Flirting - Am I wrong?

[Raerae]

So like... I seem to have an effect on the clients that I work with. But after working with them for a period of time, they evntually start flirting with me via phone/e-mail. A few have even been as bold as to ask me out directly, or worse, ask my boss if they would tell me to call them ;p

Anyways..

One of our clients has really picked it up a bit recently... And had been very overtly flirting with me. Now normally I wouldn't think twice, as there is nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting. But in this case, I'm a little torn, as he's married, and I know he's married. And he knows i know that he's married. And even made a point in jest to say, "don't tell my wife."

The problem is this. He's a very important client, and we've gone through a bit of a rough spot with his accounts recently. And as much as I feel bad for flirting with him, it makes dealing with him on resolving the past issues SO much easier.

I know i'll never meet him, I've already turned down offers in the past. But am I being bad by having a little fun via e-mail? To make my job easier?

 

[xbeatofangelx]

As long as you're not taking it further, what's the harm in being a little selfish?

Use what you've got!

 

[Raerae]

This was his latest e-mail... I haven't responded...

"Yeah that would work. What do you think? I’m sure you could come up with something really tempting…tell me what you like to wear"

lol...

 

[Shimmer]

You're teetering on a very fine line...be careful.
If he knows there's not a likelihood of it ever becoming anything other than flirty talk, then all's well. If you're leading him on though, and he thinks there might actually be a chance to get into your pants...yeah, there's cause for pause.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer You're teetering on a very fine line...be careful. If he knows there's not a likelihood of it ever becoming anything other than flirty talk, then all's well. If you're leading him on though, and he thinks there might actually be a chance to get into your pants...yeah, there's cause for pause.

Yeh i know. I'm pretty careful in my reply's to keep them in check though...

As far as his last e-mail, my reply was:

"Vera Wang, Valentino, True Religion, Prada, D&G, etc... Typical designer labels"

I try to make sure that i don't send anything suggestive. Since he was obviously hoping that I would give him something more descriptive.

 

[lipstickandhate]

I would NOT NOT NOT get involved in this. What kind of job do you have where married clients feel free to send you suggestive emails and flirt with you?

And I would flay my husband alive if I knew he was sending emails like that to someone who was not me. I'd also give whoever he's sending them to a piece of my mind. Be careful and stop. This is a bad idea and you seem to know it.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lipstickandhate I would NOT NOT NOT get involved in this. What kind of job do you have where married clients feel free to send you suggestive emails and flirt with you?

A normal one.

Ask Shimmer about when she worked in a bridal shop ;p

Quote:

And I would flay my husband alive if I knew he was sending emails like that to someone who was not me. I'd also give whoever he's sending them to a piece of my mind. Be careful and stop. This is a bad idea and you seem to know it.

I'm not as much conscerned with the flirting at work as I am with the he is married part. I dont personally think flirting is cheating, but she might feel otherwise ;p lol

 

[lipstickandhate]

You know how to deal with hysterical women already then. I guess you're prepared!

 

[Raerae]

Haha...

But yeh I can understand how his wife would be pissed if she read his e-mail.

 

[saniyairshad]

Some people just have it in their nature to be overtly flirty and don't know when to draw the line. Sometimes people also think by having that quality means they come off as better people.

 

[ginger9]

Be careful, I'm more concerned about protecting your job/position. What if he wants more and gets upset or nasty if you reject him and puts your job in jeopardy?

Btw, married guys like him are such a turn off.

 

[kaliraksha]

I would be most concerned about your job- like, what if he does make an advance at you and you deny him- will you possibly get disciplined for flirting with the client in the first place if he brings it up to your boss?

I would just slowly and gradually bring it back to up a casual comfortable level that is very open to interpretation.

I wouldn't worry about him being married honestly, I feel it's his responsibility to know what is okay and not okay with his wife. If flirting is okay with you if you were in his or her shoes then I think you are keeping up your end of the commitment- granted, this is just my opinion. In my case, I'm not ok with specific flirting but general flirting is ok. Like my SO can say the same flirty line to any girl and I don't care but if he's spending specific time with 1 person then it's a problem to me.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaliraksha I would be most concerned about your job- like, what if he does make an advance at you and you deny him- will you possibly get disciplined for flirting with the client in the first place if he brings it up to your boss?

I really doubt he'd ever bring it up to my boss anyways...

Could you imagine?

Yeh, i'm married and wanted to have an affair with your assistant, but she said no. Can you do something about that?

LOL

 

[kaliraksha]

Haha but he could lie and say something like "Your assistant has an inappropriate work ethic" in retaliation? But I guess you have email proof =)

 

[Moppit]

I would put a stop to his flirting because it won't lead to anything good. What if he sent you a gift based on you replying to him asking what you like to wear? Then what would you do?

If anyone finds out you will be the one who is looked upon poorly, it always happens that way. I have been there and finally had to tell him that nothing was ever going to happen between us and to save face he said that he only wanted friendship, yah right. At that point I wasn't going to say he was lying because I was very happy that he stopped. To make it worse he is married, I know his wife quite well and they are neighbours. Now he waves or says hello and that is the end of it. I didn't say anything to his wife because she would think that I was pursuing him and it just wasn't worth the hassle.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moppit I would put a stop to his flirting because it won't lead to anything good. What if he sent you a gift based on you replying to him asking what you like to wear? Then what would you do?

lol, I'm a size 0, feel free to shop at Valentino or Vera Wang lol

 

[angi]

There's nothing wrong with a bit of flirting, I use it all the time in my job, and it makes life easier, especially if you are trying to distract the clients from what you are doing/ unhappy experiences/ how long something is taking. However, I do try to only flirt where there is no solid or enduring proof (such as emails) as it makes life so much easier!