Boy problems UGHHH!!!!!!

[MACreation]

JEEZ guys confused the HELL out of me!!
I have a few questions..

OK..........first..what are you supposed to do when you ask a guy a question and he doesn' directly answer..but kinda goes around it like a blind bat, and on top of it, turns it around on you........when u just CAN'T get a straight answer?

second..the guy says he loves you and wants to be with you...what happens if distance is a problem in a relationship...is it safe to take things slow if it's hurting you to do so?

This is greatly appreciated, i am so damn confused!!

 

[jess98765]

ohhh! you poor thing, guys are so difficult to read sometimes. it drives me madly insane too!! i feel you pain dear!
Firstly, how to get a guy to answer your question directly- kinda opposite to what i've always been told to do, but i guess ask him a closed question- like one that requires a 'yes' or 'no' answer. That way he won't try to explain a whole heap, but instead get straight down to the anwer...

Secondly, about the distance thingy... i'm not too sure about that one as i've never been in a long distance relationship. Just take the speed you want to go in the relationship- there's nothing worse than being overly into him, rushing into everything, then finding out that he's really not worth all that trouble etc....
Hope it helps

I'm by no means a relationship expert or anything, but i like helping and giving others suggestions

Good luck with him hun!

 

[user3]

*hugs*

I think it's funny that men tell us we are hard to read! They avoid way more things in relationships than we do!!

I agree with Jess98765 on the whole "closed question". Of course they can still try to beat around the bush but stand your ground!

Please do not take this the wrong way, I feel the words "I Love You" Is used too often in relationships and people take it as "I am in Love with You" when often times it's really an "I care for you very deeply". This is where you need to figure out if is the "in love" or the "care for you deeply". I realize this does help much but in the long run it will. This sound crazy but I find that those that are actually "in love" are over flowing with emotions and sometimes can't step back and see the real picture. I am a hopeless romantic I do believe that love will conquer all! A distance relationship is not that easy. It requires way more time put in and plenty of trust. Of course these are things any relationship requires but a long distance one will test these things almost daily! Take things a pace you both are feel is smooth sailing. I agree again with Jess that there is nothing worse than rushing into things because that is a for sure heart break waiting to happen for one you. I was friends with my husband for 3 yrs before we starting dating and when we did start I took things very slow. Even at an young age I had found out that the "head over heels" thing is not always the best. 12yrs later we are highschool sweethearts that still get butterflies from each other!

I find that writing things down really helps me focus on what I want. Finding out the Pros and Cons of things can help you move forward with a clear head.
If you could explain to him that his avoiding to answer a question of yours is not really helping things and you'd just like a clear answer see how he reacts. Keep in mind that while you may really like this person you need to do what is best for you! If this person does not seem to want to understand your concerns you might want to rethink being with him. A relationship is 50/50 not 70/30!

I hope things work out and I wish you the best!

 

[Hawkeye]

Do what DH does to me if he wants an actual answer. I'll give you an example with my job situation:

There is a head cashier I really do not like. I mean I just cannot stand her.

Well this is what DH did to me one night I came in a little frustraited.

So that head cashier is really bugging you huh?
Me: Nah I'm just having a rough day.
DH: I didn't ask you if you were having a rough day. I asked you if that head cashier is bugging you.
Me: Well I don't really know her...
DH: I didn't ask you if you really know her or not, I'm asking you if she really bugs you.

He will keep on me like that until I finally just give a yes or no answer. Hehe. He's silly though.

I personally have issues with distant relationships. I mean everyone says i love you (like above) and stuff like that but because you can't hang around them-just remember a guy knows what you want to hear and he'll tell you what you want to hear. (Sometimes).

SO I would probably proceed with caution. Again I don't know your situation but I'm just naturally suspicious lol

 

[MACreation]

The questions were 2 diff guys

The question answer one ..forget it...it's a lost cause to be close to some that isn't being a friend back..i don't need friends that backstab

But the distance one..

Me and him met and were "seeing" each other, dating but without the label.. april-mid july...but broke up, we weren't (bf)(gf) because he was scared to trust me bc of ex gf's cheating on him, and me, giving 100% ..i got hurt..bc he pushed and pushed me away. anyways he realized wut he did and said "i love you, i want u back...we have to find a way to make it work, by starting off slowly bc i really do like u a lot". the "i love you" is i care about you deeply...and i feel the same way with him

Work and time schedules conflict, and leave us with no time...we both HATE our jobs..it was probs that tore us apart..but the feelings didn't fade for either of us

Just sucks, it's the worst feeling in the world to be with someone and to know you cant have them...

But i love having him in my life, there are jut times when we talk i wanna just ravage him...and i get scared...wut if another girl appears and he obviously isn't tied to me...bc it's hard to go from close to just friends..GRR!! When we were together, i had all the trust in the world with him, even when he was downright shady

I just always felt weird that he is on hot or not..and has like a 9.0 or something rating, checks it daily..and was online a lot, but had talked to me..said bye, then returned back on and didn't say a word

It happened today he said he was going to lay down b4 going to the movies. and he was online, then put an away msg "sorry be back in 5" like WTF?

He has no confidence in himself...hates his face, hsi body..etc. I think he's devine, but i dunno..he always told me he thoguht he wasn't good enough 4 me..and i would find someone else..like DUH..i am making it clear all the time wut i want

SORRY!! to rant, i am sooo annoyed at how i feel..and so scared to love him more than i do

 

[jess98765]

guys do need thier own private "alone" time too. maybe he feels that everything is just getting too much for him at the moment. i felt like that a couple of months ago, when i just thought that everything was just s*** and hated how i looked, hated my life etc... i didn't feel like talking to anyone at all or anything and just wanted to be alone by myself.... Maybe he's going through one of those times....
Try talking to him and seeing how he's feeling.

 

[MACreation]

Yeah he is...problems with parents divorce, work sucks, has had girls break his heart........he is such a baby but i do wanna mend his heart and help him to be stronger.....when i said bye to him last time i saw him i gave him the biggest hug, and i started crying (i never wanted to cry in front of him) but he actually cried to as we walked to his car, and i knew when opened myself up..he did the same

 

[iiifugaziii]

guys and girls are both confusing. guys just really like having the "we don't care about anything because we're so cool and laid back" attitude more than girls do. .the guy I've been on and off with for 3 years is that guy. he's so fucking dramatic, and then half the time he's like, "psh... I don't give a shit about anything. I don't even THINK about things like YOU do." but if the tables are turned, he's bitchier (and over analyzes about things WAY too much more) than any woman I've ever met. haha it's funny