girls adding and talking to your bf on msn/fb

mila<3

Member
i dont know how i should handle this my boyfriend has alot of random girls adding him on facebook and msn. Im not really a jealous type but its starting to get to me these girls dont know him but they'll add him just to say hes hot and start chatting and he chats back to one girl who had a really slutty display pic and said stuff like "i like to party all night long!"the girl actually brought me up in one message and asked if i mind that he talks to her cause she doesnt want a random gf bitching her out wtf!
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and he replied "no i wouldnt mind...all night long eh?" and something about partying together i really dont think he had intentions on seeing the girl and her facebook looked like a fake one cause she didnt have "real friends" like no one writing on her wall no pics exept the display one and only random friends who said stuff like do i know you he says he was just curious if she was real and was trying to catch her in a lie but it still upsets me. this isnt the only one to add him its happend at least 5 times (our relationship has been wonderful and its been almost two years)

also do any of you girls do this adding random guys youve never seen or talked to i dont get why they do it is it for a random fuck or just fun to chat with a guy with no intentions

sorry i dont punctuate it might be hard to read i just kinda spilled my guts
 

06290714

Well-known member
I understand where you're coming from..I first and foremost want to say that your boyfriend giving the reason of "I'm just curious if she's fake or real and that's why I'm talking to her" is baloney. I wouldn't take that excuse for shit; why does it matter if she's fake or real?

Anyways, your boyfriend accepts these random girls? Why...Hmmm. If it really bothers you, tell him to quit accepting the requests and ask him how he would feel if the script was flipped the other way.

My boyfriend has a myspace and if a random girl tries adding him (& he knows he doesn't know them) he'll immediately reject them.

I don't add random guys..whether I'm single or taken. I know some girls who add random guys to either keep themselves entertained (have someone to always talk to), have a higher count of buddies (on myspace or facebook)..or maybe they're just myspace/facebook whores haha.
 

06290714

Well-known member
PS- You can't be mad at the girls or put blame on them as much as you want too because it takes TWO to play. Your boyfriend is playing along with them..
 

TISH1124

Well-known member
I agree...it takes two to play...and as I always say...the women owe you no respect your man does....
 

06290714

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by TISH1127
I agree...it takes two to play...and as I always say...the women owe you no respect your man does....


YAY TISH!
I totally agree with that too.."the women owe you NO respect..your man does." You don't know the broads, they don't know you so they don't have to show or give anything.


Put your man in check!
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mila<3

Member
thanks, its easier to put the frustration on the girls. i have talked to him and he deleted that girl but i was sitting at his computer and some girl said "hey you" and he said that when he asked if they knew eachother she just added all the people that were in the chain email thing. i guess im going to have to have that chat with him again other then this all is well and i dont suspect him of cheating cause nothing else gives any indications. i really hope this doesnt end with me finding out he does cheat and is just really good at keeping it from me.
anyone else have anything to say? i just feel dumb as if i shouldnt bring this up with him i guess i need reassurence that im not just being parinoid
 

Blushbaby

Well-known member
Hmmmm funny you should mention this. My best friend is going through something similar. She's in a LDR and her boyf told her a few wks ago when she went to visit him that he talks to girls on Tagged - just as friends though he claimed.

Obviously she wasn't happy and she accidentally logged into his a/c from her laptop a couple of days ago and found a msg he'd sent to a girl which overstepped the mark.

She confronted him and he's promised to delete the offending accounts and has professed his undying love, blah, blah, blah, but the damage has been done and the trust's now been broken.

The cynic in me would argue that even though he says he's deleted these girls ..nobody can add you WITHOUT you accepting them onto your messenger list so he's talking shit about this second girl adding him from a main chat room email list thingy.

Put your foot down and make it clear that you won't tolerate him talking to other women online. If he has respect for you and can clearly see how upsetting you find this, then it won't be a problem for him to stop.

Good luck
smiles.gif
 

06290714

Well-known member
Don't be hesistant about bringing it up to him..he's your boyfriend, you should be able to talk to him about anything. I wouldn't say drop the whole thing, but definitely don't think too much about it or it'll take a toll on you. Same kind of situation happened with me except for the had a minor past with the girl.

Keep ya head up and lay down the law!
tong.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by mila<3
thanks, its easier to put the frustration on the girls. i have talked to him and he deleted that girl but i was sitting at his computer and some girl said "hey you" and he said that when he asked if they knew eachother she just added all the people that were in the chain email thing. i guess im going to have to have that chat with him again other then this all is well and i dont suspect him of cheating cause nothing else gives any indications. i really hope this doesnt end with me finding out he does cheat and is just really good at keeping it from me.
anyone else have anything to say? i just feel dumb as if i shouldnt bring this up with him i guess i need reassurence that im not just being parinoid

 

revinn

Well-known member
Oh, monkey. Well, you know how I feel about it, as well as about something ELSE that happened that we dismissed (crazy girl.). You saw how mad he got over that whole thing with the morning-before-work situation; he even punched someone over it. If he's allowed to get that pissed over something completely out of YOUR control, then you have every right to get a little bitchy over this whole thing. You've been worrying about this for months. You need to tell him what's what, and BRING up how jealous and suspicious he got. As aforementioned, ask how the hell he would feel in your situation! Call me if you need to muffin lump, if I would have known you were feeling like this I would have stayed with you today.

P.S., you know I love the guy, but if this is bothering you, then it bothers me. Hmmph.
 

NeonKitty

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by revinn
Oh, monkey. Well, you know how I feel about it, as well as about something ELSE that happened that we dismissed (crazy girl.). You saw how mad he got over that whole thing with the morning-before-work situation; he even punched someone over it. If he's allowed to get that pissed over something completely out of YOUR control, then you have every right to get a little bitchy over this whole thing. You've been worrying about this for months. You need to tell him what's what, and BRING up how jealous and suspicious he got. As aforementioned, ask how the hell he would feel in your situation! Call me if you need to muffin lump, if I would have known you were feeling like this I would have stayed with you today.

P.S., you know I love the guy, but if this is bothering you, then it bothers me. Hmmph.



Am I the only one who sees how many red flags are popping up here? Run. Dude is bad news.
 

vocaltest

Well-known member
Tish has said it... it takes two to tango.

My boyfriend gets a lot of girls adding him on Myspace/Facebook because he's in quite a big band... but he denies every single one of them (unless he knows them of course). I think your bf should be doing the same thing.
The weird thing is... they've now moved on to adding me hah :S
 

revinn

Well-known member
I think I should clarify what I referred to in my post. Someone (who lives in our dorm), went into her room and kissed her. She pushed him off, so it went no further. She felt guilty not telling her boyfriend, so she did. He was angry at her for not "reacting" quickly enough, and was jealous and bitter about it for a few weeks. He made her cry by being so cruel about the situation, a situation where she obviously was not in any way to blame, and reacted in a pretty damn good way. He punched the guy who kissed her on a visit to our building.

Now, I love her boyfriend, I will say that he treats her extremely well (with the exception of that one isolated event). I honestly don't think he is cheating on her, HOWEVER, if he would get so possessive over something like that, then it is hypocritical of him to be talking to these other girls. Honestly, this girl right here is the sweetest person I've ever met, and anything that makes her feel that way is not alright.

Anyway, just thought I'd make my post a little more clear, so no one thinks her bf is going around beating people up on the street.
smiles.gif
 

NeonKitty

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by revinn
I think I should clarify what I referred to in my post. Someone (who lives in our dorm), went into her room and kissed her. She pushed him off, so it went no further. She felt guilty not telling her boyfriend, so she did. He was angry at her for not "reacting" quickly enough, and was jealous and bitter about it for a few weeks. He made her cry by being so cruel about the situation, a situation where she obviously was not in any way to blame, and reacted in a pretty damn good way. He punched the guy who kissed her on a visit to our building.

Now, I love her boyfriend, I will say that he treats her extremely well (with the exception of that one isolated event). I honestly don't think he is cheating on her, HOWEVER, if he would get so possessive over something like that, then it is hypocritical of him to be talking to these other girls. Honestly, this girl right here is the sweetest person I've ever met, and anything that makes her feel that way is not alright.

Anyway, just thought I'd make my post a little more clear, so no one thinks her bf is going around beating people up on the street.
smiles.gif


I'm sorry, but from your description of how the incident went down, I am even more convinced that he has issues. Rageful jealousy, blaming the victim, treats her cruelly in that instance, so angry he only seeks to solve problem by assaulting the dude.

This sort of behaviour is NEVER isolated. Treats her like crap once, he'll do it again. Hits somebody when angry, he'll do it again. Demonstrates disrespect to her by flaunting these online trists. Sounds to me like he only concerned about how things impact HIM, and not others, least of all the girlfriend.

Sever, run, don't look back. Too many fish in the sea to waste time on dealing with or trying to "change" this sort of loser. If you put up with this behaviour you're enabling him and endorsing it. I think she deserves better than that. Anyone does.
 

LMD84

Well-known member
yep i'd sit him down and talk to him about it. there must be a reason why he accepts these girls. my husband denies anybody who he doesn't know in real life which is the same as me. it's very disrespectful of him to be chatting to girls he doesn't know about partying and stuff like that. once he starts and thinks it's ok, who knows where it will end.
 

Moofy

Member
Yep, I think you need to talk to him about it again. I've never had this problem myself as my boyfriend uses a different name on FB (for a number of reasons) and he's pretty hard to find.

I will admit that sometimes I add back people who I don't recognise, purely because I'm awful at remembering last names and/or email addresses, so I'll add them back on the off-chance that I do know them (this is more the case with things like MSN etc.) Once I've figured it out either way I'll delete them or keep them, but sometimes I forget
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It could well be a similar case with him, but if he's actually talking to these girls once he knows that they are random adds, I'm not so sure. I hope you find a solution to this!
 

kimberlane

Well-known member
I just wanted to make a comment about the Quote:
the women owe you no respect your man does

comment. I think that anyone who is human, meaning male or female, owe respect to relationships, maybe not to a specific person, but to the santity of relationships. I mean if you want to be in a relationship with a guy who is in a relationship, and expect other girls to stay away when he is your man, then you owe the same respect to his current relationship. That being said I hate when girls try to blame some other girl for their boyfriend cheating, when he took on half the role. But that's just my opinion.
 

kabuki_KILLER

Well-known member
Any girl that has the time to sit online all day and is bored enough to flip through and check out all the people in a freakin chain mail is a loser. Period.

Some people see myspace as a publicity and networking site. Others only add friends. Sometimes a conflict of interest can lead people to get mad at one another.

If you’re losing sleep over your guy being friends with girls, then you’re overreacting. You cannot expect someone to have no friends of the opposite sex and deny contact with everyone new. He will only grow to resent you. However, if he’s acting like he’s single and taking girls that are obviously interested in him and not thinking anything of it, then discipline should be applied. (kidding) If you start feeling hopeless and the relationship is doomed, most likely, it kind of is. Try your best to stay dignified and strong.

A lot of women enjoy manipulating men. Some just do it for the game. A wise man once told me, “Don’t you mean there are plenty of SHARKS in the sea? Most of these cute little girls are in no way, shape or form innocent little fish.” Lol. I love that guy.

@vocaltest: You know those groupies will do anything. I mean anything.
 

snugglebear4now

Active member
Awww sometimes men suck. Just because one can do something doesnt mean they should. Its inappropriate for the girl (using term loosely) to be discussing partying all nite long w/someone who has a gf. As for him, tell him its begining to bother you and because he loves you he should take your feelings into account and stop the behavior that is causing you pain. Good luck.
 
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