Friends Drug Addiction

[EmbalmerBabe]

I have a younger friend who I have taken under my wing through
out the past couple of years. I became close
with her because she is my boyfriends little sister. She is all most 21 and has a drug addiction to cocaine,and also samples various other
substances. All of her friends do it and it seems as though
she is influenced to do it because of the typical it is "coolness" factor. A cheap thrill. I am very busy with my personal and job duties
so it is difficult for me to keep track of her. All though I do worry
about her because she disappears and recently lost her job due to this.
She spent a weekend taking synthetic heroin,ectasy,and coke
and was a no call no show.

She told me she has damaged her nose to a severe degree from consuming massive quantities of cocaine. I told her to remember the scene from Pulp Fiction when Uma Thurman overdoses on coke.
I told her the same thing might happen to her next time she
chooses to do a large amount of coke one night. I have expressed
to her what a waste of her life and health she is taking part in
time and time again. I have told her if she chooses to continue
doing these things she must surely be stupid.
I was with her last night we were sitting alone in her friends room with the door closed.There was a line of coke on the table which was quite large. I quickly brushed all the coke off the table onto the floor with my hand. She looked at me like I was insane and stupid. It really pist
me off that she would give me a look like I am out of line, all she
cares about is the stupid drug. I just wanted to slap her.
Knock some sense into her.
I was so pist at that point, explaining to her that I care about her well being and it seemed as though she was too dense to realize it.
I began crying and got depressed about the issue.
So I just stormed out and left, because she just walked away
as I tried to express that I was only giving a s***.

I hate to say this but I can only see bad things happenining
if this behavior continues. She also drinks and drives quite often
which she does not consider a problem either?!?I will not preach to her because she does not seem to really care. She can be so dense
to put it bluntly. A good person underneath it all, but still travels down this road.What would you do if you were in my position with a friend like this?

 

[BadBadGirl]

You are losing your friend to the addiction. It's not that she doesn't care about what you have to say, it's just that the cravings have taken over. Are you sure there isn't another issue in her life other than just doing coke because it's the cool thing, and she isn't trying to escape something?

You can keep speaking to her- but it is up to her when she will stop. I hate to be pessimistic, but she may have to reach rock bottom before she quits or has to go to rehab. It will be your decision to stick by her and be her support when this happens, or you can go the other route and tell her you will end your friendship if she doesn't quit.

 

[Hawkeye]

Honestly- at this point- you have to let her go.
She has to hit rock bottom before she will even begin to care. And nobody can help her at this point. Nobody.

Quote:

What would you do if you were in my position with a friend like this?

well before we go any further- MAC Pixie I think is going through something very similar and you two may want to talk about how to deal with things and how you each have. That may be a good thing.

NOW

I actually did have a friend like this three friends actually- one friend never did get through it. The other almost didn't either. She hit rock bottom, I mean we're talking some very scary stuff and she needed help and I remember at the college people rushing to my dorm (god knows why they chose me & not the R.A.) to help this person out and I went to this door and I knocked on it and the next thing I knew the door swung open and this person literally came at me. I finally stopped her and dragged her to the shower turned cold water on her and held her there for about five minutes. And I'll never forget looking into her eyes and seeing two different people. Her and the addiction.

She started crying and begging me not have her kicked out (like I seriously would have any authority whatsoever) but I just lost it. I was in a seriously bad mood (Finals), I was tired of this shit happening every night it seemed (or if it wasn't this it was something else), and it was 4 AM. I was not happy. I'll never forget looking her in the eye and basically telling her- this ends right now- I won't have you scaring anyone else because of your selfish behavior and tomorrow morning I'm going to report you and I pray to God you get kicked out of this school.

Now at this point in time I can not believe I actually said that- but the next morning I'm not sure how any of this happened but I woke up and she and her little drug buddies were pleading me not to report her because mommy and daddy would get so mad and if I did she would sue me and all this crap, and my favorite- I swear I won't do it again...and I told her " Your parents won't sue me, they will be thrilled to death I saved them a couple thousand bucks and tough sh*t about your parents being mad, and how many times are you going to lie to yourself? You know good and well that you will do it again as soon as you get the chance so don't pull it on me."

I reported her and she stood there and watched me. Aparently a lot of other people followed me and she was kicked out. Never came back the next semester.

I got a letter from her recently thanking me.

Now- i would not recommend anyone do what I did.

But I will say she's way too far gone. Its gotta come down to HER now. You just have to realize that and as much as I say it love her enough to be tough. Sometimes the best thing you can do is demonstrate tough love. I mean don't do what I did by any means but you have to realize its her addiction talking not her and you have to let her fall flat on her face. That's the toughest kind of love you can ever let happen but at this point thats the one that must be done.

**HUGS** I can truely understand where your coming from and my answer isn't the one you wanna hear but unfortunately- that may be your only solution and that solution is the worst ever.

 

[Hawkeye]

Here ya go sweetie- this is a very similar thread and it may help out some.

http://specktra.net/showthread.php?t=67807

 

[Beauty Mark]

You can't do anything, unfortunately. She is an addict.

It is not your job to worry about her or try to keep her in line. I know it's hard not try, but she is an adult and has to make her own decisions, however poor.

How aware of her addiction are her parents? Are you the only one who has confronted her on it?

I'm not sure how much time I'd spend with her if she's willing to do drugs while you're there. I'm not sure how the law reads, but I imagine you could get in some trouble or at least have to get yourself out of potential legal trouble if she were caught.

 

[YvetteJeannine]

Just an FYI: In Pulp Fiction, Uma's character doesn't OD on Cocaine...it is Heroin...She found H in Vincent's coat pocket, and sniffed a rather large quantity, thinking it was Cocaine (and she did not have a 'tolerance' to the drug that builds up after a while of use)

Not that it matters in the scheme of your situation, but just wanted to ease your thoughts a lil' bit that what was depicted in the movie was actually a Heroin overdose..Not Cocaine...Hence the need for the adrenaline shot. Cocaine OD's are not as prevalent

 

[EmbalmerBabe]

Thankyou all for replying to this post, it is helpful to me to get some insight from others about this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark You can't do anything, unfortunately. She is an addict. It is not your job to worry about her or try to keep her in line. I know it's hard not try, but she is an adult and has to make her own decisions, however poor. How aware of her addiction are her parents? Are you the only one who has confronted her on it? I'm not sure how much time I'd spend with her if she's willing to do drugs while you're there. I'm not sure how the law reads, but I imagine you could get in some trouble or at least have to get yourself out of potential legal trouble if she were caught.

I did not think she would do the drugs around me which is why I immediately left. I do hope she does get in trouble and then perhaps she will learn. Her parents are in complete denial and have helped her out so much and she has screwed it all up.
She destroyed their house while they were on vacation. She steals money from her mom any chance she gets when she is at her house.
Her parents kicked her out for flunking all of her classes and of course for causing a few thousand in damages to the house.
She got an apartment with a friend who was also a drug addict,
but the other person asked her to leave since she lost her job
due to drugs and was worried she would screw her over on rent,etc.
So she has had no where to stay because her parents will not let her stay there. I let her stay with me for a couple of weeks but now I will not let her come back because she angered me tremedously the other night, and I have been getting fed up.
She has also been warned about driving drunk, and she says it is not a problem because she does not drink that much while driving?!
I feel like I am talking to a wall. She can be a know it all little snot.
So it is hard to talk to her because she thinks she is so much smarter than others.
I cannot be her mother. I care for her but I am sick of her actions.