gifted children

[Shimmer]

How much is too much?

I have an athletically gifted child...but I question the ethics of taking training to this level. My son is naturally talented and loves being number one on the team as far as abilities etc. He's naturally competitive (he comes by that naturally...) and loves playing the game. Not just baseball, but any game, though baseball is for now his preference. He loves to be able to show people how talented he truly is...
He's six and can switch hit coach pitch baseball...he has a fairly accurate arm, though if he gets carried away, watch out.
Despite all of that, I can't imagine taking it to the level that this dad has taken it...

Thoughts?

 

[litlaur]

It seems like so many parents put their children into sports and other activities for themselves. It just doesn't make sense. It's about the children having fun, not the parent's egos.

 

[Shimmer]

so does having fun not equal competition?

 

[Hawkeye]

Theres a fine line between competition for yourself and for pride and forcing competition on another person.

For example: I have a friend who used to skate. She's now pro. She was good enough at ice skating she could've gone to the olympics. Her mother pressured her a lot and that took the fun out of it.

Now when it was just goofing off and being competitive she really loved it but the moment there was pressure it got to the point where it was hard for her to wake up in the morning.

I know for me, I'm a really strong swimmer. I love to swim and for me even in competitions I do it for myself. But the moment I start feeling pressured by DH or something along those lines, I have issues because it's not about me and doing it for enjoyment and love of the sport as much as it is to stroke his ego. Then I hate it.

Does that make any sense?

 

[Shimmer]

Makes perfect sense.

Pressure from parents comes partly, I think, from financial investment in the child's chosen activity...though that doesn't excuse it.

 

[litlaur]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shimmer so does having fun not equal competition?

Sure, they can have fun and compete, but sometimes the parents are more into it than the children. The story reminded me of Stan's dad on South Park, when they go to the little league world series. Silly example, but there are definitely people like that.

Children should be encouraged to excel, but not pushed.

 

[Chic 2k6]

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[MAC_Whore]

I think the fact that you are putting consideration into the matter is a healthy sign. It is the parents whose blind personal ambition pushes their kids without a thought for what the child wants that can cause damage. I think that as long as your son is happy, wants to compete and is able to live a successfully balanced life (ie has time with friends, keeps up good grades, etc), it is fine.

 

[Shimmer]

Thank you.

He wants to start playing soccer now. *sigh*

 

[joytheobscure]

Thats wonderful that he loves sports, develop his talent and try not to let Dad get too carried away. I think you have to remember the importance of unstructured play and activity too- playing ball to play ball not for competition.

I've known to many people who "push" their kids into activities and spend more time taking kids to activities than with kids. Then the parents talk about all the time they spend taking their kids to ball etc. Having a child that is good at a sport/acting/art is naturally good for Mom or Dads ego, lol... My daughter is 10 and already confident at speaking in public and boy doesn't Mom want to find her an acting outlet.