child beauty queens/performers

[kimmy]

my mom and i were watching wife swap the other day, and this woman had her little daughter enrolled in belly dancing. she put on shows before audiences filled with men thrice her age regularly. naturally, mom voiced her opinion and reminded me that she would have never allowed me in such activities at a young age because of all the predators this world is, unfortunately, full of.

and just this past week, i finished a pretty thourough case study on the jonbenet ramsey murder and it made me think about the world of children's beauty pageants. most of the experts agree that jonbenet's assailant had a motive that tied into (in some way or another) her status as a child beauty queen.

i, personally, have never been a fan of child beauty pageants (or, really any beauty pageant for that matter) mainly because i think they send girls the wrong message and teach them that being beautiful on the outside is more important than being beautiful on the inside. i feel like a belly dancing eight year old is probably learning a similar message.

what do you ladies and gentlemen think of children's beauty pageants and child performers?

 

[Simply Elegant]

I just want to say that regardless of what a child is doing, for example participating in a pageant or running around in a sandbox, these perverts are going to be attracted to them no matter what they're doing, so if a child is truly interested in those types of performing arts activities then I would say that it's fine. I don't think it's okay for kids to participate in things that just focus on physical beauty or in pageants where they're required to wear tons of makeup and hairspray and wear tiny outfits. I think it's better to focus on the talent and performing instead if that's what the child likes doing. Different activities should be tried to keep the child active and out of trouble but shouldn't be forced.

 

[HeavenLeiBlu]

I just think the whole culture is weird and is slightly offensive, to me. My daughter used to get solicited by pageant organizers/organizations all the time, and I never put her into them, and knowing her personality/style now that she's a teenager, she'd have probably hated me for the rest of my life for it, LOL

My opinion is also colored by a co-worker I had. She's really fun, smart and stunning, and I imagine she'd competed in pageants herself, as a younger woman. Both of her daughters enetered frequently. One likes it, the other LOATHES it and needs to be bribed in order to participate. That's such a turnoff. I won't even get into the weird look of the pictures she's had done for them over the years. Some of them bore an eerie resemblance to JonBenet, which I imagine is just the requisite styling/finishing of those types of photos.

I also saw some documentary in which there were this obsessive moms who enetered their girls in these things and they really seemed to not like it. I won't even get on the pageant coaches that some of the mothers were driving hundreds of miles away to see and put their girls through the paces. I even felt weird about the coaches themselves. They were a couple who'd adopted a girl (whom *I* felt like) they adopted so they could dress up like a doll and push her into pageant culture as well.


Just... weird.

 

[pumpkincat210]

My kid would have to come to me first to be in a pageant. I know it's pretty cutthroat, but i don't know how it would be really. I'm not totally against it, but i'd have to navigate it with my daughter first to make a final decision.
I would never put someone in that didn't want to be, my mom wanted me to be a cheerleader and I loathed it, so naturally I was really bad at it. Parents living through their kids is disturbing.

 

[dollypink]

I'm from the UK so I don't know much about this as it's not big over here, but I find it very odd. I hate to see little girls caked in makeup anyway.

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

I saw that paris hilton / nicole richie reality tv show called the simple life, and they were at a beauty pagent camp it think? Dispite the makeup and hairspray overload, at the end of they day they seem to really enjoy doing pagents, and just like any sport, it teaches them to show good sportsmanship, dedication and hardwork. Just hope they dont grow up to be a person who only thinks that physical beauty is most important in life.

But i dont think i could allow my lil girl to wear what i wear on my face, but thats me, i know they hopefully dont wear makeup out of competition and practice so its all good.. since half of the girls were maybe 8 and younger...

 

[pumpkincat210]

I don't mind the makeup they wear because it is hard to see face's on the stage from far away and as we all know makeup helps accentuate our features. It is the dressing provocatively that bugs me. Little girls should not be dressed up as showgirls!
Fortunately beauty pageants aren't solely based on looks. The contestants usually have a talent show, and questions to answer. They are also judged on personality and character.
I think if it is done correctly good confidence could come out of it despite winning or losing, as well as learning to lose gracefully. But also it could ruin a girl's self esteem if she isn't properly prepared for what goes on and feels like she embarrassed herself.
Like I said before I don't know alot about it, but it really is a personal decision thing with many things to be considered. The parent must really do their research and try to guide their child accordingly.
The one thing that bugs me about the Miss America pageant is the bathing suit competition. Is that really necessary? It seems like it is objectifying them and misrepresenting the majority of women. We can see what their bodies are like in the other parts of the show, it's unnecessary to have to wear a bathing suit and heels. It also deters perfectly beautiful women who don't look like a todays society perfect 10 in a bathing suit from entering. It's good and healthy to have a fit body, but it's unrealistic for everyone to be the "perfect" 36-26-34 measurement, be on the taller size and have long legs.
Who is their core audience anyway? I know I don't watch the shows, i think they are kind of boring anyway.

 

[TDoll]

Personally, I believe that if the child is having fun and likes it, then it's ok. There are tons of little girls that like getting dressed up and competing, however there are some that don't and they, obviously, shouldn't be forced to participate. I think pageants can actually be confidence boosters for young girls as well as teaching them social/speaking skills and getting them comfortable with public speaking and being on stage. However, when the child comes home, let them be kids, you know?? It shouldn't be all pageants all the time. Kids need a chance to be kids and play outside and get dirty. But when it comes time for the pageant, let them wear some makeup, put on a pretty dress, and participate in it for a few hours.

I did not compete in pageants as a child, but when I was in high school, I was in several. It was a blast. Did I win every time? No. But it was fun. It's also really fun to look back on and think that I was able to perform on a stage and speak in front of so many people. That gave me confidence for speaking in front of audiences in college and when I speak during parent nights or in meetings when I'm teaching.

 

[pumpkincat210]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TDoll I did not compete in pageants as a child, but when I was in high school, I was in several. It was a blast. Did I win every time? No. But it was fun. It's also really fun to look back on and think that I was able to perform on a stage and speak in front of so many people. That gave me confidence for speaking in front of audiences in college and when I speak during parent nights or in meetings when I'm teaching.

That's great that you liked them

Dressing up is so much fun, but I think i'd falter on the questions(i'm so bad about on the spot things, i gotta think things over,lol). I did public speaking though and found it very helpful even though i'm kind of shy. Being up there helped me get over crowds and being looked at by tons of people. I found i liked to share things i liked with others and try to interest them.
My mom put me in cheerleading when i was 8 and it was not for me. She was a dancer and cheerleader and really missed it i guess. Instead of feeling confident I felt like I didn't belong. She made me try out in front of everyone although i told her that i didn't know the routine well enough. She said i'd be mad at myself for not trying. I wish i had not done it. The routine went horribly I got stage fright and twisted my ankle. All confidence left... gone. it took me forever to get over it, but I did. I learned such an important lesson after all though, don't make your kids do something they are adamant about not. They'll let you know what they are interested in and if they don't you're not paying them enough attention.

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

I havent seen a lil girl beauty pagent before, and i hope they arent wearing a 2 piece bikini and a tiny mini skirt or something. I was in gymnastics at a young age and they wore some pretty skimpy stuff as well as ice skating. But i guess its different because your not really flauting your body off to a whole crowd of adults on stage.. kinda...


If i was a little girl again and my mom signed me up for a pagent i would have said no and not attend classes, its not for everyone. Ahhh so much controversial topics in life!!!

 

[lainz]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Elegant I just want to say that regardless of what a child is doing, for example participating in a pageant or running around in a sandbox, these perverts are going to be attracted to them no matter what they're doing, so if a child is truly interested in those types of performing arts activities then I would say that it's fine. I don't think it's okay for kids to participate in things that just focus on physical beauty or in pageants where they're required to wear tons of makeup and hairspray and wear tiny outfits. I think it's better to focus on the talent and performing instead if that's what the child likes doing. Different activities should be tried to keep the child active and out of trouble but shouldn't be forced.

i just found out at the preschool i work, an older man has been lurking around...pacing infront of it, and parking his car across the street for hours at a time staring at the kids. okay..creepy...and the kids have been in their bathing suits splashing around in wading pools because its been hot....

what freaks me out the most, is thinking of what he could be doing for hours in his car while he stares at a preschool...

these people are sick. i hope he comes around again so the police can arrest him.

 

[pumpkincat210]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lainz i just found out at the preschool i work, an older man has been lurking around...pacing infront of it, and parking his car across the street for hours at a time staring at the kids. okay..creepy...and the kids have been in their bathing suits splashing around in wading pools because its been hot.... what freaks me out the most, is thinking of what he could be doing for hours in his car while he stares at a preschool... these people are sick. i hope he comes around again so the police can arrest him.

That is very scary. Definitely call the police anyway and let them know of this person. Get his license plates if you can, the police usually follow up on child predator reports.

 

[Simply Elegant]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lainz i just found out at the preschool i work, an older man has been lurking around...pacing infront of it, and parking his car across the street for hours at a time staring at the kids. okay..creepy...and the kids have been in their bathing suits splashing around in wading pools because its been hot.... what freaks me out the most, is thinking of what he could be doing for hours in his car while he stares at a preschool... these people are sick. i hope he comes around again so the police can arrest him.

That's completely disgusting if he actually is not waiting for his grandchild to get out of school. I'd contact the police or at least notice if he keeps hanging around. They can't make an arrest if watching is all he's been doing though.

 

[*Stargazer*]

The sexualization of small girls is uber creepy. The fake eyelashes and teeth, the parading around in swimsuits - all disturbing on so many levels. There is NO way my daughters would ever participate in something like that at such a young age. And not just because of the pervs.

 

[florabundance]

I think it's wrong for 11-13 year olds to be regularly using make up, let alone 6 year olds. I find those pageants so sinister and weird.

 

[NicksWifey]

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Stargazer* The sexualization of small girls is uber creepy. The fake eyelashes and teeth, the parading around in swimsuits - all disturbing on so many levels. There is NO way my daughters would ever participate in something like that at such a young age. And not just because of the pervs.

I couldn't agree more. I don't think there's anything wrong with the small-town beauty pageants they have where I grew up, because it's just fun & games, but seriously, I've watched TV shows before and have seen sites on the internet that are devoted to making a little girl look like a 25-year-old hooker. It's disgusting.
I remember watching an episode of Dr. Phil, probably 2 years ago. They had a little girl on there and it was obvious her mom lived vicariously through the child. She was just a normal little kid going through changes like losing teeth and all that. Just an average looking little girl. But then the mom had her all dolled up, including fake nails, a spray tan, hair extensions, fake contacts, a set of false teeth, blah, blah, blah. She wore more makeup than most women wore, it was creepy.
It showed before & after shots of the little girl and it seriously didn't even look like the same kid. It just didn't look normal to me and it just bugged the hell out of me

 

[*Stargazer*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NicksWifey I couldn't agree more. I don't think there's anything wrong with the small-town beauty pageants they have where I grew up, because it's just fun & games, but seriously, I've watched TV shows before and have seen sites on the internet that are devoted to making a little girl look like a 25-year-old hooker. It's disgusting. I remember watching an episode of Dr. Phil, probably 2 years ago. They had a little girl on there and it was obvious her mom lived vicariously through the child. She was just a normal little kid going through changes like losing teeth and all that. Just an average looking little girl. But then the mom had her all dolled up, including fake nails, a spray tan, hair extensions, fake contacts, a set of false teeth, blah, blah, blah. She wore more makeup than most women wore, it was creepy. It showed before & after shots of the little girl and it seriously didn't even look like the same kid. It just didn't look normal to me and it just bugged the hell out of me

I remember that episode. It was SO disturbing. It was even worse because it was obvious the kid was just ehhh about doing it and the mom was MEAN to her all the time.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Well, I do belly dancing regularly, have since I was 18, and I feel like, depending on who's teaching it, it can be as child appropriate as tap, jazz, hip hop, or ballet, honestly. If I were to teach a child, I wouldn't teach them certain moves or costume them how I'd costume myself, but letting kids do a hip drop or play with a veil or cane? I don't see the harm in it. One of my teachers started when she was like 14 and she claimed it helped her learn to accept her body for what it was. Of course, I wouldn't choose certain venues for kids. To me, you can modify it enough to be child appropriate.

Off that soap box but onto child performers. I think it's the role of the parent to ensure your kid has a childhood and grows up healthy and well. There have been plenty of child performers who seems all right. Natalie Portman, Elijah Wood, Ron Howard, and so on.

Child beauty pageants I can't get behind. I can't get behind beauty pageants in general, though, but I think it's really sad to invest so much time and money on your kid's look versus cultivating artistic/intellectual/athletic/whatever abilities. But above all, I think it's most important to let your kid enjoy being a kid and let him/her seek out things that interest him/her and pursue them because of that interest, not because the parent wants them to.

 

[NicksWifey]

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Stargazer* I remember that episode. It was SO disturbing. It was even worse because it was obvious the kid was just ehhh about doing it and the mom was MEAN to her all the time.

That's right, the mother was a total bitch about the kid performing in pageants. I remember the mom's sister was so against it and kept saying the kid's fake tan was grossing her out. Actually, I found some info on it from Dr. Phil's site:
The first set of pics are of that little girl:

Dr. Phil.com - Shows - Trouble in the Spotlight

 

[S.S.BlackOrchid]

I absolutely hate the makeup/photoshop that they do. 5 year olds don't need cheekbones and veneers!!! They look adorable just the way they are. I'd never pick on a kid for their physical appearance.

My parents put me in ballet when I was 8, and the ballet teacher was mean to me because I had broader shoulders and wasn't as slender as the other kids. I was very fit (soccer and karate), but it affected me when she yelled at me in class.