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- Thread starter luvsic
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jetplanesex
Well-known member
Re: Why can't I attract a guy?
In my personal experience if you want a relationship with someone, get to know them on an emotional and mental level before a physical level. Obviously this doesn't play true for everyone but most college age guys don't pursue relationships with girls who are so willing to hook up right off the bat. Play coy. Don't give them what they want until you know that there is more to the relationship than just something physical. I think that's such a huge mistake that young women [ myself included, my first two years of college ] make, thinking the only way they can attract a guy is by the way they look. Many guys are shallow but the ones who matter are almost always looking for something more, and not only that but waiting leaves a little mystery and excitement as well!
Another thing I've personally experienced is that sort of disparity to be in a relationship and have a companion and that typically IS a 'man repellent'. Of course I am speaking VERY generally here.
Be yourself. Don't try so hard to attract attention and it will come. You have to be happy with yourself before you can ever truly be happy with someone else.
In my personal experience if you want a relationship with someone, get to know them on an emotional and mental level before a physical level. Obviously this doesn't play true for everyone but most college age guys don't pursue relationships with girls who are so willing to hook up right off the bat. Play coy. Don't give them what they want until you know that there is more to the relationship than just something physical. I think that's such a huge mistake that young women [ myself included, my first two years of college ] make, thinking the only way they can attract a guy is by the way they look. Many guys are shallow but the ones who matter are almost always looking for something more, and not only that but waiting leaves a little mystery and excitement as well!
Another thing I've personally experienced is that sort of disparity to be in a relationship and have a companion and that typically IS a 'man repellent'. Of course I am speaking VERY generally here.
Be yourself. Don't try so hard to attract attention and it will come. You have to be happy with yourself before you can ever truly be happy with someone else.
florabundance
Well-known member
Re: Why can't I attract a guy?
Until you believe that you are an attractive person, no one else will. And I mean that in terms of looks and personality.
Until you believe that you are an attractive person, no one else will. And I mean that in terms of looks and personality.
ohnna-lee
Well-known member
Re: Why can't I attract a guy?
And as for "desperation", do you mean by the way I'm dressing up? I feel like I don't dress in super revealing clothing, and I do not at all throw myself at guys.[/quote]
No, depseration isn't a clothing issue it is an appearance you give others that will turn them off. You're unsure of yourself and that is not a good quality, you have to be secure in your womenhood.
And as for "desperation", do you mean by the way I'm dressing up? I feel like I don't dress in super revealing clothing, and I do not at all throw myself at guys.[/quote]
No, depseration isn't a clothing issue it is an appearance you give others that will turn them off. You're unsure of yourself and that is not a good quality, you have to be secure in your womenhood.
NutMeg
Well-known member
Re: Why can't I attract a guy?
You seem to think that looks is what's going to get you a man. And it might, just not the kind of man that you want. Both of your posts in this thread focus on your appearance, and the fact that you equate someone finding you hot with someone wanting a relationship with you. I think that says something significant. I feel like you're completely missing the point.
Look hot if that makes you happy. Stop over-analyzing, be yourself. Relax, have fun. Don't focus on getting a guy, focus on getting to know yourself. Seriously, if you just calm down and try and get to know who you are it will all start making more sense.
You seem to think that looks is what's going to get you a man. And it might, just not the kind of man that you want. Both of your posts in this thread focus on your appearance, and the fact that you equate someone finding you hot with someone wanting a relationship with you. I think that says something significant. I feel like you're completely missing the point.
Look hot if that makes you happy. Stop over-analyzing, be yourself. Relax, have fun. Don't focus on getting a guy, focus on getting to know yourself. Seriously, if you just calm down and try and get to know who you are it will all start making more sense.
06290714
Well-known member
Re: Why can't I attract a guy?
HUGS
Honestly, don`t look. Go about your daily activities, dress how you would normally dress on a day to day basis. Don`t try to impress anybody. The more you look, you won`t find. Let Mr. Right find you..feel comfortable in your own skin. & don`t forget that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I was in a relationship with my ex for 3 years, we split & I really didn`t want another relationship for a while so I went about my normal routine & didn`t even go out! And I met a guy, we talked for a few months & got together. I kicked him to the curb a month later though, his baby`s mama was PSYCHO to the max. So after this relationship I was totally like okay no more guys no more damn relationships, it`s me time..
I promised myself I wasn`t going to get involved with anybody else for a while. Long behold, 5 months later I run into this guy I met a year or so back thru a homeboy, but we just met as friends. Anyways, we talked for a long time & than got together & we`ve been together since & are planning to get married within the next couple years.
Sorry for the novel, but I`m just saying, don`t go search!
Do your thing & mingle!
Honestly, don`t look. Go about your daily activities, dress how you would normally dress on a day to day basis. Don`t try to impress anybody. The more you look, you won`t find. Let Mr. Right find you..feel comfortable in your own skin. & don`t forget that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I was in a relationship with my ex for 3 years, we split & I really didn`t want another relationship for a while so I went about my normal routine & didn`t even go out! And I met a guy, we talked for a few months & got together. I kicked him to the curb a month later though, his baby`s mama was PSYCHO to the max. So after this relationship I was totally like okay no more guys no more damn relationships, it`s me time..
I promised myself I wasn`t going to get involved with anybody else for a while. Long behold, 5 months later I run into this guy I met a year or so back thru a homeboy, but we just met as friends. Anyways, we talked for a long time & than got together & we`ve been together since & are planning to get married within the next couple years.
Sorry for the novel, but I`m just saying, don`t go search!
Do your thing & mingle!
ohnna-lee
Well-known member
Re: Why can't I attract a guy?
Quote:
Use a dildo
Hang with the girls
Do things besides being all up in your mirror
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvsic
Thanks Nutmeg, it makes more sense now. I guess I have a twisted perception on what I want and what's a reality. It's hard to accept, but I also mentioned before I feel like I have no personality now that I've focused so much into my looks. What's a good way to get to know yourself? |
Use a dildo
Hang with the girls
Do things besides being all up in your mirror
stacylynne
Well-known member
Re: Why can't I attract a guy?
Be yourself. Don't put on airs for anyone. Let yourself shine.
If a guy doesn't want to get to know you on a personal level & just looking for a one night stand. He did you a favor.
Never sell yourself short. Hold your head up high with confidence. Your still young. When you least expect it, you will meet someone.
Good Luck
XO
Be yourself. Don't put on airs for anyone. Let yourself shine.
If a guy doesn't want to get to know you on a personal level & just looking for a one night stand. He did you a favor.
Never sell yourself short. Hold your head up high with confidence. Your still young. When you least expect it, you will meet someone.
Good Luck
XO
NutMeg
Well-known member
Re: Why can't I attract a guy?
I say it all the time, but journal. Seriously. Write down everything you've ever been interested in. Pick the coolest ones and make it a hobby. Write down your dreams and goals. Where do you want to be in 5 years, or in 10? Write down all of your skills and accomplishments. Write down your faults and screw ups. How are you planning on working on those faults? What things are important to have in your life? How are you going to make those things happen? Next time you get in a fight with someone, journal about your reactions. Why did you act the way you did? What about the other person's actions or words upset/angered you? Here's a link to a list of questions to journal about, which I got from the Specktra Beauty Blog.
Debt-Proof Living - Meet Mary Hunt - Mary's Web Desk
Just start asking questions about yourself.
I say it all the time, but journal. Seriously. Write down everything you've ever been interested in. Pick the coolest ones and make it a hobby. Write down your dreams and goals. Where do you want to be in 5 years, or in 10? Write down all of your skills and accomplishments. Write down your faults and screw ups. How are you planning on working on those faults? What things are important to have in your life? How are you going to make those things happen? Next time you get in a fight with someone, journal about your reactions. Why did you act the way you did? What about the other person's actions or words upset/angered you? Here's a link to a list of questions to journal about, which I got from the Specktra Beauty Blog.
Debt-Proof Living - Meet Mary Hunt - Mary's Web Desk
Just start asking questions about yourself.
Stephy171
Well-known member
Re: Why can't I attract a guy?
honestly that guy will come around when you LEAST expect it.... i was kind of in your situation and once i gave up looking for someone... that special person came along... he liked me fro me and not for trying to fit in or blah blah blah... its also about how you represent yourself... i learned this
If you portray yourself as just this party girl whos looking to hookup thats all they will see you as and not take you seriously at all.... not saying that this is you im jus speaking in general.. but guys do like a chasee and its true what someone said... andm y mom has always told me this....
Untill you learn to love yourself no one else will come to love you...
hehe soudns better in spanish
honestly that guy will come around when you LEAST expect it.... i was kind of in your situation and once i gave up looking for someone... that special person came along... he liked me fro me and not for trying to fit in or blah blah blah... its also about how you represent yourself... i learned this
If you portray yourself as just this party girl whos looking to hookup thats all they will see you as and not take you seriously at all.... not saying that this is you im jus speaking in general.. but guys do like a chasee and its true what someone said... andm y mom has always told me this....
Untill you learn to love yourself no one else will come to love you...
ashk36
Well-known member
Re: Why can't I attract a guy?
I was in your shoes from age 13 to age 21!! I was always the third wheel. All my friends always had boyfriends, and I just couldn't seem to find someone who actually liked me for me. For a few years after high school, I just had fun and stopped caring about love and relationships. I fell ridiculously in love for 9 months, had my heart broken to pieces, and while I was picking them up met the most amazing person in the world. It does happen when you least expect it. You just have to be open to it. I almost lost the love of my life because I was too blind to see what a good thing I had. Since then I've finally figured out what love really is, and that was the one person I almost let go.
But to find all that, you have to find yourself first. It's hard for someone else to love you when YOU don't love you.
I was in your shoes from age 13 to age 21!! I was always the third wheel. All my friends always had boyfriends, and I just couldn't seem to find someone who actually liked me for me. For a few years after high school, I just had fun and stopped caring about love and relationships. I fell ridiculously in love for 9 months, had my heart broken to pieces, and while I was picking them up met the most amazing person in the world. It does happen when you least expect it. You just have to be open to it. I almost lost the love of my life because I was too blind to see what a good thing I had. Since then I've finally figured out what love really is, and that was the one person I almost let go.
But to find all that, you have to find yourself first. It's hard for someone else to love you when YOU don't love you.
abbey_08
Well-known member
Re: Why can't I attract a guy?
just be yourself. dont be too desperate for a relationship. you cant force and relationship or produce one out of thin air with any random person.
stop looking and focas on enjoying yourself and then the right man will come along.
dress how you want but dont let looking perfect rule your life cos u will attract the wrong men and repell decent ones because decent blokes go for personality not looks
just be yourself. dont be too desperate for a relationship. you cant force and relationship or produce one out of thin air with any random person.
stop looking and focas on enjoying yourself and then the right man will come along.
dress how you want but dont let looking perfect rule your life cos u will attract the wrong men and repell decent ones because decent blokes go for personality not looks
kaliraksha
Well-known member
Re: Why can't I attract a guy?
If I could give you only ONE piece of advice, because all these ladies have pointed out great things to at least explore, I would tell you to make it your only goal to make friends with guys. Real guy friends, just the way you would with a girl, any other human being.
I'm not saying that you might date a friend who is a guy, but it will give you more understanding into a guy's mind, it will switch your focus off of dating to getting to know people, and who knows... I've found all my lasting good relationships from just getting to know someone. Sure, they might be some physical attraction, but put that aside and get to know someone on a different level.
Also, from your other post.... maybe the signal you're sending out subconsciously is that you are also just looking for fun right now. If you guys are in a close-knit co-op and guys know you like to make out for fun, coupled with the way you put yourself out there... maybe they're scared to approach you on a different level. Once again, I'm not saying it's wrong to look like a sex-kitten or hook up for fun- not at all. But, I do think you may have to take a new approach to finding a relationship, which is why I suggest just making guy friends for a while.
Also, guy friends can be magnificent sources of telling you who likes you and what upset him, turned him off, scared him, whatever. I love a guy's perspective when it comes to relationships.
If I could give you only ONE piece of advice, because all these ladies have pointed out great things to at least explore, I would tell you to make it your only goal to make friends with guys. Real guy friends, just the way you would with a girl, any other human being.
I'm not saying that you might date a friend who is a guy, but it will give you more understanding into a guy's mind, it will switch your focus off of dating to getting to know people, and who knows... I've found all my lasting good relationships from just getting to know someone. Sure, they might be some physical attraction, but put that aside and get to know someone on a different level.
Also, from your other post.... maybe the signal you're sending out subconsciously is that you are also just looking for fun right now. If you guys are in a close-knit co-op and guys know you like to make out for fun, coupled with the way you put yourself out there... maybe they're scared to approach you on a different level. Once again, I'm not saying it's wrong to look like a sex-kitten or hook up for fun- not at all. But, I do think you may have to take a new approach to finding a relationship, which is why I suggest just making guy friends for a while.
Also, guy friends can be magnificent sources of telling you who likes you and what upset him, turned him off, scared him, whatever. I love a guy's perspective when it comes to relationships.
