shimmyshimmyya
Well-known member
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- Thread starter shimmyshimmyya
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Mac2Perfection
Well-known member
Honestly I don't know the situation, but I would leave it alone. If that was me in the same situation, I wouldn't want my feelings toyed with. I would let him know how I feel and not in the bed or after we had sex either..make sure to set it in stone on how you feel. Also, you wouldn't want to be ending up sex buddies with this person and than what happens when you have been doing it for awhile and he finds someone else or you find someone, you don't want problems..especially jealously issues or if you meet someone new. You know people who are looking for serious relationships, and you come clean about your past, there will probably be trust issues.
Trust me girl, they're more people out in the world than just being a bed buddy.
Trust me girl, they're more people out in the world than just being a bed buddy.
abbyquack
Well-known member
I dunno, I'd probably just not contact him, and if he decides to contact you, kindly put him down. Don't blame him for anything, just tell him you're not compatible and leave it at that. He may try to talk you out if it, but stand your ground. If he really wants to be with you, he will demonstrate his desire to be with you by his actions, not by his words. But it comes down to the fact that every person deserves to truly love and be truly loved- friends w/ benefits is not fair to you, not if it's not what you want. You deserve the world, girl! Good luck, and hang in there
Simply Elegant
Well-known member
I'd just tell him so it's certain and you can move on.
obscuria
Well-known member
I think if you don't say anything at all, you'll just waste time brewing over it. I think the best way to go about this is to let him know that it is over as soon as possible and then move on.
I've had arguments in the past like this and for me the worst part is not knowing where the other person stands. I spent a lot of that time overanalyzing things and wondering why the other person hadn't called yet, what it could possibly mean, etc... It's unneeded stress really.
I've had arguments in the past like this and for me the worst part is not knowing where the other person stands. I spent a lot of that time overanalyzing things and wondering why the other person hadn't called yet, what it could possibly mean, etc... It's unneeded stress really.
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
Glad you took my advice from the last post you made about him....I said do NOT call or text him, happy you did that, now it's time for you to do something else...completely ignore him! You now have the answer you wanted....it took him days to reach out...so he clearly isn't serious about you at all! He is playing games with you. Toying with your emotions. Putting you last. He only left a text message to you after a couple of days saying "hey"...WTF? That's rude. How does he even know you're alive. He could care less. For whatever reason he has placed you in the 'only sex' category. Honestly the reasons do not matter, what matters now is that you think of yourself and only yourself. I know it hurts but you'll be alright. Women always wants to cry wolf after all has been said and done, not all women but some. Remember we have instincts for a reason, I'm sure you knew something was off but decided to lay down with him anyway...all that is in the past now though. I know you've fallen for him but you have to fall for yourself first. You've already brought up the issue to him about being bed buddies and he didn't care to change the circumstance. It's too late. Reevaluate the situation and realize that it's not healhy for you. Just leave it alone and move on with your life. If he contacts you again do not respond. I know you'll feel tempted to say hi or even confront him but don't. Just ignore him. Make him invisible to you now. Sex isn't going to make him change his mind. Forget him. Good luck!
foxxylatina07
Well-known member
Wow this guy reminds me of a guy I know. Who was pretending to be my friend and was trying to persue a relationship or a fling with me even though he knew Im married with a child. In the beginning he would call me, text me and IM me non-stop. I only wanted friendship of course. Yea he was sexy and all but mind you Im 26 and he's 21 so if I would've been single it wouldnt have worked out (let's just say he's very immature.) Anyway this guy knew my situation and yet still flirted with me. Now he has decided to change because since he saw that he didnt get his way with me. He has decided not to like me anymore so he doesnt look for me. Go figure.
Anyway this guy is a immature jerk who was (to be blunt) using you as his fucking buddy. He didn't want anything out of it just sex. I suggest you move on because he's just gonna wind up hurting you more. Like Greg Behrendt says, "He's just not that into you." If he were he would make the time and effort for you. If he can't appreciate you then fuck him you deserve better. I've been in this situation before long before I met my husband and trust me it hurts a lot to know that you really like him and he doesnt feel the same.
Watch Karma will come back to him in the worst way and he's gonna get his heart broken like he did to you. I wish you luck.
Anyway this guy is a immature jerk who was (to be blunt) using you as his fucking buddy. He didn't want anything out of it just sex. I suggest you move on because he's just gonna wind up hurting you more. Like Greg Behrendt says, "He's just not that into you." If he were he would make the time and effort for you. If he can't appreciate you then fuck him you deserve better. I've been in this situation before long before I met my husband and trust me it hurts a lot to know that you really like him and he doesnt feel the same.
Watch Karma will come back to him in the worst way and he's gonna get his heart broken like he did to you. I wish you luck.
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
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Yaay! I love when girls stop accepting crap. Nice move! Just remember though, since you've put your foot down and ended it w/ him it's basically too late to turn back, you'll only look silly to him, so don't try to make him play tag and have him chase you b/c you'll start this vicious cycle again. Ok let me shut up. Anyway, if he gets in touch do not bother to get back, you're done. On to new and better things. I have recently made this move myself, I know great things are in store for us. Stay strong. Take care!
Originally Posted by shimmyshimmyya
Well, I left a message on his voicemail basically stating that I was at a point where we should just be friends because this thing isn't working for me. I needed to get it out and I don't care what he thinks, but I feel better and he knows where I stand. So on to the next!
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Yaay! I love when girls stop accepting crap. Nice move! Just remember though, since you've put your foot down and ended it w/ him it's basically too late to turn back, you'll only look silly to him, so don't try to make him play tag and have him chase you b/c you'll start this vicious cycle again. Ok let me shut up. Anyway, if he gets in touch do not bother to get back, you're done. On to new and better things. I have recently made this move myself, I know great things are in store for us. Stay strong. Take care!
Curly1908
Well-known member
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If he wasn't your boyfriend then you two had no commitment to each other prior to you having sex with him. If you want a man to take you seriously, then you're going to have to hold YOURSELF to a higher standard. That way he'll consider you girlfriend/wife-material rather than only f*ck-buddy material.
| Originally Posted by shimmyshimmyya
No, we were just dating...supposedly I'm the only one he was dating because he said he didn't have time for anyone else...who knows? He was the only one I was seeing though. |
If he wasn't your boyfriend then you two had no commitment to each other prior to you having sex with him. If you want a man to take you seriously, then you're going to have to hold YOURSELF to a higher standard. That way he'll consider you girlfriend/wife-material rather than only f*ck-buddy material.
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good for you! fingers crossed your next guy won't just treat you as good sex and not be interested in the rest!
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i agree with your statement to some extent. if they weren't boyfriend / girlfriend then there was no real commitment there. but equally i dont think that by holding back on sex guys would treat you differently. sometimes yes, but sometimes no.
| Originally Posted by shimmyshimmyya
Well, I left a message on his voicemail basically stating that I was at a point where we should just be friends because this thing isn't working for me. I needed to get it out and I don't care what he thinks, but I feel better and he knows where I stand. So on to the next!
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good for you! fingers crossed your next guy won't just treat you as good sex and not be interested in the rest!
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| Originally Posted by Curly1908
If he wasn't your boyfriend then you two had no commitment to each other prior to you having sex with him. If you want a man to take you seriously, then you're going to have to hold YOURSELF to a higher standard. That way he'll consider you girlfriend/wife-material rather than only f*ck-buddy material. |
i agree with your statement to some extent. if they weren't boyfriend / girlfriend then there was no real commitment there. but equally i dont think that by holding back on sex guys would treat you differently. sometimes yes, but sometimes no.
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
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I HATE when the guy does not fight lol, it's like really, you're just going to let me go?
I definitely understand how you feel. It has happened to me once. I broke-up with this guy I was dating and he just seemed so nonchalant about it, that irked me sooo bad
lol. I thought he would at least put up a struggle for me to stay but he didn't; he just accepted it, like whatever...I told him "Just like that, huh? You sure don't seem to care much." Yeah, I was childish back then
I just had to ask him. He said "No, its just that I respect you too much to disrespect you. I respect your decision." Huh?!? Um ok. Still too easy to set me free though! But then I had a guy who would not accept the breakup and that irked me too lol. An in-between reaction would be nice I guess ha. Let me just say men who truly care about a woman will NOT let the woman they want go so easily, trust me! It has nothing to do with gender but with interest. If he's interested it won't be so easy to accept a breakup. I'm not talking stalkerish-like but he'll at least get his point across that he is disappointed in your decision and would have liked to keep seeing you.
P.S. Don't accept his friendship, it'll make it that much harder for you to move on...he couldn't be a boyfriend so you don't need him as a friend lol. Ciao!
| Originally Posted by shimmyshimmyya
He sent me a text this morning saying that he did liked and cared about me and he respects my decision and that he's cool with us being friends... I'm a little sad but it needed to be done. Of course you always hope they wouldn't let u go so easily and fight for it, but I guess guys aren't like that...oh well... |
I HATE when the guy does not fight lol, it's like really, you're just going to let me go?
P.S. Don't accept his friendship, it'll make it that much harder for you to move on...he couldn't be a boyfriend so you don't need him as a friend lol. Ciao!
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some guys would stay and fight for you! that's how you know this one really wasn't worth it.
| Originally Posted by shimmyshimmyya
He sent me a text this morning saying that he did liked and cared about me and he respects my decision and that he's cool with us being friends... I'm a little sad but it needed to be done. Of course you always hope they wouldn't let u go so easily and fight for it, but I guess guys aren't like that...oh well... |
some guys would stay and fight for you! that's how you know this one really wasn't worth it.
