DevinGirl
Well-known member
This is David, Devin's husband. Yes the infamous Dave!
So yes I understand where everyone's opinions are coming from. I understand where Eighmii's boyfriend is coming from because that is how I felt in the beginning of Devin & my relationship. She wanted a threesome first, & then to just be with a girl without me. It was very confusing for me. My past relationships consisted of nothing but pure retardedness. My opinion on marriage at the time was that it wasn't for me & I wasn't going to do it. Mainly because of my upbringing & the shit I saw & experienced.
So naturally when Devin wanted to do these things, I didn't get it & I just didn't want to get it. Well, I drug her through the mud & made her feel like shit a lot of times. It was a lot of wasted arguing. Four years later, I have had, how you say...a change of heart. This is all about growing up & learning new things. I'm 27 years old & I've seen some crazy shit in my life. To be 21 years old in a foreign land (I was in the Army) in a time of war searching for bombs was an experience. Being 20 years old before the Army, & a constant partier (I partied enough to get kicked the fuck out of college) was also an experience.
I had a very distorted image of relationships & women, partly due, once again, to my upbringing. So now, like I said, 4 years later - I've had a change of heart. I've learned what I want for myself. Something I never got a change to do growing up. Everything thing I could ever want/have is in Devin. It's just now I view sex a little different. I don't think there's anything wrong if Devin wants to have an experience again with a woman. Shit, I think she deserves it with everything that she's been through. I think if we would have gotten divorced it would have been when we were living in a 17 year old's bedroom at my fathers, who is a mentally abusive manipulative lying sack of shit. Which unfortunatly, Devin had to see as well.
I think our breaking point would have been when we were so fucking poor we had to take sleeping pills during the day b/c we didn't have any food. I regret us ever arguing over threesomes or anything like that. It was a waste of time. Now in our lives we are a lot better off. I got my own business, our apartment's nice & expensive, & Robert (my son) will be here this summer forever. I have learned also that the majority of marriages that fail is over sex and/or money. Sex & money. Sex & money. Sex & money. That is so fucking stupid to me. Devin being with a woman is extremely different from Devin being with a guy. I just want there to be trust & honesty. Which you can't have if the other person (me) is making the other person (Devin) feel like shit for how she feels.
I am so happy that Devin has found this website to be able to vent to you girls. I think that's awesome. I want her to come into her own. I want her to be comfortable with who she is. I want her to think chicks are hot! Now, my big question is...knowing how comfortable I am with everything - what should I do with about how I feel about what I want? Because it seems to be from reading your posts nobody is ever a fan of threesomes, other than the guy. I know Devin doesn't want to do anything like that. So, I know I'll never ever push her into anything like that. It defeats the whole purpose. I would want her to be there. Plus, I don't want to be a creepy couple that you see hitting up escort services just to get another woman who doesn't want to be there.
So, I'm stuck. Because I've never had a threesome before. & I guess to be 100% honest, just like everyone used to tell me before I got my '65 Ford (today) everyone used to tell me that "There's nothing special about having an old car. I've had so many." Well fuck...I wanted to experience it for me. I wanted to be the one to decide what I do & don't like. & now that I have one (old car) I LOVE it. I know everybody says about threesomes - don't do it, it's not worth it, it's a waste of time...but like the old car (I know it's not the same thing) I just want to experience shit for myself for once. I want to be the judge of my own life.
Devin & I had very different pasts. She did a lot of things that I'll never know what it's like to do. As, I did a lot of things she'll never know what it's like to do. But if she wanted to run right out & join the army, I would totally support it. I just don't want to feel like a bad guy or like a pervert just because I find something really appealing. I don't think anything is lacking from my marriage. & I would never do anything to jeopardize my marriage. Devin is way too rad of a chick. You have no idea how cool Devin is - it's ridiculous. We have everything in common. We're both hot, & we both like horror movies. What more do you need?
So, in conclusion...I just need some help in figuring out what I'm supposed to do about me. Now that I've 'completely gone the polar opposite" as Devin said, I just need some help. Because I feel so much better, now, with being open with everything, than I did trying to repress everything. Thanks for letting me rant.
P.S. As far as your situation goes, Eighmii...I think you guys just need to keep talking. To be 100% honest, I can see where your both coming from. But I think, to be honest, that he should chill. If you sleep with another woman & you guys break up over it & don't get back together...then maybe it wasn't meant to be. As shitty as that sounds - that could be just it. I think that in life you only live once. You should be able to experience what you want with boundaries & control. Guys are too fucking dominant as it is. They're always: "Me. Me. Me".
If you want to sleep with a woman because he can't do what a woman can...so what? It's not like you're a prostitute, blowing guys in dark alleys for beer money. I think it'd be hot as shit, if Devin did some dirty deeds with a deliciously decadent diva & then came home & said: "Guess what I just did with this deliciously decadent diva?" That's hot. & fun. The way I look at it now is that I'm going to be with Devin for 60 to 80 fucking years. 'Till I'm dead. So why can't we have some fucking fun? Eighmii...have some fucking fun. You live once. You're not hurting children, you're not getting people killed, you're having sex with women. I don't see the problem.
You all are rad.
So naturally when Devin wanted to do these things, I didn't get it & I just didn't want to get it. Well, I drug her through the mud & made her feel like shit a lot of times. It was a lot of wasted arguing. Four years later, I have had, how you say...a change of heart. This is all about growing up & learning new things. I'm 27 years old & I've seen some crazy shit in my life. To be 21 years old in a foreign land (I was in the Army) in a time of war searching for bombs was an experience. Being 20 years old before the Army, & a constant partier (I partied enough to get kicked the fuck out of college) was also an experience.
I had a very distorted image of relationships & women, partly due, once again, to my upbringing. So now, like I said, 4 years later - I've had a change of heart. I've learned what I want for myself. Something I never got a change to do growing up. Everything thing I could ever want/have is in Devin. It's just now I view sex a little different. I don't think there's anything wrong if Devin wants to have an experience again with a woman. Shit, I think she deserves it with everything that she's been through. I think if we would have gotten divorced it would have been when we were living in a 17 year old's bedroom at my fathers, who is a mentally abusive manipulative lying sack of shit. Which unfortunatly, Devin had to see as well.
I think our breaking point would have been when we were so fucking poor we had to take sleeping pills during the day b/c we didn't have any food. I regret us ever arguing over threesomes or anything like that. It was a waste of time. Now in our lives we are a lot better off. I got my own business, our apartment's nice & expensive, & Robert (my son) will be here this summer forever. I have learned also that the majority of marriages that fail is over sex and/or money. Sex & money. Sex & money. Sex & money. That is so fucking stupid to me. Devin being with a woman is extremely different from Devin being with a guy. I just want there to be trust & honesty. Which you can't have if the other person (me) is making the other person (Devin) feel like shit for how she feels.
I am so happy that Devin has found this website to be able to vent to you girls. I think that's awesome. I want her to come into her own. I want her to be comfortable with who she is. I want her to think chicks are hot! Now, my big question is...knowing how comfortable I am with everything - what should I do with about how I feel about what I want? Because it seems to be from reading your posts nobody is ever a fan of threesomes, other than the guy. I know Devin doesn't want to do anything like that. So, I know I'll never ever push her into anything like that. It defeats the whole purpose. I would want her to be there. Plus, I don't want to be a creepy couple that you see hitting up escort services just to get another woman who doesn't want to be there.
So, I'm stuck. Because I've never had a threesome before. & I guess to be 100% honest, just like everyone used to tell me before I got my '65 Ford (today) everyone used to tell me that "There's nothing special about having an old car. I've had so many." Well fuck...I wanted to experience it for me. I wanted to be the one to decide what I do & don't like. & now that I have one (old car) I LOVE it. I know everybody says about threesomes - don't do it, it's not worth it, it's a waste of time...but like the old car (I know it's not the same thing) I just want to experience shit for myself for once. I want to be the judge of my own life.
Devin & I had very different pasts. She did a lot of things that I'll never know what it's like to do. As, I did a lot of things she'll never know what it's like to do. But if she wanted to run right out & join the army, I would totally support it. I just don't want to feel like a bad guy or like a pervert just because I find something really appealing. I don't think anything is lacking from my marriage. & I would never do anything to jeopardize my marriage. Devin is way too rad of a chick. You have no idea how cool Devin is - it's ridiculous. We have everything in common. We're both hot, & we both like horror movies. What more do you need?
So, in conclusion...I just need some help in figuring out what I'm supposed to do about me. Now that I've 'completely gone the polar opposite" as Devin said, I just need some help. Because I feel so much better, now, with being open with everything, than I did trying to repress everything. Thanks for letting me rant.
P.S. As far as your situation goes, Eighmii...I think you guys just need to keep talking. To be 100% honest, I can see where your both coming from. But I think, to be honest, that he should chill. If you sleep with another woman & you guys break up over it & don't get back together...then maybe it wasn't meant to be. As shitty as that sounds - that could be just it. I think that in life you only live once. You should be able to experience what you want with boundaries & control. Guys are too fucking dominant as it is. They're always: "Me. Me. Me".
If you want to sleep with a woman because he can't do what a woman can...so what? It's not like you're a prostitute, blowing guys in dark alleys for beer money. I think it'd be hot as shit, if Devin did some dirty deeds with a deliciously decadent diva & then came home & said: "Guess what I just did with this deliciously decadent diva?" That's hot. & fun. The way I look at it now is that I'm going to be with Devin for 60 to 80 fucking years. 'Till I'm dead. So why can't we have some fucking fun? Eighmii...have some fucking fun. You live once. You're not hurting children, you're not getting people killed, you're having sex with women. I don't see the problem.
You all are rad.
