Feelin' better =)

[DevinGirl]

To those of you who did read my long & seemingly never ending post yesterday, I appreciate all of your comments & private messages. I just got a little chicken sh*t about having that stuff on here. Someone brought up a point that people might associate my son with how he was conceived & not to so readily post info concerning that. It really struck me. I never thought anyone could affiliate him with how he came to be. It's a pretty awful thought...but probably a true one. So, while I felt better after I wrote...I'd die before I thought I had something to do with anybody thinking of my son in a negative way because of what happened. That & I guess it was a lot of personal info to just 'put out there' so to speak.

I do have a job. I work in a little store inside of a hospital. I rent/sell breastpumps & accessories (nursing bras, etc.) to new parents. It's quiet, easy, & is the best paying job I've held. I have a lot of time to myself & get to browse specktra for hours on end. Can't go wrong there, right? Doesn't help much in the way of associating with people. All of the nurses here are harried, bitchy, & really brash with me. So, I'm tired of getting tramped on by them, so I really don't talk to them much & keep to myself. The new mommies that come in are in such a mixture of emotions: joyful, tired, frustrated, proud, etc. They're all over the place so I just try to be as helpful as I can & not stress them out. They've got enough to work with without me trying to ask them to be my friend, lol. I do what I can. Help them out to their cars, watch they're babies when they try on bras, talk to them on the phone long after they're questions are answered.

I think I'll do some research to see what sort of groups are available here. I LOVE to make my own jewelry, so maybe there's a beading group or something. I want to take classes, but I want to do that after Robert comes to live with us permanently. Godwilling that'll be by this summer. It's just hard to focus on stuff like school when I'm constantly worried & hoping for his safety. Just things in general I think will be much better once he's with me. My heart can be fully at ease.

I thank you all for reading & being so supportive. *wipes a tiny tear*

-Devin​

 

[n_c]

Re: **SIGH** (This is long...sorry)

...so sorry to hear about all the awful experiences u've been through...hope everything turns out well for you and ur son.

 

[MsCuppyCakes]

Re: **SIGH** (This is long...sorry)

PM'd ya.

 

[Raerae]

Re: **SIGH** (This is long...sorry)

It is hard to find friends. I totally feel yah on that one. Especially ones where you have more than just your, "job" in common. Since those in my expierence typically end once someone leaves. Although I've made a few long lasting friendships out of work friends.

But yeh it is REALLY hard.

My adivce, and I know it's gonna seem obvious (it wasn't too me at the time though) is break up your life patterns. Were all guilty of getting in a rut with our lives and doing the same things. We get up, get ready, go to work, do chores, go home etc. And we become, "regulars" in our own lives. We know everyone who's going to be at our, "typical" hangouts. We've seen them all before, and chances are, if your not friends with them today, your not going to be friends with them tomorrow.

So you have to break up the regular. If you work out at 1 gym, go to another gym you dont normally go too. Even if it's a farther drive. If you run for exercise, change up your, "regular" spot, and go run somewhere else, preferably one with lots of other runners, and start introducing yourself and find a running partner. Get involved in things like dance classes, or other, "group" activities that you normally woulnd't make time for, but see yourself interested in. Etc Etc.

The point is, you have to make yourself availible to new people, if you want to meet newfriends. You sound like a wonderful person, who just is wrapped up in your own life atm. You just need to make a little time for some new things. Even if it means giving up some of your current hobbies to make time for new ones.

 

[Ms. Z]

Re: **SIGH** (This is long...sorry)

PM'd you.

 

[Shimmer]

Re: **SIGH** (This is long...sorry)

Raerae's got good advice.
You also may consider volunteering, joining women's groups, etc.
Volunteering as a 'big sister' or something similar may let you meet people who share similar interests and give you the fulfillment of doing good at the same time.
Just a thought.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Re: **SIGH** (This is long...sorry)

So sorry that you have to go through this... Making friends is hard. I take classes in interests of mine (dance specifically) to make friends. I enjoy the activity but love the social aspect as well. If you're religious or something like that, church is always an option.

Do you work? If you do, try eating lunch with someone in your workplace.

One of my friends uses meetup.com and loves her meetup group.

If you're looking for people who might understand your situation better, perhaps look into a support group. I've known some people who've gone to them and found friends through that.

It's really difficult to make new friends in a new place, but it isn't impossible. You just have to keep trying.

 

[*Luna*]

Re: **SIGH** (This is long...sorry)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer Raerae's got good advice. You also may consider volunteering, joining women's groups, etc. Volunteering as a 'big sister' or something similar may let you meet people who share similar interests and give you the fulfillment of doing good at the same time. Just a thought.

You should volunteer for Big Brothers Big Sisters. I work for the one in Central Arizona and I know they have a program in Florida. =) I'm gonna PM you about that and a couple other things =)

 

[kaliraksha]

Re: **SIGH** (This is long...sorry)

I don’t have any great advice for you honestly. Sorry. If I had it I would hopefully be taking it myself. Just wanting to let you know that I’m in the same boat of trying to find some decent girlfriends or couples or group of friends- anything. I understand that daydream all too well and how lonely it can feel. I know it’s cliché but maybe join a dance class or like a photo manipulation group that interests you- common interests are a great place to start with friends. Work? Your hubby’s work friends wives or girlfriends? Arrange dinner parties?

 

[saniyairshad]

Re: .

Hon I think u edited ur post...but whatever it is I hope u feel better

 

[Shimmer]

Re: .

I'm going to leave this here because there was some good advice in it, others may take something from it.

 

[Raerae]

Re: .

Quote:

Originally Posted by DevinGirl I guess in retrospect, I feel a bit silly about posting this. Mods - you can delete if you want.

Nothing silly about what you posted. It's a lot more common than you think.

 

[kaliraksha]

Re: .

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae Nothing silly about what you posted. It's a lot more common than you think.

I have to agree. Just wanting to let you know that it was totally okay for you to post and let it out and I appreciate your bravery in sharing your story with us.

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Re: .

I read this post yesterday and wanted to comment but I was way busy at work so I wanted to get back to you.

Sorry you've been having such a hard time, I know it's hard to find people that are on your level. So I wanted to ask you, do you work? What do you do on your spare time? Maybe try getting a part time job at the mall or somewhere you like to shop. I've made some of my best friends working at a clothing store at a mall, not to mention you get great discounts lol. Also, maybe try taking a class of some sort, again doing something you love doing. I was in fashion school for awhile and met some great people who loved to do the same things I like to do.

Just a though! Don't worry hun, your friend making time will come sooner or later. But remember, if you need to talk, were here for you

 

[DevinGirl]

You are all incredible & I think you for caring enough to think of me & respond!

 

[Raerae]

Looking at your son, he is a handsome young man. And anyone who would ever say the contrary is a terrible person. Everything happens for a reason, and I have no doubt that the love he has brought into your life, and all the future love/happiness will far out weight the single negative moment.

 

[Beauty Mark]

People who judge your son because of his conception should be punched.

Have you considered taking your son to a playgroup or something like that? One of my friends has a child and has been making friends with the mothers that way.

 

[DevinGirl]

Thanks again you all

So uplifting!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark People who judge your son because of his conception should be punched. Have you considered taking your son to a playgroup or something like that? One of my friends has a child and has been making friends with the mothers that way.

Once he's here with me permanently (this summer, I pray!) then we'll definitely be doing all sorts of fun stuff like that. My mother isn't the greatest role model for him & he's got all sorts of bad habits & he can be downright unfriendly & competitive to a point of destruction. So once we get all adjusted that's something we'll HAVE to be a part of. I just want him to see that being there isn't there is. He's willing to let me prove to him I can be his mother in life (not just on his birth certificate) & I know it will all turn out okay. Thanks for the suggestion!