Chose your baby's sex?

[YvetteJeannine]

Hubby and I are in the "Childfree" state of mind. Having said that, I DO love kids. Little girls particularly. I think maybe someday I MAY want a kid....If I ever DID decide to have a kid, though...I know I'd want a little girl. Not to say I wouldn't love my child if it turned out to be a boy...but I know I'd never have another (one kid is WAYYY more than enough, IMO...at least for me

); henceforth, I would never get that little girl. I'd be "for" it, if ever it were an option for me. That's not to say, however that there aren't some aspects of "genetic engineering" that don't scare/bother me...there are.

 

[Shimmer]

What ever happened to the concept of "As long as the baby is healthy we're happy"?

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

I disagree with your statement that standards of beauty are hard coded in our DNA. Standards of beauty vary from culture to culture...and they change with time. What was beautiful in the past (Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, etc...all super curvy women who wore size 12 and up) may not be considered beautiful today (MM would be considered overweight by today's standards). Some cultures in Africa and the Pacific value overweight women more than thin ones, because the heavier women are perceived to have enough money to feed themselves...

Body type beauty changes with time, as well as varying among cultures.

However, facial beauty is often determined by symmetry. Some studies have been done about it, and the faces considered most beautiful have the most symmetric features. I think that might be a DNA encoding.

 

[giz2000]

True...symmetrical faces are "beautiful," but, at least for me, I find "flaws" much more interesting and attractive...but that's just me...

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer What ever happened to the concept of "As long as the baby is healthy we're happy"?

I dont think thats always true for every couple though. While I think any expecting Mom would be overjoyed at the birth of a son or daughter, not having a baby of the sex you want to have (if you prefer one over the other) is often a cause of regret later on in life. Especially if you only want one child. It might not mean you love your child any less, or treat it any differently. But it could prevent those feelings of regret where you hear parents talk about trying for a Boy or Girl, and being disapointed with the result. In those cases woulnd't it be better if the the couple was not only happy that the baby is healthy, but also happy it's a boy? or happy it's a girl?

 

[Beauty Mark]

Most couples are just happy if the baby is healthy, but there is a little bit of a preference towards one sex usually. My friends are hoping their next baby is a boy, but they'll be just as pleased with another baby girl.

 

[Shimmer]

RaeRae, I see what you're saying but honestly, it's something I view as unnecessary and just another example of how stupidly selfish our society has become.

 

[Raerae]

Are we really that different than ever before though?

Before selective sex pregnancies, I'm sure there were abortions based on finding out the sex of a child, as well as children given up for adoption, or abandoned.

It's obvious that not all families are happy with the 50/50 chance of a boy or a girl. Different families handle it in different ways though. Some keep trying for a child of the sex they want. Look at King Henery or whichever king it was that started killing his wives because through random chance, only girls were born.

I know even in my own family, my step dad has regrets that they never had more children so he could have a son. He's never told me this directly, but my Mom has talked with me about it since as he's gotten older he's regretted not having children with my Mom. If i had been born differently I wonder if his regrets would have been the same.

Untimateley in the end does it really matter? Chances are it's a private decision between husband and wife and the decision to share that information with other is ultimateley their own. Who knows, you could have friends, family members etc, who have had this done, and in the end, no one would ever know other than that they were happy with a healthy baby.

 

[Shimmer]

actually, no.

Determining a baby's sex isn't done until at the absolute earliest 15 to 16 weeks.
MOST doctors won't determine the sex until 20 weeks.
Abortions aren't typically done on a healthy fetus at 20 weeks or later.

 

[Raerae]

All abortions aren't done legelly, and abandoning a child after birth to die of exposure is basically abortion in my book.

Plus it's probably possible to test for sex before the physical primary charateristics show visibly on ultrasound.

http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/pregna.../aa062998a.htm

"Genetic testing is also used to determine the gender of your baby before birth. Because each of these also carries a risk to the baby and the pregnancy they are rarely used to solely find out the gender, but rather for a specific search for genetic information. The two most common would be the amniocentesis and the chorionic villus sampling (CVS). CVS can be a done between the 8-10th week, while amniocentesis is generally done after week 14. These tests are nearly 99% accurate in telling you the baby's gender."

Obviously as it states there is risk, and it's rarely used. But just because it's rarely used doesn't mean it doesnt happen.

 

[Shimmer]

Just because it happens doesn't make it right. :/

 

[caffn8me]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae All abortions aren't done legelly, and abandoning a child after birth to die of exposure is basically abortion in my book.

A method which is still commonly practised in China unfortunately

 

[*Stargazer*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by caffn8me A method which is still commonly practised in China unfortunately

And India. And it is having horrible reprecussions already. And will only become worse as more and more places in both places practice selective abortion. The balance is going to shift and cause numerous problems in future generations. Women will become a numerical minority and I HIGHLY doubt that will improve their treatment in certain regions of the world.

I would only ever choose the sex of a child if I had a genetic abnormality that would affect one sex and not the other.

I've honestly never understood the idea that people want a child SOOOO badly that they resort to spending lots and lots of money on fertility treatment but then are super specific about the things they will accept in a baby. A child only needs love to be happy, not blue eyes or blond hair. I wonder if parents who so desperately want to control the physical characteristics of a child will be able to deal with the COMPLETELY uncontrollable business of raising a child, KWIM?

 

[Beauty Mark]

I know the issue is complicated, but I think some people are control freaks in all aspects of their lives. I'm also willing to bet it's a vanity thing with their children, as well, when it comes to some of the physical characteristics.

 

[NutMeg]

I think the main thing people have to realise here is that having a child is not about the parent, it's about the child. If you're doing it just to fulfill yourself... Isn't that selfish? If you're doing it for your own fulfillment to the point that only a specific child will satisfy you, then you aren't really a parent, you're using your child to make you happy. How is that right? I know some of this isn't coming out right, because I know having kids is incredibly fulfilling (I'll use the same word again because I can't think of another good one), but my basic point is that it's not about you. Being a parent means sacrifice and being unselfish, and if you think that giving your child the gift of beauty is an unselfish thing to do, consider that if a child is given everything and never has to perservere through hardship... What kind of character is that child going to have? How are they going to be able to deal with life? I don't want my children to have an easy life, because in spite of the fact that it will be painful for me to watch them suffer through everything that I know they will have to face, I'm willing to suffer through it with them so that they can be strong and selfsufficient in the end. I am a better person for the pain I have come through and knowing that you can do that is the most amazing feeling in the world. How would you feel if you had a skill or talent that you were really proud of and then your parents told you that they picked you so that you would be good at that? Not only would you feel like that's why they love you, but it's not really something you can be proud of anymore because it was all their doing. Children are a gift, and I don't know about you but I think the best gifts are the ones that you don't pick out yourself, the ones that surprise you. That's just how I feel and I'm sorry if I've offended someone, but I will never pick my child, and I don't even think I want to know the gender until the baby's born. I will take what I am given and be grateful for it.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg Being a parent means sacrifice and being unselfish, and if you think that giving your child the gift of beauty is an unselfish thing to do, consider that if a child is given everything and never has to perservere through hardship... What kind of character is that child going to have? How are they going to be able to deal with life?

I would think life is hard enough with having self esteem issues about your physical appearance. If anything, being beautiful, and a woman, would make their lives harder. Since people tend to assume that attractive women aren't as smart or as capable of being anything other than pretty. Grass is always greener? Life is hard, whoever you are.