hardly any sex

[nursee81]

Hey ladies and gents how are you guys doing? Well, I have a problems I guess you would say. My husband and I have been married a little over 2 years now but have been together 9 years. But every so often in our relationship we have a period where we don't have sex so often it usually goes from once a wk to once every 2 wk and I swear sometimes it once a month. I have a very high sex drive and I want it all the time and I can get really pissy when I have to beg for it.
We do have crazy schedule and 3 children, we both work nights and we don't sleep together because I work on his nights off. I don't know what to do anymore. I try to talk to him about it and he tells me he's tired or we have no privacy with the kids running around. But in my opinion if you really want it bad you will find the time and the place. Then the thing that makes me more mad is the he watches porn a lot so wouldn't that make him want it that much more?
Last time we went through this I ended up cheating on him which was 4 yrs ago I don't want to do that agin. What should I do?

 

[MAC_Pixie04]

I would try letting him know how his watching porn rather than be with you affects you. That's not just going to have an effect on you sexually as a woman, but it'll eventually start to take an emotional toll on you, which will lead to bickering and a toll on the relationship. Perhaps don't approach it as just sex because of your sex drive but as a craving to be near him and be intimate with him as a physical being and emotionally as your partner. If you approach sex with him as a physical chore, he's not going to want it. And there's no point in having sex if the desire isn't there.

 

[MACGIRL68]

idk, but i think men who watch too much porn sort of become addicted to it and less interested in real sex with there parnter. I would try to get him to stop any way you can and hopefully his interest will return to you. Just my guess. I hope that helps and good luck.

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MACGIRL68 idk, but i think men who watch too much porn sort of become addicted to it and less interested in real sex with there parnter. I would try to get him to stop any way you can and hopefully his interest will return to you. Just my guess. I hope that helps and good luck.

I'm not sure about this one. Men can watch porn to get hard and what not, but im sure he'd enjoy having sex way more than his right hand, but maybe he doesnt have the energy for it.

Gosh.. everyone couples sex drive is different naturally, i guess his is on a way lower knotch than yours. One or Two weeks without it isnt so bad, but maybe you should talk to him about it find some for you and him "nights" after the kids are all sleeping, and hey even 5 minute quickies is great if you can get it off without foreplay first.. And if hes too tired to do anything physical, you should do the moving, or introudce some sex toys into your life (vibrators).

Instead of nagging him or begging him for it, you need to tell him your still very much attracted to him and you miss that physical intimacy, and all your asking for is maybe 1-2 times a week. Maybe you can hire a baby sitter or have a family member baby sit while you two slip away for a few hours once a week. As your kids get older your sex life should come back. Try to find something you can do to make him WANT YOU, and want you NOW, have him catch you watching porn or something lol.

Or you could always silp some viagra into his drink when hes not looking

LOL. just playing.

 

[Kayteuk]

I have this problem with my guy sometimes, but its mainly me not wanting it. Sometimes its usually the guy working nights that causes most the problems, it really drains them mentally and physically, maybe talk about switching his shifts for a week or so and see how that works out?

Im not an expert with the porn thing so I will keep quiet on that one =)

 

[alienman]

Hmm. It does kind of bother me to hear that he won't have sex but he'll watch porn. However, maybe you could use this to your advantage.
What kind of porn does he watch? What do they do in there that is different from what you guys do? Maybe you could sort of reenact some of the scenes?

However, I don't want to sound like it's YOUR responsibility to make this work. Kudos to you for refusing to find relief through other people, btw. Have you tried finding relief in toys and porn for yourself? I've heard great things about the Rabbit

 

[Simply Elegant]

If he watches porn while you're away at work, then I don't see a problem but if he doesn't want to have sex when you're both home and the kids are playing by themselves quietly then there would be a problem with that. If it's just a matter of you not being able to be there then I don't think that's nearly as bad.

It probably is just stress. It kills some people's sex drives. I'd suggest a mini vacation if that's possible and get a babysitter or ask a relative to take them for a few days so you guys can work on your relationship.

 

[HOneY LuSt]

try bringing his porno fantasies to ''life''lol. trust me, it works for my relationship. Just don't do anything ur uncomfortable with so u both can enjoy it.

 

[VeXedPiNk]

Quote:

Originally Posted by alienman Have you tried finding relief in toys and porn for yourself? I've heard great things about the Rabbit

I find that Rabbit is a little overrated. However, every woman should have a pocket rocket! Can be used alone or with your partner. But maybe some sex toys would spice it up a bit for him.

There's been some great suggestions so far, but I think talking to him is the best idea. Don't make him feel attacked or anything, because guys get really touchy about that... just explain that you want to intimate with him because you still feel so much spark for him. You can't force it, but you may find out some other underlying issues.

Good luck hun, I hope it all works out for you