shimmyshimmyya
Well-known member
.:.
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- Thread starter shimmyshimmyya
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Simply Elegant
Well-known member
I think seeing each other is when it's ok to date other people. In the beginning before you talk about committment. I don't think you must tell the other person but I think it's still the right thing to do. Dating to me is anytime after you've made that committment. I know I'd be upset if I were you and he was seeing other people, mostly because he said he wasn't.
gildedangel
Well-known member
If he has lied to you then you should be upset. I hope that he hasn't though, it sounds like you are quite fond of him.
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
Yeah, you'd have every right to be upset, that would be a bold face lie. Are you two intimate? LOL. Sorry, nosey! But yeah, the meaning of dating is to get to know one another better, have him court you, enjoy each others company, etc...no actual commitment. At some point though one of you will have to bring up exclusivity...if you two are really interested in one another. If he doesn't after it's been a few months and you really like him but you don't see it being close to a stable relationship (even though it may "feel" like one it isn't one until you two have made it clear you're b/f-g/f, don't ever assume you two are exclusive) then I'd bring it up as to not waste my time w/ him, but it's only been 2 months, don't scare him off just yet lol. Maybe in a month! 
When I was just dating someone he made it clear that he was not pursuing anyone else and I made it clear to him that I wasn't either; then he asked me to be his g/f (so elementary school..but it's vital lol). Too bad it did not work out though ha. We were focused on one another when dating. It makes things easier that way. I'm pretty bad at juggling more than one man anyhow. Go with your gut feeling. Good luck!
When I was just dating someone he made it clear that he was not pursuing anyone else and I made it clear to him that I wasn't either; then he asked me to be his g/f (so elementary school..but it's vital lol). Too bad it did not work out though ha. We were focused on one another when dating. It makes things easier that way. I'm pretty bad at juggling more than one man anyhow. Go with your gut feeling. Good luck!
smellyocheese
Well-known member
Perhaps you should talk to him and ask if he'd like to transcend to a monogamous relationship. At least make it clear and if he agrees to it then just forget about that gut feeling and continue the relationship. If after both of you have agreed to a monogamous relationship and you're still suspecting that he's seeing someone else, confront him if it makes you feel any better.
shimmyshimmyya
Well-known member
Another thing that has been bothering me lately is that in the begining when we would talk or text each other, we'd say "hey boo" or "hey babe", but now when I text him, he texts me back with "hey u". WTF?
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
Quote:
Yeah, that would worry me a little. I only say "hey you" to someone I don't have feelings for, like a friend. I use pet names like "hun" or boo when I'm dating someone and if he were to stop I would wonder. Little things like that are big signs but it could also mean absolutely nothing. You can do two things. You can either sit down w/ him and have the talk about being exclusive...simply say something like this: “I can’t keep seeing you unless I know I am the only one you’re seeing,” OR “I really like you (name) and want to be exclusive with you. I hope you feel the same way.” Nothing is wrong with knowing. You clearly really like him, don't be afraid to bring this up now rather than later as I had suggested because he is giving you this suspicious feeling too early on so might as well let him know now. You two are adults, he should understand.
OR how about you do this...?
Do not call him, text, email, send a bird to deliver any letters, no letter in a bottle, no communication whatsoever! STOP. If he calls you then that shows that he is interested in you and that you were not the only one initiating the calls. I said calls because texting is not intimate enough for me, imo. I like a man to actually pick up the phone and call me...shows that he likes to hear my voice and misses you. A text all the time is effortless and lazy. Anyway, give the 'relationship' a break for now. He seems to be slacking off. Not good. But also it's good to listen to your instincts but you also do not want to get paranoid. Anyway, when communication has ceased he'll wonder where you are and you'll start seeing or better yet hearing "where are you boo?"
Act nonchalant and like everything is cool. Good luck!
Originally Posted by shimmyshimmyya
Another thing that has been bothering me lately is that in the begining when we would talk or text each other, we'd say "hey boo" or "hey babe", but now when I text him, he texts me back with "hey u". WTF? |
Yeah, that would worry me a little. I only say "hey you" to someone I don't have feelings for, like a friend. I use pet names like "hun" or boo when I'm dating someone and if he were to stop I would wonder. Little things like that are big signs but it could also mean absolutely nothing. You can do two things. You can either sit down w/ him and have the talk about being exclusive...simply say something like this: “I can’t keep seeing you unless I know I am the only one you’re seeing,” OR “I really like you (name) and want to be exclusive with you. I hope you feel the same way.” Nothing is wrong with knowing. You clearly really like him, don't be afraid to bring this up now rather than later as I had suggested because he is giving you this suspicious feeling too early on so might as well let him know now. You two are adults, he should understand.
OR how about you do this...?
Do not call him, text, email, send a bird to deliver any letters, no letter in a bottle, no communication whatsoever! STOP. If he calls you then that shows that he is interested in you and that you were not the only one initiating the calls. I said calls because texting is not intimate enough for me, imo. I like a man to actually pick up the phone and call me...shows that he likes to hear my voice and misses you. A text all the time is effortless and lazy. Anyway, give the 'relationship' a break for now. He seems to be slacking off. Not good. But also it's good to listen to your instincts but you also do not want to get paranoid. Anyway, when communication has ceased he'll wonder where you are and you'll start seeing or better yet hearing "where are you boo?"
BeccalovesMAC
Well-known member
Follow ur gut! Men are pretty predictable. It sounds like he's straight lying to you. I agree with LoveMAkeup4real. Cut communication with him. But I would cut text messages too. Some people think text messages are like phone calls. I personally don't but we live in different world now it seems. Don't make him priority if you are only one of his options.
Meisje
Well-known member
I would recommend talking to him and asking him the question before cutting communication. One of men's biggest pet peeves about women is inexplicable behaviour and you cutting him off without him knowing why is probably going to seem like gameplaying to him.
It's always better to communicate directly and frankly with your partner. If his answer is not what you want to hear, THEN cut off contact. But at least give him a chance to speak his piece before making any decisions --- you'd want to be given the same courtesy. Imagine how pissed you'd be if some guy stopped calling you without giving you a reason.
It's always better to communicate directly and frankly with your partner. If his answer is not what you want to hear, THEN cut off contact. But at least give him a chance to speak his piece before making any decisions --- you'd want to be given the same courtesy. Imagine how pissed you'd be if some guy stopped calling you without giving you a reason.
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
She of course knows this man better than we do, that's why I gave 2 options, either sit face-to-face and talk to him about where things are headed OR cut communication. Only the OP knows if she has brought up exclusivity to him before or not...and if she did and his response was not what she wanted this is where option 2 comes into play (cease communication).
BUT if you did not yet have this talk with him about exclusiveness and only going on a gut feeling and pure assumptions then you need to communicate w/ him; as the above poster said give him a fair chance. But the two options depend on what has or haven't already happened that we do not know about; only you do. Hope this makes sense. Take care.
BUT if you did not yet have this talk with him about exclusiveness and only going on a gut feeling and pure assumptions then you need to communicate w/ him; as the above poster said give him a fair chance. But the two options depend on what has or haven't already happened that we do not know about; only you do. Hope this makes sense. Take care.
wow... i'm so pleased that dating in the uk is less complicated! we us you're either a couple or not! after a couple of dates it's kinda like 'so we're going out now?' .... ' yep' and bam you're a couple!
honestly i wopuld be upset if he was dating somebody else even though he told you he wasn't. but maybe it's time to sit down and ask if you should be exclusive and commit more?
honestly i wopuld be upset if he was dating somebody else even though he told you he wasn't. but maybe it's time to sit down and ask if you should be exclusive and commit more?
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
Quote:
*packs suitcases* I'm moving to the UK!
But I agree, some things are better left uncomplicated.
| Originally Posted by LMD84
wow... i'm so pleased that dating in the uk is less complicated! we us you're either a couple or not! after a couple of dates it's kinda like 'so we're going out now?' .... ' yep' and bam you're a couple! honestly i wopuld be upset if he was dating somebody else even though he told you he wasn't. but maybe it's time to sit down and ask if you should be exclusive and commit more? |
*packs suitcases* I'm moving to the UK!
Strawberrymold
Well-known member
Granted, it has been 5 years since I have had to, but... In my opinion "dating" means just one person. I always expect that both parties should be up front from the second date. There are to many STD's floating around to not clear things up from the get go. If a guy wasn't willing to focus his attention on me for a few weeks to decide if things were gonna work out, he wasn't worth my time anyways. I always found it better to just me upfront and lay out the real deal before anything got started, less weird in my opinion.
shimmyshimmyya
Well-known member
As each day passes, I'm becoming more discontent with this situation. Not too long ago, he told me he was scared that he was going to fall for me. At that time, I thought it was cute and I told him I be a good one to fall for. But now I'm I'm irritated...
Why would falling for me be a bad thing?
He said he wanted to be in love and a girlfriend. I know I have to talk to him about this but this is starting to bother me. I havent been a serious relationship in three years and I'm over the nonsense...
What do yall think?
Why would falling for me be a bad thing?
He said he wanted to be in love and a girlfriend. I know I have to talk to him about this but this is starting to bother me. I havent been a serious relationship in three years and I'm over the nonsense...
What do yall think?
smellyocheese
Well-known member
Quote:
If he's already showing signs of losing interest, I think it's time for you to move on. Talk to him! Ask him if he wants to get serious or not and if there's any sort of future in store. If he's not sure of both his feelings for you and the relationship, end things with him and move on with your life. There's really no point hanging about with someone who doesn't want to move forward. I guess the issue is not so much if he's seeing someone else anymore.
| Originally Posted by shimmyshimmyya
As each day passes, I'm becoming more discontent with this situation. Not too long ago, he told me he was scared that he was going to fall for me. At that time, I thought it was cute and I told him I be a good one to fall for. But now I'm I'm irritated... Why would falling for me be a bad thing? He said he wanted to be in love and a girlfriend. I know I have to talk to him about this but this is starting to bother me. I havent been a serious relationship in three years and I'm over the nonsense... What do yall think? |
If he's already showing signs of losing interest, I think it's time for you to move on. Talk to him! Ask him if he wants to get serious or not and if there's any sort of future in store. If he's not sure of both his feelings for you and the relationship, end things with him and move on with your life. There's really no point hanging about with someone who doesn't want to move forward. I guess the issue is not so much if he's seeing someone else anymore.
banana1234
Well-known member
sounds like trouble! even if u get him to commit and be serious with you, sounds like he could be unpredictable and just run off with the next girl that comes along, save yourself the heart break and move on!! you'll only be more upset later
confront him, but if u decide to give him the chance, be careful
ps sorry to be negetive, hopfully it will turn out great for you
oh and good luck
xx
confront him, but if u decide to give him the chance, be careful
ps sorry to be negetive, hopfully it will turn out great for you
oh and good luck
