Enough is Enough !!!

[Pascal]

I have had it with my mom treating me like I am a 5 year old. She doesn't do it all the time but maybe 1/3 of the time I'm around her. I am 23 years old not 5 years old. I feel sometimes she has no respect for me nor for my dad. I think the reason she yells, screams, cusses and raises her voice is because it's the only way she knows how to communicate her feeling of anger or sadness. She will sometimes spit out hurtful words that she thinks are justified for the way she feels. When she is really mad at me she tells me I'm fat, ugly, stupid, and a nothing. She really hurt my feeling this weekend. I spent a majority of it crying and being sad. On Friday night @ 10:30 P.M. she asked me to heat up sme afcial wax for her. I told her that I was doing my facial waxing on Staurday and she can wait, but no she didn't want to. So I heated it up for her anyways. Then as I was reaching in the microwave to get the hot wax my hand hit something and the hot wax spilled all over the fridge, cabinets and floor. Well then I told her what had happened and that I was going to clean it all up. She came out and saw what happened, and started yelling " Your unbelievable, what the hell is wrong with you, this is not a mistake that a girl at your age would make". I told her that things happen and that she shouldn't worry I was going to stay up and clean it and that it was a terrible mistake. So as I started cleaning it she was saying mean stuff to me like " what are you even here for, you are fat, stupid, useless, what is your reason for being alive, go and die. She said all of those things to me. So I just sat there like a dog and took it. She really hurt my feeling. So I cleaned up and went to bed. My finger tips were killing me. Then the next morning she came in and said that she was sorry, and that I should be more careful next time, so I hugged her because I love her and I don't want to fight. But I was still hurt at the things she said to me. Usually on Saturday's we go out shopping and stuff, but I felt like fucking shit so we didn't go shopping like we would have on other Saturdays. So Sunday morning I was eating a bowl of milk with cereal. Then she said to me " Pascal don't let your spoon keep hitting the bottom of the bowl" I'm like ok mom. Then she said it again , so I got mad and intimidated her, then she said I was causing a propblem. I told her to stop treating me like I was a 5 year old. Then 20 minutes later she was eating a bowl of milk and cereal and she accidently hit her spoon in the bottom of the bowl, and I said " See you hit your spoon did I yell at you like you are five years old"? She said " Are you starting a problem"? I said no but realize that I don't treat you like your 5 years old and I don't get annoyed with little hings you do. Then she told me to take my ugly face away from her. I told her " you know what, whatever you were planning on doing today do it by yourself, I'm not going anywhere with someone who has no respect for me". Then I went to my room and balled my eyes out and fell asleep. I woke up an hour later and decided this is not how my Sunday is going to be I'm not letting her ruin my day. So I got up and took a shower I was trying to do my hair and she said, " Where are you going, are you planning on leaving me and going somewhere all on your own?" I said " I'm not staying home I want to go out today so I'm getting ready and then after your done doing what your doing you can get ready and we can go out some where". She said " what were you doing in your room" I said " I was crying because of all the hurtful things you said to me, but I'm not letting that ruin my day, so I'm going out". Her response was " oh really crying in your room because of what I said to you, well good then I will make sure that I say more things to hurt you so you can cry and not go anywhere". I just brushed my hair grabbed my keys and left. I told her to stay home alone with that attitude and sleep alone at night with no one home. I went to the cemetary where all the lucky dead people rest in peace and wished I was one of them, at least if I were dead, I wouldn't have to feel happy nor sad. Then after 30 minutes at the cemetary I went to the mall and went shopping, it was the only thing I could do anyways. I spent the day all alone with no one to talk to nothing to do no where to go, that's my fucking life besides living at home and being treated with no respect.










I told my mom she has no respect for the people she lives with, she slanders us at home she cusses at us and when I ask her why she acts that way when she's mad or why she says hurtful things her answer is " Oh well did I just come up to you and cuss at you or didn't you do something in order for me to cuss at you"? What the fuck kind of logic is that ? so she pretty much has a justified reason to disrespect me and my dad just because she's mad at us. Her side of the family is like that, their only communication skills when they are mad is to yell, cuss and be out of control in raising their voices. I feel it is unhealthy for me to live with someone who I feel is disrespectful to me. Also she goes to the mall and comes back, she talks about how pretty all the girls are there and how flawless they look and on and on, wel that's fine with me I appreciate beauty too, but don't rbring other girls up and say how beautiful and perfect they are and then when your mad at me do the exact opposite and put me down, and tell me I'm fat, ugly and useless. Just don't say anything hurtful about me. But no not her, she's a bitch, she's going through menopause so my father and I have to deal with her fucking bullshit. I am so upset and confused in my life right now.


I am not going to school at the moment, I have always depended on my parents for financial support and I work for my dad so I'm pretty much all set, and to them I'm a lady in waiting. As soon as my dad gets back from Lebanon, I am going to tell him about my plans to go to beauty school part time and I will keep working for him part time, because I do like my job too. When I told my mom this morning of my plans she said, " Well good for you, but do you think that your going to make more money then your making now"? It's not really about money to me right now, It's about being happy and feeling proud that I will have accomplished something for me. Not for her or for anyone else but me. She thinks I'm lazy and useless, well I don't need her motivation to be sucessful at anything, she will always continue to try to make me feel like working for the family business is all I am capable of but she's very wrong. I am youg, I am capable and I am willing to break down these barriers of self doubt and negativity.


I'm not saying my mother is a bad woman or that I hate her and want something to happen to her, all I am saying is lately she has been really rude and unbelievable lately. So I need to go to school get away from her and do what I enjoy. I cannot live with her or tolerate to live with her in this manner so that's why I want to go to school to fill up my time and accomplish something, and I'm not a waste of a human life.

 

[Hawkeye]

Lord have mercy. Sounds like your mom really needs some help.

*HUGS* Sorry you have to go through all that

 

[Lalli]

maybe shes just stressed about things, especially with your father being away aswell. it is had when your own parents say things like that but crying isnt the answer, next time shes moody or something go out for a walk, avoid answering back and just calm yourself. the more you answer back the more she'll think oh shes disrespecting me i'll carry on saying stuff to her. dont lose hope, when ya dad gets back talk to him about beauty school and do what you wana do. dont let it get to you. she obviously dont mean it. if shes saying sorry also. dont get upset hun xx

 

[Wattage]

My mom is a whack nut, too. Breathe. I know you are wondering who the parent and the child really is...

The only thing that has worked for me is:

1. Being honest with her
2. Distance. Moving out did wonders

 

[Pascal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wattage My mom is a whack nut, too. Breathe. I know you are wondering who the parent and the child really is... The only thing that has worked for me is: 1. Being honest with her 2. Distance. Moving out did wonders

Yes I need to move out, but I have no money saved up and I have no furniture and there are so many other issues that would have to be dealt with. She even tries to tell me she wants me to leave and never come back, but it never really holds water, plus my dad wouldn't let her kick me out.




I'm not an out of control young adult that's screwing around, drinking, getting high or partying, I'm a really good girl, I'm not even allowed to really have a relationship with any guys that I meet, It's out of the question because they won't approve and I am not in the mood to hear them bitch about who I'm dating or anything like I have enough to deal with that so that's mostly why I'm single not really cause I want to be alone. But I can understand that they only want the best for me too.


Just everything is confusing to me I don't know if I've been brain washed or if kids are brainwashed by their parents I truly think we are all brainwashed to believe only what our parents say, they say things to protect us of course I know that but it's emotionally unhealthy.


I just hate life right now, Yesterday while I was at Nordstroms I was sitting upstairs on the balcony, level 3 at the Cafe', and I was seriously wanting to just jump off the edge of the balcony and take my chances, hopefully I would die and when I looked down it looked promising. But I didn't do it, suicide is like the easiest way out, sometimes it seems like the ONLY way out.
:shrug:

 

[mac_goddess]

Could there possibly be a mental problem tied in? Not trying to be rude, but this sounds like my MIL.

Have you tried talking to your father about this?

Some people have such low self esteem that they take on the bully attitude, regardless if they talk smack in front of your face or behind your back. Sad.

Sounds to me like it's such a toxic relationship, that your better off without it until she can calm down. The way I treat my MIL, who used to make me cry as well, is that she's got mental problems and almost can't help it. Therefore I refuse to speak to her, because there's no point.

I've also dropped friends like this, who have nothing better to do but talk about one behind their back.

Life is short, and for me it's too short to spend having fake relationships with people.

 

[cloverette]

pascal, i feel with you. i went through lots of dramas with my mother, too- especially in the end of my teens/beginning of my twenties. it's tough. i don't want to give you any advice, as what a person does always depends on his/her situation; and he/she has to deal with the consequences later on. i moved out (more like- ran away) & it weakened the relationship to my family- it hurts, as we used to be very close-knit. but it was my choice, and i have to deal with it. at the same time, i have the freedom i wanted... and even though everything changed so much after all the mess, we still all love each other.

 

[Pascal]

we actually have a great relationship, but she sometimes snaps and is very irrational, depression runs in the family and so does tempers, I do not have a temper but she does, when I was a teenager it wasn't even this dramatic. She started out doin good in the beginning of the year and ever since april she has just been off balance and expects my father and I to just deal with it, but how much can I tolerate, I am not a wall I am a fucking human, I hurt I cry and I feel things. When she's mad she talks to me like I'm a wall that cannot feel a damn thing.

 

[Pascal]

Unbelievable woman

that mother of mine is unbelievable man. This morning she was outside feeding the birds and I opened the window behind her to say hi to her. She got startled and yelled at me again. This time she only told me to buzz off. Then about 5 minutes later she didn't know I could hear what she was saying, but I heard her say " you have always been stupid, and you will always be stupid". So I continued getting ready for work. Then on my way out of the front door she was washing the side of the house and I kind of slammed the door but not intentionally, she called me a bitch out loud like 20 times, I swear man when I got in my car and drove away my windows were rolled up and I could still here her yelling bitch to me.



This is the type of person that is uncontrolable in her actions when she is upset, I love my mom so much but when she expresses her anger it's too much for me to handle. I really need to get away from her. I just want my dad to come back here like now so I can sit down and just talk to him. Sometimes when I tell him of all the things she says to me he just says " well you know that's the way your mom is, just let her be and stay out of her way, she'll be fine later on today". Why does he allow himself to put up with her ? I swear man if she wasn't my mom I would tell her to shut the fuck up and and to go fuck her self and to kiss my big ass too. Then I would take off and never talk to a bitch like her again. But I can't do all that instead I have to just DEAL WITH IT.

This is a time in my life when I need to be enjoying it. Living happily and having normal problems a girl my age would have not dealing with my mom who is so childlike and throws fits here and there. Life is so unfair sometimes.


When I had like really major depression and I would cry at home in my room, she would say " your not allowed to cry in my house stop making everyone so deppressed alng with you, if you want to cry then leave my house now". So I went to the doctor and got medicine (prozac), well I told her that it might be something that might help me feel better and not cry so much. All she can say to me was " what do you need medicine for, there's nothing wrong with you, you are healthy and everything, when you were born there was nothing wrong with your brain, why the hell is there something wrong with it now? If your going to take antidepressants then leave my house now, I won't allow crazy people to stay here in my house"


The ironic thing with her and meds is that she had to take XANAX and Trofranil to help her with her anxiety attacks, and she took those for I can't even remember how long, I was too young to clearly remember, but all that matters is that they helped her and now she doesn't really need them anymore.

When we go shopping she goes into the LUCKY BRAND STORE for like 30-45 minutes and I just go look around at something else to keep myself busy, I don't mind how long she stays in the store because I know she loves that store so much, so whatever makes my mom happy is fine with me. But yet when I go to the MAC Couner and she's with me she rushes my out of looking, or if I'm in another store she's like "Come one we have to go, look at it some other time" So yeah I just leave whatever it was I was looking at. She doesn't always do this but when she does I feel like she's selfish.

 

[Pascal]

little turd !!!

well my mom aka TURD called me this mornign and I told her to take out the bug that has crawled up her ass and died she said ok, so I guess we're fine, but she's still a TURD.

 

[Another Janice!]

Awe honey. I wanna reach through the screen and all the miles and give you a big hug....then we can play in makeup together.

What would happen if you spoke to her the way she does you? What would she do? She seems to be quite a bully.

 

[quandolak]

...........

 

[Pascal]

well just to let everyone know my mom and I are doing better now, she's just an ass sometimes and I call her that to her face and she agrees that she is an ass sometimes, I love the little brat, she's only 4 feet 9 inches, and I swear she's like Napolean when he ruled over Europe, he was short and bossy just like her. But I love her anyways.

 

[Another Janice!]

Of course you love her honey. She's your mom.

Come vent to us anytime. Heaven's only knows that its only a matter of time before one of my family members pisses me off and ya'll get to hear about it!!!

 

[bAbY_cHiCkEn01]

MOVE OUT! Your right, you don't havr to put up with shit and be disrespected by anyone, ESPECIALLY your mother... Hey babe! I moved to another country with NO money and NO furniture, you can do it, believe me, you CCAN do it, so I really think you should bite the bullet and do it. There is utterly NO excuse for her behaviour and to be honest, (but please don't take this too personally this is just my thought) I can't see how you can love somebody that hurts your feelings so bad, even if it is your mother. Shes a bully and obviously gets off on it. You need to leave her to develop some self esteem. Your 23 youre more capaable than what you think

 

[ExquisiteImages]