you guys are ready to be in a relationship... I'm not trying to knock on you, but you're still pretty young and it sounds like it didn't work out last time for some pretty immature reasons. Maybe you should just try and be friends for a while. I know it's rough, especially having to deal with crazy emotions that you feel are completely beyond your control, but part of growing up is making a responsible and thought-out decision even when you really don't want to.

 

[kimmy]

if you were avoiding him and you don't know why, maybe that means you weren't ready for what he was asking you for. i'd try talking to him, and tell him what you just said here. there's no point in playing hard to get, because then he just won't try to get you at all.

 

[Verient]

I think I've learnt a lot from my mistake. I just want to add that it wasn't all my fault though... And I don't think I'm too young. I suppose I can tell him...just not sure how to go about it.

 

[Verient]

Haha this is old! We've been together almost 8 months now