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MACATTAK
Well-known member
Re: Boo sensitivity and insecurity. Help?
Sometimes you have to keep doing things until they become a reality. So, you need to act like the person you want to be (even if it's awkward and hard..and maybe even fake at first). The more you do something, the more it will become real. If you beat yourself down everyday & say negative things to yourself...you will start to believe it and become that, but if you do the opposite the opposite happens.
Sometimes you have to keep doing things until they become a reality. So, you need to act like the person you want to be (even if it's awkward and hard..and maybe even fake at first). The more you do something, the more it will become real. If you beat yourself down everyday & say negative things to yourself...you will start to believe it and become that, but if you do the opposite the opposite happens.
jenii
Well-known member
Re: Boo sensitivity and insecurity. Help?
When I was reading this, I laughed somewhat tragically to myself, because I used to be EXTROVERTED in high school, and now I'm introverted and actually care what people think.
I keep wondering what the hell I did to change so drastically. I think it happened when I fell in love with someone. Worst thing I ever did.
Seriously, though. I don't have any advice. I'm just like you now. I wish I could tell you how to become more like I used to be, but I'm still trying to figure that out myself. I hate being sensitive, and I hate caring what other people think of me.
When I was reading this, I laughed somewhat tragically to myself, because I used to be EXTROVERTED in high school, and now I'm introverted and actually care what people think.
I keep wondering what the hell I did to change so drastically. I think it happened when I fell in love with someone. Worst thing I ever did.
Seriously, though. I don't have any advice. I'm just like you now. I wish I could tell you how to become more like I used to be, but I'm still trying to figure that out myself. I hate being sensitive, and I hate caring what other people think of me.
nunu
Well-known member
Re: Boo sensitivity and insecurity. Help?
oh my god i am the same as you!! I am extremly shy and and i'm always scared to talk incase i say something wrong, i too thought that it would disappear in college but i guess not! Everyone refers to me as the quiet girl!
I try to act more intrested when i talk to people just to make conversation with them. You should feel confident with yourself, we all have our insecurities, im sure everyone who you met during college were feeling nervous because college is different than school. College is a new place were you meet new people with different interests.
Chin up girl you shouldn't feel insecure about yourself. Talk more and stop being shy, not everyone you talk to is super confident with themselves
I care a lot about what people think of me, but sometimes i feel like what the hell? i am a human too! And if they don't like me for who i am then tough!
I agree with MACATTAK, act like the person you would love to be and soon it will be you
i will take that advise too.
Update us soon i would love to be more helpful
oh my god i am the same as you!! I am extremly shy and and i'm always scared to talk incase i say something wrong, i too thought that it would disappear in college but i guess not! Everyone refers to me as the quiet girl!
I try to act more intrested when i talk to people just to make conversation with them. You should feel confident with yourself, we all have our insecurities, im sure everyone who you met during college were feeling nervous because college is different than school. College is a new place were you meet new people with different interests.
Chin up girl you shouldn't feel insecure about yourself. Talk more and stop being shy, not everyone you talk to is super confident with themselves
I care a lot about what people think of me, but sometimes i feel like what the hell? i am a human too! And if they don't like me for who i am then tough!
I agree with MACATTAK, act like the person you would love to be and soon it will be you
Update us soon i would love to be more helpful
purrtykitty
Well-known member
Re: Boo sensitivity and insecurity. Help?
have you thought about joning a social organization, like a sorority? i know there are a lot of myths about sororities, but they can be a great way to interact with a lot of different people. not all sororities are created equal, so there may be one that's right for you. i wasn't in one, but my husband was in a fraternity and it gave him the opportunity to build leadership skills and he made some great life-long friends.
i know it's an awkward time, still. i was kinda like you throughout college, except i was able to have interaction through my husband's fraternity...and i ended meeting a few friends myself (girlfriends of the fraternity guys...who are now the wives of these same guys).
i also took the opportunity to take some speech classes (not required courses) to help me build confidence. public speaking really sucks, but since my grade was dependent on how well i did...i tried my hardest, and i ended up doing really well.
anyway, i hope these tips help you. just remember, there's nothing wrong with the way you are because everyone has insecurites. but, i find it admirable that you are wanting to work on your insecurities and that you want to make the most of your college experience.
have you thought about joning a social organization, like a sorority? i know there are a lot of myths about sororities, but they can be a great way to interact with a lot of different people. not all sororities are created equal, so there may be one that's right for you. i wasn't in one, but my husband was in a fraternity and it gave him the opportunity to build leadership skills and he made some great life-long friends.
i know it's an awkward time, still. i was kinda like you throughout college, except i was able to have interaction through my husband's fraternity...and i ended meeting a few friends myself (girlfriends of the fraternity guys...who are now the wives of these same guys).
i also took the opportunity to take some speech classes (not required courses) to help me build confidence. public speaking really sucks, but since my grade was dependent on how well i did...i tried my hardest, and i ended up doing really well.
anyway, i hope these tips help you. just remember, there's nothing wrong with the way you are because everyone has insecurites. but, i find it admirable that you are wanting to work on your insecurities and that you want to make the most of your college experience.
Raerae
Well-known member
Re: Boo sensitivity and insecurity. Help?
Easy way to keep conversations going is to ask people questions about themselves. People LOVE talking about themselves, which means you can totally keep a conversation going, without haveing to talk much yourself. You know... Small talk. Just look around at where your at with the person, and you'll have plenty to talk about. You just need to be observant. Eventually you find a common ground and the conversation always gets easier. Plus it shows the other person your interested in what they have to say, and not just blabbing on about yourself. Even if your super confident, there is always going to be akward moments.
Easy way to keep conversations going is to ask people questions about themselves. People LOVE talking about themselves, which means you can totally keep a conversation going, without haveing to talk much yourself. You know... Small talk. Just look around at where your at with the person, and you'll have plenty to talk about. You just need to be observant. Eventually you find a common ground and the conversation always gets easier. Plus it shows the other person your interested in what they have to say, and not just blabbing on about yourself. Even if your super confident, there is always going to be akward moments.
Amymo
Well-known member
Re: Boo sensitivity and insecurity. Help?
Agree with Raerae totally, until I got my first job I was so shy, a few days in the office and I realised I wasn't going to get on in my career unless I spoke up and didn't get so tongue tied. Talked to mt BF and parents and they were like why would people be mean to you for speaking up etc, and some councelling helped me to see that I am always good with names, interested in people, ask about their families etc with friends, why not be like that with other people too - so I did, I just asked people questions til I felt comfortable to share stuff about myself. Two years on and a new job, a few weeks ago I said to a new colleague "cos you know I'm quite shy and stuff" and they were laughing saying no way are you shy! I was so proud. Put yourself out there, use the interested side of you to bring out the interesting! Good luck peaches xx
Agree with Raerae totally, until I got my first job I was so shy, a few days in the office and I realised I wasn't going to get on in my career unless I spoke up and didn't get so tongue tied. Talked to mt BF and parents and they were like why would people be mean to you for speaking up etc, and some councelling helped me to see that I am always good with names, interested in people, ask about their families etc with friends, why not be like that with other people too - so I did, I just asked people questions til I felt comfortable to share stuff about myself. Two years on and a new job, a few weeks ago I said to a new colleague "cos you know I'm quite shy and stuff" and they were laughing saying no way are you shy! I was so proud. Put yourself out there, use the interested side of you to bring out the interesting! Good luck peaches xx
tara_hearts
Well-known member
Re: Boo sensitivity and insecurity. Help?
Put on a show until it becomes reality. Pretend to be someone super confident and flirty. When you look in the mirror, think of all your great qualities. Think of how pretty you are on the inside and outside. But force yourself to be outgoing even if you feel awkward. The more you do it the more natural you will feel. It will slowly become your personality. Just have fun with it. I hope this helps you!
Put on a show until it becomes reality. Pretend to be someone super confident and flirty. When you look in the mirror, think of all your great qualities. Think of how pretty you are on the inside and outside. But force yourself to be outgoing even if you feel awkward. The more you do it the more natural you will feel. It will slowly become your personality. Just have fun with it. I hope this helps you!
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Re: Boo sensitivity and insecurity. Help?
Feigning confidence can help, but I think you're generally the most confident and fun/friendly when you're engaging people in something that interests you. Join activities that captivate your attention, start conversations about stuff you enjoy.
Making friends is a funny thing. I can't honestly say when I've made the jump from acquaintances to friends.
Feigning confidence can help, but I think you're generally the most confident and fun/friendly when you're engaging people in something that interests you. Join activities that captivate your attention, start conversations about stuff you enjoy.
Making friends is a funny thing. I can't honestly say when I've made the jump from acquaintances to friends.
xbeatofangelx
Well-known member
Re: Boo sensitivity and insecurity. Help?
I agree with kitty. Joining a sorority is a great way to meet a lot of people. Before I joined mine, I was really introverted, but being in a sorority forces you to be socially active and meet new people. The whole purpose is pretty much sisterhood and networking =]. yay! and drinking, har har.
I agree with kitty. Joining a sorority is a great way to meet a lot of people. Before I joined mine, I was really introverted, but being in a sorority forces you to be socially active and meet new people. The whole purpose is pretty much sisterhood and networking =]. yay! and drinking, har har.
Marielle001
Well-known member
Re: Boo sensitivity and insecurity. Help?
I'm an extremely extroverted person. I am the social chair/head party planner at my college. I LOVE talking.
My advice: really, just stop caring! Those awkward situations? They're probably pretty hilarious. If you look at it with an eye for amusement, they tend to shift from awkward to funny pretty quickly.
I think most people overestimate how much everyone else is analyzing their behavior. Being a little awkward isn't necessarily a bad thing-- better than being boring. If you put yourself out there, people will form an opinion of you. I think the best way to be more extroverted is to form an opinion of yourself-- this is who I am, and what I like, etc. Then if somebody doesn't like you, it doesn't change the way you think about yourself, and it isn't such a risk to be outgoing.
I'm an extremely extroverted person. I am the social chair/head party planner at my college. I LOVE talking.
My advice: really, just stop caring! Those awkward situations? They're probably pretty hilarious. If you look at it with an eye for amusement, they tend to shift from awkward to funny pretty quickly.
I think most people overestimate how much everyone else is analyzing their behavior. Being a little awkward isn't necessarily a bad thing-- better than being boring. If you put yourself out there, people will form an opinion of you. I think the best way to be more extroverted is to form an opinion of yourself-- this is who I am, and what I like, etc. Then if somebody doesn't like you, it doesn't change the way you think about yourself, and it isn't such a risk to be outgoing.
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Re: Boo sensitivity and insecurity. Help?
At the beginning of each semester, we always had a club sign up day. SO many people are in the same boat you are, not knowing how things are exactly.
Having run many things before, if you're a responsible, reliable person any leader will be happy to have you. It's amazing how many people will flake out on you
At the beginning of each semester, we always had a club sign up day. SO many people are in the same boat you are, not knowing how things are exactly.
Having run many things before, if you're a responsible, reliable person any leader will be happy to have you. It's amazing how many people will flake out on you
