shimmyshimmyya
Well-known member
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- Thread starter shimmyshimmyya
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TISH1124
Well-known member
Ahh sweetie 25 is so young...just be patient ...although I know it's hard....But your time for love will come...when the time is right. Don't rush it...Just try to enjoy the life you have now and Mr. Right will show up right on time...I fell in love with so many Mr. Right nows...that I was 36 years old when I finally met the love of my life and I promise you he was so much worth waiting for.
L1LMAMAJ
Well-known member
don't worry girl. 25 is still very young. a lot of people don't get married till much later nowadays. we're not in the olden times like our grandparents (my grandma got married when she was 17). just take your time and find the perfect person. don't rush anything. you have a lot of time ahead of you. try not to stress yourself. =)
gildedangel
Well-known member
You are young and you have gobs of time! I don't want to be pregnant or married or anything like that until I am at least your age! If you want to meet someone put yourself out there, but don't become desparate or change yourself to get a guy. You don't live a life without love, you have a family and friends who love you and who you love back. Try to see the positives in your life, don't dwell on the negatives. There is nothing wrong with not having a serious relationship at this point in your life, so try not to stress out over it. Put yourself out there and try to meet lots of people, the worst thing that will happen is that you will make more friends. The right guy is out there for you, you just haven't found each other yet!
snowflakelashes
Well-known member
Well I'm 30 and never had a relationship , hope that doesn't scare you I've had online relationships though (when I was younger) and I have those kind of emotional well ups especially when I am PMSy. I was feeling that way today and trying to remind myself that I have friends who love me. My best friends boyfriend is coming back after a year away so I'm anxious about that. Just the dynamic will change a little since I won't be over there 24/7 to give them their space to do their thing. But I remind myself that another friends youngest daughter was super excited to see me after I was away for three weeks. And that she asks for us (me and my best friend) all the time. So while I don't have my own family here, I have friends who are almost like family.
Do I wish that I had a family of my own, yes, but I'm trying to accept (trying) that if God wants that for me it will happen. I find it hard sometimes because I've never even had a real date or been actually asked out. (The only time guys have ever approached me is when they've been completely drunk/high and are just looking for a meaningless hookup {which I'm not into}... and even that doesn't happen anymore now that I'm 'old') .
Okay lol sorry I guess this is a me too, I've been feeling that way today. It flares up once in a while but I know its fruitless to dwell on it. We'll snap out of it and get back to our lives soon enough *nods*
Do I wish that I had a family of my own, yes, but I'm trying to accept (trying) that if God wants that for me it will happen. I find it hard sometimes because I've never even had a real date or been actually asked out. (The only time guys have ever approached me is when they've been completely drunk/high and are just looking for a meaningless hookup {which I'm not into}... and even that doesn't happen anymore now that I'm 'old') .
Okay lol sorry I guess this is a me too, I've been feeling that way today. It flares up once in a while but I know its fruitless to dwell on it. We'll snap out of it and get back to our lives soon enough *nods*
BeccalovesMAC
Well-known member
yup 25 is young. You have lots of time. I know its hard when u see all your friends and their families. trust me you are still young. Dont cry over it and keep your head up
BeccalovesMAC
Well-known member
Ps
My girlfriend is 35 and has never been married or had any kids. She looks like she is 22 years old. Men cause wrinkles.
My girlfriend is 35 and has never been married or had any kids. She looks like she is 22 years old. Men cause wrinkles.
romi79_2008
Well-known member
Don`t look for love, it will put so much pressure on you and you`ll be unhappy. Love happens without notice, unexpected, just free your mind and live your life as it is now. It always come when you look the other way
snowflakelashes
Well-known member
^^ Being single does have its advantages, like there is no one to complain about the fact that I spent all my fun money on makeup and cosmetics. (4 trips to sephora and 4 trips to mac in a less than 3 week period lol
) I would trade that though for someone who could give me a really great hug, and just for five seconds out of my day could make me feel like maybe everything would be allright. But I know thats a lot to ask... and that 10 zillion headaches and fights come along with the good parts. I still think as crazy as that sounds it might be worth it... lol
miss sha
Well-known member
Oh, I'm 21 but I know EXACTLY how you feel. People always give the sorts of advice that's being said here but it friggin' blows when all of your friends are gushing about their long-term relationships and you haven't been with a guy any longer than a month, or when they're all gushing about some guy they'd been chatting up and you have zero action of your own to share. Yeah, love might not be the end-all and be-all of life but you covet what you don't have, right? Especially when it's being rubbed in your face.
25/21 is still young, yeah, but not when all of your friends have had relationships since high school. Then you're thinking what's wrong with you that you're the only one who hasn't. It sucks and I definitely sympathize, but unfortunately I can't offer any advice. Just hang in there, I guess.
25/21 is still young, yeah, but not when all of your friends have had relationships since high school. Then you're thinking what's wrong with you that you're the only one who hasn't. It sucks and I definitely sympathize, but unfortunately I can't offer any advice. Just hang in there, I guess.
malaviKat
Well-known member
I find people often want the opposite of what they have... when they're single, they long to be in a relationship, when they're in a relationship, they long to be free... You aren't alone in any of this.
It is perfectly natural to want to be in love and to want love in your life. Companionship (in whatever capacity), and the desire to have it, is what makes us human.
That said, you should never feel as though you're being "left behind". If you find that the people in your life have alienated you because you aren't in a relationship...screw them! What sort of friends would abandon you just because you aren't married or don't have kids?
The difficulty in this situation, I will admit, is finding opportunities to meet new people. If the only friends you have are already paired off, you'll need to actively work to meet people with whom you can engage in (romantic) relationships. I don't think you should drastically change who you are to meet a guy, but at the same time, you may need to step outside your comfort zone a bit.
25 may, at one point, have been a milestone age by which to get married/have a family but to be honest nobody really adheres to that anymore. I'm 27 - none of my friends are married, none are engaged. Some are in relationships, some not, but at the end of the day all of us have spent time defining ourselves as individuals and now that's something that no one can take from us.
Be happy about who you are. Be confident. Be proud. Guys find that very attractive. Before you know it, you too will be arguing about toilet seats and I'll try not to say "I warned you!"
That said, you should never feel as though you're being "left behind". If you find that the people in your life have alienated you because you aren't in a relationship...screw them! What sort of friends would abandon you just because you aren't married or don't have kids?
The difficulty in this situation, I will admit, is finding opportunities to meet new people. If the only friends you have are already paired off, you'll need to actively work to meet people with whom you can engage in (romantic) relationships. I don't think you should drastically change who you are to meet a guy, but at the same time, you may need to step outside your comfort zone a bit.
25 may, at one point, have been a milestone age by which to get married/have a family but to be honest nobody really adheres to that anymore. I'm 27 - none of my friends are married, none are engaged. Some are in relationships, some not, but at the end of the day all of us have spent time defining ourselves as individuals and now that's something that no one can take from us.
Be happy about who you are. Be confident. Be proud. Guys find that very attractive. Before you know it, you too will be arguing about toilet seats and I'll try not to say "I warned you!"
cazgh
Well-known member
Aw sweetie!! Don't worry about it yet. I got stuck in a really bad relationship which robbed me of 10 years of my life - you are MUCH better off being single than being in a non happy relationship.
The downside was that when I finally broke free I was really short for time at 29 and a bit panicky about the whole dating/meeting people. I struggled for a bit but then fell into dating a really lovely man at work who became my husband in March this year.
I guess I had to change the person I thought was my ideal person and instead of going for the bad boys find a nice guy - and the nice guy rocks my world every day
Don't rush into anything and enjoy the time that you have now to live your life the way you want to - the right man will come along when the timing is right so until then just have a lot of fun...
The downside was that when I finally broke free I was really short for time at 29 and a bit panicky about the whole dating/meeting people. I struggled for a bit but then fell into dating a really lovely man at work who became my husband in March this year.
I guess I had to change the person I thought was my ideal person and instead of going for the bad boys find a nice guy - and the nice guy rocks my world every day
Don't rush into anything and enjoy the time that you have now to live your life the way you want to - the right man will come along when the timing is right so until then just have a lot of fun...
shimmyshimmyya
Well-known member
I don't know...I've felt this way for a very long time. I hate being single and want to be in a serious relationship. That's all I want.
Being single is the source of my unhappiness...I just want some love in my life.
I'm trying to date, but I hate this "game" that everyone tries to play. I'm a very genuine and honest person and I don't believe in leading people on or stringing people along. I want to cut thru all the BS and get to the right person.
It seems like everyone is moving forward and I'm just...stuck dwelling on the past and uncertain about the future.
Being single is the source of my unhappiness...I just want some love in my life.
I'm trying to date, but I hate this "game" that everyone tries to play. I'm a very genuine and honest person and I don't believe in leading people on or stringing people along. I want to cut thru all the BS and get to the right person.
It seems like everyone is moving forward and I'm just...stuck dwelling on the past and uncertain about the future.
ashley8119
Well-known member
I know exactly what you mean. I'm 19 and I feel the same way. For my age, I have seen a lot of what's out there already. I was somewhat of a serial dater until I found somebody I thought I was meant to spend my life with. Unfortunately, he relapsed into his drug addiction and threw me out without a second thought. And it's not like there is any hope for getting back with him because he called me some horrible names and said some very cruel things to me about two months ago. I know he was high out of his mind, but still, knowing that those words left his lips...I could never be 'okay' with the thought of getting together again if he gets clean again in the future. Anyway, back to the topic...I know how frustrating it is, people laugh at me when I say I'm ready for the 'right one', and they always say that I have a long way to go until I find the right one. So please try to hang in there! Feel free to PM me about this, we can share stories and rant together! lol
BeccalovesMAC
Well-known member
^^ Reesha you are fucken gawjus... you will meet someone soon.
lilMAClady
Well-known member
Don't look at everyone else and compare yourself. Everyone is different, and I guarantee you their lives aren't as they seem. Be pateient. Don't MAKE love happen, LET it happen. It will when you least expect it. Focus on yourself, and love YOU. Be HAPPY. Have JOY. Once you feel fulfilled things will begin to happen. And fyi I'm 25 too. I see everyone married and having families and moving on through life and frankly want no part of it. I want to enjoy MYSELF and MY life. When the rest happens it happens. I think alot of people create their own problems by putting time restraints on life. Don't do that. You'll be happeier and feel lighter if you don't. So hop to it! Do what you love and BE who you love. Ya dig?
mochabean
Well-known member
Like everyone else has said, 25 is still very young. A lot of people grow up at different times. Everyone is different. But I kind of feel exactly like you do, too!
I just turned 29 this year (and I feel OLD! LOL! even though I know I'm still young). EVERY SINGLE one of my friends is married and has kids. I've dated and had boyfriends in the past. But I've never really been in love. I thought I was in love with my past relationship, but it was just an infatuation. Especially coming from an Asian background where most of my family/cousins all married young. I just recently visited the Philippines and (I kid you not) every single one of my relatives thought I was "weird" or there was something wrong with me b/c I wasn't married already. The average age to marry there is like 17 or 18 yrs old. At 29, they consider me very much a spinster! LOL! It was kind of funny trying to see all of my relatives try to fix me up with people. I swear, I thought they were gonna negotiate an arranged marriage for me! LOL!
I'm the odd one out--single, no kids, unattached. I'm also very shy, and an introvert at heart. So it has always been hard for me to date. Having the single life has its perks and benefits--don't have to check in with anyone, buy whatever I want, and can do whatever I want. But I do miss having a boyfriend/companion.
I really do think there is this stigma about being single. Yes, more and more people this day and age do get married much later in life. But for me, being single, if I wanna go eat at a fancy restaurant or go to the movies (for example), I still get funny looks when I go by myself. It always used to bother me when someone would say "Oh you're by yourself?" when I would go out. But I've gotten used to it and it no longer bothers me what people think.
It's funny....right now, my brother just had a baby 2 weeks ago. I've been playing up my "Auntie" duties and babysitting every other weekend. And I NEVER ever thought I would feel this way....but now that I've been taking care of my nephew, I wanna have a baby now. I can feel my biological clock ticking! It really scares me too, b/c I don't wanna be 35 or 40 and still be single. But then again, I don't wanna be a single mom. It's a scary feeling.
I do date, but nothing serious. I've decided that love and "The One" will come when it comes; I cannot control my destiny. And if I'm gonna be single for a long time, I'm OKAY with that. I'm happy with my life right now, aside from feeling "lonely" at times, but I have my family and friends who are my support system. I have a great paying job and feel so much more lucky than a lot of people I know in this economy.
But yah, it's a drag being single....especially on those Friday/Saturday nights when you wanna go out and have a "date night" but don't have anyone to go out with. Picking up guys at bars or clubs is a no-no for me. So hopefully "The One" for me will come sooner or later! I have my wishful thinking it'll happen eventually. But yah, I know what you mean.....welcome to the "Single Girls Club!" There's nothing wrong with that at any age!
I just turned 29 this year (and I feel OLD! LOL! even though I know I'm still young). EVERY SINGLE one of my friends is married and has kids. I've dated and had boyfriends in the past. But I've never really been in love. I thought I was in love with my past relationship, but it was just an infatuation. Especially coming from an Asian background where most of my family/cousins all married young. I just recently visited the Philippines and (I kid you not) every single one of my relatives thought I was "weird" or there was something wrong with me b/c I wasn't married already. The average age to marry there is like 17 or 18 yrs old. At 29, they consider me very much a spinster! LOL! It was kind of funny trying to see all of my relatives try to fix me up with people. I swear, I thought they were gonna negotiate an arranged marriage for me! LOL!
I'm the odd one out--single, no kids, unattached. I'm also very shy, and an introvert at heart. So it has always been hard for me to date. Having the single life has its perks and benefits--don't have to check in with anyone, buy whatever I want, and can do whatever I want. But I do miss having a boyfriend/companion.
I really do think there is this stigma about being single. Yes, more and more people this day and age do get married much later in life. But for me, being single, if I wanna go eat at a fancy restaurant or go to the movies (for example), I still get funny looks when I go by myself. It always used to bother me when someone would say "Oh you're by yourself?" when I would go out. But I've gotten used to it and it no longer bothers me what people think.
It's funny....right now, my brother just had a baby 2 weeks ago. I've been playing up my "Auntie" duties and babysitting every other weekend. And I NEVER ever thought I would feel this way....but now that I've been taking care of my nephew, I wanna have a baby now. I can feel my biological clock ticking! It really scares me too, b/c I don't wanna be 35 or 40 and still be single. But then again, I don't wanna be a single mom. It's a scary feeling.
I do date, but nothing serious. I've decided that love and "The One" will come when it comes; I cannot control my destiny. And if I'm gonna be single for a long time, I'm OKAY with that. I'm happy with my life right now, aside from feeling "lonely" at times, but I have my family and friends who are my support system. I have a great paying job and feel so much more lucky than a lot of people I know in this economy.
But yah, it's a drag being single....especially on those Friday/Saturday nights when you wanna go out and have a "date night" but don't have anyone to go out with. Picking up guys at bars or clubs is a no-no for me. So hopefully "The One" for me will come sooner or later! I have my wishful thinking it'll happen eventually. But yah, I know what you mean.....welcome to the "Single Girls Club!" There's nothing wrong with that at any age!
iadoremac
Well-known member
Quote:
I understand what you are going through and yes it is easy to feel left behind but dont. Experience has taught me that just because friends are in relationships and they seem happy does not mean they really are. I used to envy a friend of mine who was in a steady relationship for 3 yrs and her bf was saying they should get married, she caught another woman in his bed the day after they went shopping for rings, and trust me when i say that bit is the best part of the story when she told me all that happened it got me thinking that my relationship issues or rather my lack of a relationship is not worth complaining about and she would have been better off being single those 3 yrs than being in a relationship with him.
Now if you are feeling lonely then thats another problem all together but yours will come as long as you stay positive. But it is a bad idea to look at what other people have and compare it to yours. if you do not think that there is no genuine reason why a guy shouldnt want to be with you then dont worry about it. things have a way of sorting themselves out
Originally Posted by shimmyshimmyya
I woke up in a strange mood today and couldn't place my finger on why. I got in my car to drive to work and rode most of the way in silence. A lot of crazy, mixed up thoughts were going thru my head and suddenly I couldn't stop crying... I am unhappy with the way my life (especially my love life) is going. I'm always the chronically single person and now it's starting to really hit me since 98% of my friends are either in a serious relationship, engaged, pregnant or already married. I have none of these things and I don't know when I will. And it frightens me to the core. Seems like everything is happening for everyone except me. I'm 25, never been in love, don't know what it feels like but know that is something I really want. I don't want to be 35, 40 waiting for these things to happen. This is all I really want in life. If I have to live life without love, or being able to give my love to someone, then it's not worth living (figuratively, not literally). I don't know what to do... |
I understand what you are going through and yes it is easy to feel left behind but dont. Experience has taught me that just because friends are in relationships and they seem happy does not mean they really are. I used to envy a friend of mine who was in a steady relationship for 3 yrs and her bf was saying they should get married, she caught another woman in his bed the day after they went shopping for rings, and trust me when i say that bit is the best part of the story when she told me all that happened it got me thinking that my relationship issues or rather my lack of a relationship is not worth complaining about and she would have been better off being single those 3 yrs than being in a relationship with him.
Now if you are feeling lonely then thats another problem all together but yours will come as long as you stay positive. But it is a bad idea to look at what other people have and compare it to yours. if you do not think that there is no genuine reason why a guy shouldnt want to be with you then dont worry about it. things have a way of sorting themselves out
