Don't Know What To Do...

[mariecinder]

So I have two different problems here and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about either.

The first, I just broke up with my boyfriend. This is our second time breaking up. The first time was my fault, I got attention from another guy that I thought was better, broke up with my bf, slept with the other guy, then wanted my boyfriend back. My bf found out about me sleeping with the other guy and despite how hard it was we worked through it and were happy for a few months. A few days ago we had a fight and basically broke it off again. At first I was relieved because of the freedom but now I'm starting to feel really lonely. My ex-bf is a wonderful guy and has always treated me wonderfully but sometimes I just think he isn't what I'm looking for. But again when I start to feel really lonely I think about and miss him...I don't know what to do.

The second, is this new guy. I just started crushing on him and thought he was really sweet. He works in the local supermartket and I work in the bank inside of it. I messaged him one day on myspace and mentioned that I loved coffee so the next day he brought me Starbucks. That was so sweet and I've never had a guy do that for me before. So that fueled the crush a bit more. We've been sending messages via myspace for a few days but everytime I suggest hanging out, he has other plans. He just recently gave me his cell and I sent him a few texts but he stopped returning them. And I've stopped getting myspace messages as well. *sigh* So I'm totally bummed and down because I thought he might be somewhat interested but now I think he's definietly not. And its left me really depressed and self loathing (sad and stupid, I know).

So...I'm a little lost and confused. Not sure what I'm doing or how I feel as I'm a little torn between the two problems. Venting helped me a little so thanks so much to anyone who bothers to read or give a little advice. I'd really appreicate it.

 

[MsCuppyCakes]

Venting is always good. Give yourself some time to be by yourself. It's okay to date and if you and your ex are meant to be you'll find your way back to one another.

 

[mariecinder]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsCuppyCakes Venting is always good. Give yourself some time to be by yourself. It's okay to date and if you and your ex are meant to be you'll find your way back to one another.

Thank you.

I do want to date a bit but right now me self esteem is in the toilet and I think that no one will be interested...

 

[frocher]

 

[MsCuppyCakes]

I understand that, but I really think if you believe/think that about yourself you'll draw that energy to you. Everyday do something for yourself. You'll start to feel better. Your'e awesome and until you believe it no one else will.

 

[CantAffordMAC]

You just sound confused right now. It sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship. I don't think its good to keep leading your ex on. It sounds like you're relieved that you broke up, because you can flirt/talk to other guys, and then when you are by yourself you start getting lonely. But it might not be true loneliness for your ex, maybe you just miss him because you guys were together for awhile and you don't really know anything else.

About the second guy. Maybe he really did get busy? But maybe he is playing hard to get. Bringing you coffee is sweet, but are you sure you're ready to give up what you had with your ex-boyfriend for that?I can understand crushes and the excitement of something new, but if you really are getting these butterflies and crushing on other guys, I'd say you aren't ready for a relationship at all. It sounds like you just want to date and have fun (and theres nothing wrong with that, as long as you're honest with yourself). if you start talking to someone else, and start notice that breaking up/going out with someone new is becoming a trend, then it sounds like a relationship isn't right for you at this time.

And another thing...don't feel sad and depressed because of one freakin boy. If he doesn't want to talk to you anymore, just move on. It sounds like he was playing hard to get or something. And the only advice I have is to play it right back. You know, if he messages you/texts you, don't message him for a few days, act busy, etc. He's on your time, not the other way around.

And I agree with MsCuppyCakes: if you and your ex are meant to be together, it'll happen. Just be honest, and don't force anything. Good luck girl!

 

[mariecinder]

Thank you!! That is essentially the same reason of thought that I have going through my head...it helped a lot to hear it from someone else. I know there are tons of guys out there and I hate feeling negitive because I think it will just scare away guys that are interested. I'm trying to stay positive.

 

[NaturallyME]

I'm dealing with something sort of similar rite now except that im currently talking to two of my exes.
The boy i was with up until recently sort of won me over from my other ex after we started experencing problems in our relationship. Now my past ex is back into my life and we're talking again like we used to. I kind of feel guilty because they are complete opposites and i wish i could almost combine the two

im greedy. But I've been honest with both of them and let them know that i dont want a relationship rite now.. i need some me time. They both know i talk to other people but my more recent ex does'nt know who

(i gotta work on that)
So.. i said all that to say this take your time and find out what it is you really want, and if that person cares enough for you they'll be understading of your need to find yourself and if not LET EM GO.
I know that loneliness sets in but try to look on the bright side slap on that MAC and some cute heels and work the hell outta what u got girl. Cause theres TOO MANY OUT THERE!

 

[mariecinder]

lol Thank you so much! That made me smile. That's the attitude I'm trying to keep.

 

[lovejt*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantAffordMAC You just sound confused right now. It sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship.

Agreed. You shouldn't play around with other people's feelings if you can't work out your own. You need to find out what it is that you want before you get into relationships. Play around, have fun, get the confidence you're seeking and you'll find out what it is exactly that you like and want in a man.

Then you can choose on your own without the dramas.

Relationships should be fun too. They shouldn't be too hard. Like someone else said, if you're meant to be with your ex-bf, you'll be back together. But that's when you've worked out that he's the one.

 

[mariecinder]

And if he doesn't want me back then its definietly not meant to be. Thank you lovejt*

 

[lovejt*]

No worries. Hope it works out for you

Feel happier! You should be happy in your relationships

 

[User49]

I say give yourself a bit of time to clear your head. Just give yourself some time to get over previous bf and have a bit of fun with some friends and having your you time back. Don't just jump into the next relationship as easy as it is to do. And it sounds like this starbucks guy (shall we call him) is into you but you just need to play the dating games. Games are crap but that's somehow how it all works. But I think u need to give yourself a bit of space from it all. Hope that helps a bit? xx

 

[Honey B. Fly]

dont try too hard looking for a new guy, i swear the good ones always pop out of nowhere