ri0tdorque
Well-known member
I don't really frequent this area of the site but I have siatuation and I don't really have anybody to bounce it off.
I have this friend who I love to death. We're very close and even though we have moved different places over the years we've always been in touch. Anyway she's the most sweetest girl I've ever know and such a a great person.
She moved in with her girlfriend about a year ago. A few months ago maybe see 4 or so she called me very upset and so I drove out to stay the night (she currently lives about 3 hours from me) We talked a lot and she told me her girlfriend hit her. "It was only once we're trying to work on things blah blah blah" - I kept my cool and while all three of us were in the livingroom talking she *her girlfirend* even told me herself and was very sorry again blah blah. Promises were made that it would never happen again but I took the girl to the side while my friend was mixing drinks and told her if she ever laid a hand on her again I would personally see to it that she would be arrested for domestic vilonce and she would never see or know where we'll call her Melissa is"
Anyway. Sunday I got a call from my friend crying and asking me to drive her to Philly. She told me a bit of what was going on and I told her to give me a few mins the found someone to take care of my son and drove back down there. To make this not kinda short the week prior she had a sucside attempt and was taken to the hospital. While her and the grilfriend were fighting she was yet agian hit, pushed to the ground, and choked. Said girl was anger isssues but anyway she had been gone and came back the next day within 10 mins. of them being in the same house even with me there my friend was crying and just falling a part. She said she wnated to die again and asked to be committed. I packed up what I could made the girlfriend promise to take care of the cats/rats and took her back to here. I did take her to the ER knowing full well with no insurance it would cost tooo much to commit her but at least it got her away from the situation and all that.
She's been here three days. She's by no way better but she's in a much happier place. I knew that just getting her out of that house and away from that chick would do so much good.
Well at first she was talking about the fact that it was over and she wanted to figure out out to move to Philly to be close to family. Now she's mentioned that she should go home on Sunday because of various resons that quite frankly are trivial.
I do not at all feel she would be safe in the house alone. She is not at ALL in a mental state to deal with that situation. I don't trust said girlfriend to take care of her if she's at a breaking point. I've talked to both another close friend she's been talkinga lot with, and her brother. We all agree that she can't go back there.
I've already talked in depth with my husband and he's told me she can have the spare bedroom downstairs and stay so she can figure stuff out and let the dust settle.
Ok after reading all that here's my well worries/issues....
I'm scared, am I over-reacting. Has anybody been in this sitation before? Or were you in a situation looking back do you wish somene close to you would have pulled you out of it?
I have no idea how I'm going to do this. She's going to fight me on this. My goal is to talk to her tomorrow and Saturday then either Saturday and Sunday driving out there myself to pack up a few things, the kitties, and rats and drive it back up here. Have her stay here about a month rent free so she can figure out if she does want to move and if so plan it out right.
Am I stepping over the bounds? Today in the car after talking on the phone with her girlfriend (we'll call her K) she said it was bad then it was good....but she said that she feels like she wants to die everyday. I know depression and I have some experience in suscide attempts I am realy worried about her and do not feel that I can leave her at home. At least here I can watch her.
Any thoughs/opinions would be so helpful I'm just trying to do what's best for her.
I have this friend who I love to death. We're very close and even though we have moved different places over the years we've always been in touch. Anyway she's the most sweetest girl I've ever know and such a a great person.
She moved in with her girlfriend about a year ago. A few months ago maybe see 4 or so she called me very upset and so I drove out to stay the night (she currently lives about 3 hours from me) We talked a lot and she told me her girlfriend hit her. "It was only once we're trying to work on things blah blah blah" - I kept my cool and while all three of us were in the livingroom talking she *her girlfirend* even told me herself and was very sorry again blah blah. Promises were made that it would never happen again but I took the girl to the side while my friend was mixing drinks and told her if she ever laid a hand on her again I would personally see to it that she would be arrested for domestic vilonce and she would never see or know where we'll call her Melissa is"
Anyway. Sunday I got a call from my friend crying and asking me to drive her to Philly. She told me a bit of what was going on and I told her to give me a few mins the found someone to take care of my son and drove back down there. To make this not kinda short the week prior she had a sucside attempt and was taken to the hospital. While her and the grilfriend were fighting she was yet agian hit, pushed to the ground, and choked. Said girl was anger isssues but anyway she had been gone and came back the next day within 10 mins. of them being in the same house even with me there my friend was crying and just falling a part. She said she wnated to die again and asked to be committed. I packed up what I could made the girlfriend promise to take care of the cats/rats and took her back to here. I did take her to the ER knowing full well with no insurance it would cost tooo much to commit her but at least it got her away from the situation and all that.
She's been here three days. She's by no way better but she's in a much happier place. I knew that just getting her out of that house and away from that chick would do so much good.
Well at first she was talking about the fact that it was over and she wanted to figure out out to move to Philly to be close to family. Now she's mentioned that she should go home on Sunday because of various resons that quite frankly are trivial.
I do not at all feel she would be safe in the house alone. She is not at ALL in a mental state to deal with that situation. I don't trust said girlfriend to take care of her if she's at a breaking point. I've talked to both another close friend she's been talkinga lot with, and her brother. We all agree that she can't go back there.
I've already talked in depth with my husband and he's told me she can have the spare bedroom downstairs and stay so she can figure stuff out and let the dust settle.
Ok after reading all that here's my well worries/issues....
I'm scared, am I over-reacting. Has anybody been in this sitation before? Or were you in a situation looking back do you wish somene close to you would have pulled you out of it?
I have no idea how I'm going to do this. She's going to fight me on this. My goal is to talk to her tomorrow and Saturday then either Saturday and Sunday driving out there myself to pack up a few things, the kitties, and rats and drive it back up here. Have her stay here about a month rent free so she can figure out if she does want to move and if so plan it out right.
Am I stepping over the bounds? Today in the car after talking on the phone with her girlfriend (we'll call her K) she said it was bad then it was good....but she said that she feels like she wants to die everyday. I know depression and I have some experience in suscide attempts I am realy worried about her and do not feel that I can leave her at home. At least here I can watch her.
Any thoughs/opinions would be so helpful I'm just trying to do what's best for her.
