Finally deleted his number

[Goat Goat Etc.]

I've had a friend with benefits for over a year, yesterday made one year. But, of course, he was only a friend when he wanted the benefits. Didn't want to hangout or do anything fun any other time. It was always from my house to his and that's it. And when he's dated someone he'd act like I'd sabotage the relationship and not take my calls or texts.

The end of 2009 he's been chummier than usual cause of the holidays and new years I guess. So maybe the beginning of this month I thought he was taking a bigger and better step to being my friend by accepting my friend request on facebook. It sat in limbo for days till he added me. He'd just gotten into a relationship and his gf was on facebook, so I thought he was growing up when he added me--my old nasty man was growing up I told myself. The first, last, and only thing I post on his page is a humorous GOP cartoon from Current.....which he deleted in hours.

So I fucking had it, the next evening I unfriend him and I guess two weeks from that day, today, his number is gone.

 

[gildedangel]

Good for you! If he can't grow up and get over it, then it is time to move on to better men!

 

[KeishaG14]

My motto is if the person doesn't add to my life, then they take away. Good for you!

 

[kelly2509t]

Good for you girl! There's someone better out there for ya

 

[Simply Elegant]

That was a great decision. The benefits were really only for him.

 

[Junkie]

I was in the exact situation...his new [psycho] gf even added me from his msn account and blasted me about being "a slut" - apparently he told her about me. Same thing happened with facebook - I deleted him and told him off when he tried to re-add me to msn months later (after they broke up). I have a fiance now - 5 years later

Haven't spoken to the douchebag since!

Good riddance!

 

[Goat Goat Etc.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Junkie I was in the exact situation...his new [psycho] gf even added me from his msn account and blasted me about being "a slut" - apparently he told her about me. Same thing happened with facebook - I deleted him and told him off when he tried to re-add me to msn months later (after they broke up). I have a fiance now - 5 years later Haven't spoken to the douchebag since! Good riddance!

Whoa sorry about that, that was really shitty-my fwb had a privacy problem. Wanted to make every convo about himself and about the immediate but never really shared inner things.

But your story gives me hope, I wanna make him feel denied someday--like he's made me feel all this passed year. I wanna be vindicated.

 

[kymym92]

Great going girl!! You are strong!!

 

[MissVanity]

well done! i hate guys that think your some sort of toy they can pick up and play with whenever they see fit! you did the right thing!

 

[dietcokeg]

good woman! nothing like setting yourself free, you wont regret it! your worth alot more!

 

[BeccalovesMAC]

Congrats girl! Dont let someone use you like that. You sound like a cool ass girl. Im sure there are lots of dudes that will treat you like the princess that you are. Good luck

 

[LoveMakeup4Real]

Glad you cut him off and moved on! Seriously, new year, new you. No need to let a man use you like that. You're worth so much more. He's disrespectful to ignore your friend request like that then get back to you when it's convenient for him. He never took you out anyway to treat you like a lady. I've been in something similar. We live and learn. It's tough moving on but so worth it. I dated this guy for almost 2 years and he become tooooo comfortable. I cut him off and never looked back. I still get messages from him, random ones here and there and I simply never respond. He is hella stubborn, he's basically talking to someone invisible, that's how available I've made myself to him-non existent! Lol. I'm wondering when he'll give up. Anyway, please don't give in, it's a trap. When you think about him start to think about how mistreated you were instead, how he never took you out to show you off, to dine you, to enjoy one another's company, only to come to your home and to his to get his pleasure. Nothing positive about that. Associate his name with something negative, it will surely turn you off. I am sure when he is feeling "moody" he will contact you and when he starts to reminisce. Forget it. Bigger and better things will come your way. He's measly. I dislike coward, women-leading men. You did VERY well deleting his number, that was a great start. You're better off on your own until a great man comes your way; in the meantime make it ALL about you, girl!

 

[hello_my_apple]

that wasnt really a friend with benefits, that was a fuck buddy, and you should have kinda guessed he wasnt going to take a step towards being your man. honestly if you guys established your "relationship" as just fucking then why are you surprised that he didnt wanna hang out any other time? when he got a girlfriend what did you honestly expect? and if the shoe was on the other foot, would you want your fuck buddy on your facebook page that you share with your boyfriend? in my opinion this dude did nothing wrong, you got confused with your role. i went on a break with my man for about 8 months and he had a crazy f*kbuddy who wouldnt let it go, he told her our time together was our time together - that's it. i think sometimes we women put ourselves in situation we cannot handle, if you yourself get to emotionally attached to men you have sex with then dont do, if you can then go for it. but you should have neve waited around for him to "mature" you should have did what you did with him and went about your day, i mean cutting the b.s let's be true to thine self here. and i say all of that with love, because i've had this talk with many friends before.

 

[Goat Goat Etc.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple that wasnt really a friend with benefits, that was a fuck buddy, and you should have kinda guessed he wasnt going to take a step towards being your man.

Wow, that has zero to do with what I said or meant but thanks for inventing your own story.

Being my friend, that's the point.

 

[hello_my_apple]

i replied to what you wrote .. i just spoke the truth, you wanted a pat on the back for dropping him? you your self said you thought by him adding you on facebook after months of the request waiting there it was a "bigger step". you just got emotionally involved with someone who clearly only wanted you for one thing, and lets be honest judging from what YOU wrote it seems you wanted more than a friendship.

 

[Goat Goat Etc.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple seems you wanted more than a friendship.

No. Big step to being a better friend...."bigger and better step to being my friend." I'm sorry you want to invent.

And you know what? I DO want a pat on the back for dropping him as a FRIEND.
I want a parade from Central Park to 5th 12 hours long! And rather than be obnoxious, I would have dual perspective and give any and every person that was in my shoes the same.

If you still doubt this, you be Lily Tomlin and I'll be Steve Martin and you can live and remember and actually KNOW what I'm talking about.

 

[hello_my_apple]

well i'm not in your sure remember i have a man, 8 years going i just know girls who have been in situations like you, and they had the same i wanna leave him speech, i'm just not afriad to tell you the very thing you needed to hear and you dont like it. i'm not inventing any story i look at the story from all sides.

 

[LoveMakeup4Real]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple well i'm not in your sure remember i have a man, 8 years going i just know girls who have been in situations like you, and they had the same i wanna leave him speech, i'm just not afriad to tell you the very thing you needed to hear and you dont like it. i'm not inventing any story i look at the story from all sides.

I've been agreeing with you this whole time. Some women act like victims when they knew exactly what the man's intentions were and if not, they finally noticed where the relationship was headed-no where, why act all surprised now?! Anyway, still glad you decided to stop letting him play games with you. Good!

 

[Goat Goat Etc.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple well i'm not in your sure

Clearly you're not in my "sure", so no matter what you insist you still continue not to know--just assume.

Oy Dios Mio, this was not a romantic relationship!! Stop insisting that it was what I was pursuing. I said FRIENDSHIP; it is possible for someone to give you common curiosity in FwB. In what part did I say," I wanna hima asa my MAN?" Never did.

 

[LMD84]

well i think it's great that you have finally got rid of his number!

i think it can be hard and even if it was just friendship when you get used to having somebody like that (friend with benefits) it can be a hard habbit to stop!