HBO Thin Documentary is on YouTube.
- Thread starter Shimmer
- Start date
Shimmer
Well-known member
absolutely cannot disagree with you.
I dunno if you've watched it far enough in to see the single mother draw her perception of herself, but it's really eyeopening.
For those who haven't seen, she draws herself and she looks like a masculine framed "football player" type. When her real body is outlined she looked much smaller, obviously, and the disparities in her perception vs the reality were astounding.
She then took a marker and wrote everywhere she felt her body needed work done. Truly, sad.
I dunno if you've watched it far enough in to see the single mother draw her perception of herself, but it's really eyeopening.
For those who haven't seen, she draws herself and she looks like a masculine framed "football player" type. When her real body is outlined she looked much smaller, obviously, and the disparities in her perception vs the reality were astounding.
She then took a marker and wrote everywhere she felt her body needed work done. Truly, sad.
n_c
Well-known member
Im on part 4, the single mom was talking about how at one point she keept her calorie intake at 200 calories at day...I was thinking to myself, gosh I can take that in in ONE bite...totally not trying to be funny or anything...its just that the measures these women go to are way harsh.
giz2000
Well-known member
When I was getting my Master's Degree, I interned at the Renfrew Center for Eating Disorders...it was very sad seeing what the women and girls in this place thought of themselves...they were walking skeletons and thought they were huge...some actually get "better," but they'll be battling those demons every day for the rest of their lives...
BeckMac
Active member
I used to have a severe eating disorder and was a patient at the Renfrew center a few years ago (the one in Philadelphia, not the one in Florida that they filmed at). So somehow I feel obligated to say something whenever I hear girls talking about this documentary. Gotta represent! LOL.
I'm really glad they made this documentary, and it's even better (to me) that it's at the clinic I was at because I feel like I can really show it to people (friends, family) and they can have a better sense of what I went through.
I felt like it was all very accurate...There was actually a girl on MUA a few days ago who was saying that she felt like the documentary made it seem like girls with eating disorders were very manipulative, always lying, etc. But sadly, that's usually the case with eating disorders, and I think the documentary did a great job of accurately portraying the behaviors of girls with eating disorders. It truly takes over you, and unless you've had an eating disorder it's really impossible to feel how powerful it is. It's like you can see yourself wasting away and you know you're killing yourself, but you can't stop.
And yeah, I did that body-tracing exercise, which is always a really interesting one. I remember doing it seeing how thin my outline was and just thinking "no, i can't really be that thin...the woman made a mistake in tracing me" They're just such a disconnect with your body.
But in the documentary, when it said "1 in 7 girls dies from an eating disorder" (something along those lines anyway) I just thought "it's so fucking sad that that's true. But it's so fucking awesome that i'm a survivor" Haha. Everyone thought I was going to die, because I just looked like a walking skeleton. But i'm still here. Yay! I know it may sound silly to most people, like it's not like I survived cancer or something...But I feel like it's a big deal, because I never imagined being without my ED...and if you've ever had an eating disorder then you understand the power they have over you.
You think you're in control, but the eating disorder is the one controlling you.
*end ramble*
;D
I'm really glad they made this documentary, and it's even better (to me) that it's at the clinic I was at because I feel like I can really show it to people (friends, family) and they can have a better sense of what I went through.
I felt like it was all very accurate...There was actually a girl on MUA a few days ago who was saying that she felt like the documentary made it seem like girls with eating disorders were very manipulative, always lying, etc. But sadly, that's usually the case with eating disorders, and I think the documentary did a great job of accurately portraying the behaviors of girls with eating disorders. It truly takes over you, and unless you've had an eating disorder it's really impossible to feel how powerful it is. It's like you can see yourself wasting away and you know you're killing yourself, but you can't stop.
And yeah, I did that body-tracing exercise, which is always a really interesting one. I remember doing it seeing how thin my outline was and just thinking "no, i can't really be that thin...the woman made a mistake in tracing me" They're just such a disconnect with your body.
But in the documentary, when it said "1 in 7 girls dies from an eating disorder" (something along those lines anyway) I just thought "it's so fucking sad that that's true. But it's so fucking awesome that i'm a survivor" Haha. Everyone thought I was going to die, because I just looked like a walking skeleton. But i'm still here. Yay! I know it may sound silly to most people, like it's not like I survived cancer or something...But I feel like it's a big deal, because I never imagined being without my ED...and if you've ever had an eating disorder then you understand the power they have over you.
You think you're in control, but the eating disorder is the one controlling you.
*end ramble*
;D
flowerhead
Well-known member
This made me sad. I used to be anorexic, and I eventually ended up in a ward...they fed me full fat milk and mashed potatoes. It was very disturbing as most of the girls on the ward would scream and cry a lot, plus being a 'minority' anorexic (only 1 in 10 anorexics are boys) it was even more alienating.
And to the above post, you're right, obviously this isn't true for every case but a lot anorexics are very manipulative, I used to drink 7 pints of water before being weighed.
And to the above post, you're right, obviously this isn't true for every case but a lot anorexics are very manipulative, I used to drink 7 pints of water before being weighed.
BeckMac
Active member
Quote:
I also used to drink a ton of water before being weighed, and also tried to wear lots of jewelry and extra pairs of socks as well--anything to add fake weight so I could get out faster. But obviously the women who worked at Renfrew caught on and I got in trouble. What's funny is that when they confronted me about it, I remember lying through my teeth "I was just thirsty, I was just cold, I always wear this jewelry, etc." and I actually convinced *myself* that that was the truth and would get so angry at them, like I had done nothing wrong and I was being falsely accused.
I didn't mean to say that all people with eating disorders are manipulative, or that it's their fault even. I think it's just one of those negative aspects that often comes along with the eating disorder. I don't mean to say that people with eating disorders are generally manipulative people, I just mean that they are often manipulative when they feel like others are trying to take their eating disorder away from them. Like you feel the need to lie to people and yourself, and do whatever it takes to keep your ED behavior so people won't find out and take it away from you. Does that make sense? That was just my experience, and the experience of a lot of the people I know.
Like if people found out about all the little things I did that were part of my eating disorder, then my fear was that they would be even more watchful of me and prevent me from doing those things, which would make me freak out that I was going to get fat and it would be the end of the world.
It truly becomes your LIFE. Everything else in the world just fades away, it's just you and your eating disorder and that's all that you can see.
When I was Anorexic, people would always say things to me like "Oh come on, just eat a burger! No big deal!" and I wanted to scream at them for thinking it was just so simple. But it took me a while to understand that other people just cannot comprehend it in the least. And it's not their fault, there's just no way for them to know how it feels unless their in it.
It truly is a mental illness. I think a lot of people aren't really aware of that.
I've always been really open in talking about eating disorders, because I like to at least try to help people become more aware of it and explain what it feels like. And to let people know that they aren't alone. When I first developed my eating disorder at age 12/13, I thought it was such a rare thing. Then the first time I had to get hospitalized it was such a wakeup call as to how insanely common it is.
If you aren't going through an eating disorder yourself, then you probably know of someone who is. That's why I think it's good for people to see this documentary, because It's always good to be compassionate and try to understand each other.
Everyone has their own shit that they go through, whether it be an eating disorder or something else...We all have our problems.
I'll try to stop being really cheesy now. Hahaha.
Originally Posted by flowerhead
This made me sad. I used to be anorexic, and I eventually ended up in a ward...they fed me full fat milk and mashed potatoes. It was very disturbing as most of the girls on the ward would scream and cry a lot, plus being a 'minority' anorexic (only 1 in 10 anorexics are boys) it was even more alienating. And to the above post, obviously this isn't true for every case but a lot anorexics are very manipulative, I used to drink 7 pints of water before being weighed. |
I also used to drink a ton of water before being weighed, and also tried to wear lots of jewelry and extra pairs of socks as well--anything to add fake weight so I could get out faster. But obviously the women who worked at Renfrew caught on and I got in trouble. What's funny is that when they confronted me about it, I remember lying through my teeth "I was just thirsty, I was just cold, I always wear this jewelry, etc." and I actually convinced *myself* that that was the truth and would get so angry at them, like I had done nothing wrong and I was being falsely accused.
I didn't mean to say that all people with eating disorders are manipulative, or that it's their fault even. I think it's just one of those negative aspects that often comes along with the eating disorder. I don't mean to say that people with eating disorders are generally manipulative people, I just mean that they are often manipulative when they feel like others are trying to take their eating disorder away from them. Like you feel the need to lie to people and yourself, and do whatever it takes to keep your ED behavior so people won't find out and take it away from you. Does that make sense? That was just my experience, and the experience of a lot of the people I know.
Like if people found out about all the little things I did that were part of my eating disorder, then my fear was that they would be even more watchful of me and prevent me from doing those things, which would make me freak out that I was going to get fat and it would be the end of the world.
It truly becomes your LIFE. Everything else in the world just fades away, it's just you and your eating disorder and that's all that you can see.
When I was Anorexic, people would always say things to me like "Oh come on, just eat a burger! No big deal!" and I wanted to scream at them for thinking it was just so simple. But it took me a while to understand that other people just cannot comprehend it in the least. And it's not their fault, there's just no way for them to know how it feels unless their in it.
It truly is a mental illness. I think a lot of people aren't really aware of that.
I've always been really open in talking about eating disorders, because I like to at least try to help people become more aware of it and explain what it feels like. And to let people know that they aren't alone. When I first developed my eating disorder at age 12/13, I thought it was such a rare thing. Then the first time I had to get hospitalized it was such a wakeup call as to how insanely common it is.
If you aren't going through an eating disorder yourself, then you probably know of someone who is. That's why I think it's good for people to see this documentary, because It's always good to be compassionate and try to understand each other.
Everyone has their own shit that they go through, whether it be an eating disorder or something else...We all have our problems.
I'll try to stop being really cheesy now. Hahaha.
MissMarley
Well-known member
Before I had to be weighed, I'd just eat a lot and drink a ton, then I'd make sure I gave my urine specimen afterwards- and purge after i peed- while the toilet was flushing. i really want to watch this documentary, but i'm afraid it'll be really triggering.
And BeckMac, I would say that having an ED does make a person more prone to being manipulative and deceitful. I normally tell the truth, speak my mind, but I lied to every single person I loved when I was very active in my disorder. I did everything I could to make sure things were going "my way" so I could take complete control of how/when/if I ate and how I was going to get rid of it.
And BeckMac, I would say that having an ED does make a person more prone to being manipulative and deceitful. I normally tell the truth, speak my mind, but I lied to every single person I loved when I was very active in my disorder. I did everything I could to make sure things were going "my way" so I could take complete control of how/when/if I ate and how I was going to get rid of it.
jenii
Well-known member
You know, I watched both the Thin documentary, and an episode of PBS Nova entitled "Dying To Be Thin."
The Nova episode was half as long, but twice as informative. I didn't like Thin that much, since it honestly didn't teach me anything. I'm fine with documentaries that shock, as long as they also inform. Thin really only shocked, IMO.
Anyway, I didn't think much of Thin (though those girls broke my heart), but that Nova episode was seriously good viewing.
If anyone wants to watch it, PBS has it up for free at the Nova site: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/thin/program.html
The Nova episode was half as long, but twice as informative. I didn't like Thin that much, since it honestly didn't teach me anything. I'm fine with documentaries that shock, as long as they also inform. Thin really only shocked, IMO.
Anyway, I didn't think much of Thin (though those girls broke my heart), but that Nova episode was seriously good viewing.
If anyone wants to watch it, PBS has it up for free at the Nova site: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/thin/program.html
hyperRealGurl
Well-known member
i actually watched it on HBO, eating disorders are scary
Raerae
Well-known member
Quote:
I think part of this behavior (and the same behavior in the post above with drinking water etc) isn't necessarily a product of the disorder though. But a product of the treatment.
You have two results of getting your weight taken:
A.) you weigh less than what they are looking for.
As a result of this, there are consiquences, the minum being being hassled over why your not eating. Be it increased monitoring, force feeding, talking about it in counciling. Regardless the result is that your going to be hassled (even if it's done with the best of intentions) if you dont meet the number.
B.) you weigh enough so that they leave you alone.
As a result the opposite of the above happens. Your given encouragement for gaining weight. People are off your back because they feel your improving, whatever.
It's only a matter of time before you realise if I end up in catagory A, people are going to be a pain in the butt. So just to avoid getting hassled, you figure out a way to cheat the system. Eating a lot right before getting weighed, drinking etc, clothing. Whatever it takes to not have to deal with ending up in catagory A.
It's not surprising people with ED'd end up being seen as manipulative. I dont think it's done on purpose, but it's a result of the over attention and hassle people put on anyone dating Ed. It gets to a point where you just dont wanna hear it anymore, so you'll do anything to make people think your getting better just to get them off you back. It's no wonder it's so diffucult to recover. The people who are trying to help you end up becomming the people you dislike the most.
I think people would have a much better success rate treating ED's by focusing on helping those with ED'd get a positive body image. Rather than constantly pointing out whats wrong with them, and why they need to do this and do that and do this. If you have a ED, you already KNOW this. And the more people tell you what you already know, the less you want to hear it.
| Originally Posted by MissMarley
Before I had to be weighed, I'd just eat a lot and drink a ton, then I'd make sure I gave my urine specimen afterwards- and purge after i peed- while the toilet was flushing. i really want to watch this documentary, but i'm afraid it'll be really triggering. And BeckMac, I would say that having an ED does make a person more prone to being manipulative and deceitful. I normally tell the truth, speak my mind, but I lied to every single person I loved when I was very active in my disorder. I did everything I could to make sure things were going "my way" so I could take complete control of how/when/if I ate and how I was going to get rid of it. |
I think part of this behavior (and the same behavior in the post above with drinking water etc) isn't necessarily a product of the disorder though. But a product of the treatment.
You have two results of getting your weight taken:
A.) you weigh less than what they are looking for.
As a result of this, there are consiquences, the minum being being hassled over why your not eating. Be it increased monitoring, force feeding, talking about it in counciling. Regardless the result is that your going to be hassled (even if it's done with the best of intentions) if you dont meet the number.
B.) you weigh enough so that they leave you alone.
As a result the opposite of the above happens. Your given encouragement for gaining weight. People are off your back because they feel your improving, whatever.
It's only a matter of time before you realise if I end up in catagory A, people are going to be a pain in the butt. So just to avoid getting hassled, you figure out a way to cheat the system. Eating a lot right before getting weighed, drinking etc, clothing. Whatever it takes to not have to deal with ending up in catagory A.
It's not surprising people with ED'd end up being seen as manipulative. I dont think it's done on purpose, but it's a result of the over attention and hassle people put on anyone dating Ed. It gets to a point where you just dont wanna hear it anymore, so you'll do anything to make people think your getting better just to get them off you back. It's no wonder it's so diffucult to recover. The people who are trying to help you end up becomming the people you dislike the most.
I think people would have a much better success rate treating ED's by focusing on helping those with ED'd get a positive body image. Rather than constantly pointing out whats wrong with them, and why they need to do this and do that and do this. If you have a ED, you already KNOW this. And the more people tell you what you already know, the less you want to hear it.
MissMarley
Well-known member
Quote:
Yep. I'd pretty much do anything to get my husband, friends, parents, therapist, etc off my back. I had it worked out to wear I learned the absorption rate of all the meds they put me on so I could plan my purges around them (I was/am a starving bulimic- I don't binge, I eat little and throw it up). I have been back and forth with this for years, and honestly, I think a lot of the root of it stems from being raped as a young teen. I feel dirty and disgusting and hate myself, and until I conquer that, and see my body as something other than repulsive, I will not get better.
| Originally Posted by Raerae
I think part of this behavior (and the same behavior in the post above with drinking water etc) isn't necessarily a product of the disorder though. But a product of the treatment. You have two results of getting your weight taken: A.) you weigh less than what they are looking for. As a result of this, there are consiquences, the minum being being hassled over why your not eating. Be it increased monitoring, force feeding, talking about it in counciling. Regardless the result is that your going to be hassled (even if it's done with the best of intentions) if you dont meet the number. B.) you weigh enough so that they leave you alone. As a result the opposite of the above happens. Your given encouragement for gaining weight. People are off your back because they feel your improving, whatever. It's only a matter of time before you realise if I end up in catagory A, people are going to be a pain in the butt. So just to avoid getting hassled, you figure out a way to cheat the system. Eating a lot right before getting weighed, drinking etc, clothing. Whatever it takes to not have to deal with ending up in catagory A. It's not surprising people with ED'd end up being seen as manipulative. I dont think it's done on purpose, but it's a result of the over attention and hassle people put on anyone dating Ed. It gets to a point where you just dont wanna hear it anymore, so you'll do anything to make people think your getting better just to get them off you back. It's no wonder it's so diffucult to recover. The people who are trying to help you end up becomming the people you dislike the most. I think people would have a much better success rate treating ED's by focusing on helping those with ED'd get a positive body image. Rather than constantly pointing out whats wrong with them, and why they need to do this and do that and do this. If you have a ED, you already KNOW this. And the more people tell you what you already know, the less you want to hear it. |
Yep. I'd pretty much do anything to get my husband, friends, parents, therapist, etc off my back. I had it worked out to wear I learned the absorption rate of all the meds they put me on so I could plan my purges around them (I was/am a starving bulimic- I don't binge, I eat little and throw it up). I have been back and forth with this for years, and honestly, I think a lot of the root of it stems from being raped as a young teen. I feel dirty and disgusting and hate myself, and until I conquer that, and see my body as something other than repulsive, I will not get better.
giz2000
Well-known member
Quote:
Hugs to you, Marley....
| Originally Posted by MissMarley
Yep. I'd pretty much do anything to get my husband, friends, parents, therapist, etc off my back. I had it worked out to wear I learned the absorption rate of all the meds they put me on so I could plan my purges around them (I was/am a starving bulimic- I don't binge, I eat little and throw it up). I have been back and forth with this for years, and honestly, I think a lot of the root of it stems from being raped as a young teen. I feel dirty and disgusting and hate myself, and until I conquer that, and see my body as something other than repulsive, I will not get better. |
Hugs to you, Marley....
Raerae
Well-known member
Not surprising. I think all of this is just a result of treating the symptoms, and not the actual cause that much of our healthcare (especially psycological healthcare) focus's on.
I personaly dont think ED's like anarexia/bulemia are actual "diseases" in themselves. I think they are the symptoms of a bigger problem, a deep dislike of personal body image / low self esteem. And thats also why I think people who go to clinics, and see (usually forced in a lot of cases especially with minors) ED specialists end up not having any success with it. Because the ED isn't what needs treatment, it's something else (and I think this is different for everyone). So trying to convince someone that not eating is bad for them isn't going to be successful in the long run.
I personaly dont think ED's like anarexia/bulemia are actual "diseases" in themselves. I think they are the symptoms of a bigger problem, a deep dislike of personal body image / low self esteem. And thats also why I think people who go to clinics, and see (usually forced in a lot of cases especially with minors) ED specialists end up not having any success with it. Because the ED isn't what needs treatment, it's something else (and I think this is different for everyone). So trying to convince someone that not eating is bad for them isn't going to be successful in the long run.
Raerae
Well-known member
flowerhead
Well-known member
Dear god pro-anorexia websites are tragic. They just incourage mindless little girls who run around saying things like 'Nicole richie is my thinspiration' when they dont realise shes having a great time off her face on coke and crystal meth, not posting pictures of her ass on livejournal!
DaizyDeath
Well-known member
After reading all your stories you guys gave me the courage to post my own.
I starting becoming anorexic at the age of 8 and have battled with it ever since. Ive done meal journals, fasting, diet pills [it didn't help that i sold them so i had free range to whatever I wanted]. Ive always felt like I wasn't good enough. I think it started when I was just an infant and was thrown against a table by a man which created a dent in my head and me and my brother being taken away from the home. Later when I was 6 I was raped by another man that I trusted and when I tried to tell somebody they didn't believe me. Most children cant imagine feeling the kind of pain and rejection I felt before I was even 10 years old. I felt like I couldn't possibly relate to anybody my own age.
I wanted to be successful in atleast one part of my life the part that I could control which was the way I looked I wanted to be loved by people. I wanted for people to like me and not reject me. I wanted to be skinny and I didn't care what it would take. I started to get attention from older men they could see how mentally weak I was and took advantage of it but most of all I let them take advantage of me and break me even more. When one of the men i was dating cheated on me and decided to leave me for the other girl he told me that he didn't find me attractive. That was really the back breaker for me.
All I know now is the consuming feeling I feel when I look in the mirror and realize how imperfect I am. I find pride is being able to see my whole rib cage but im still not content ive started to realize now what a vicious cycle this is and how nothing will ever be good enough for me now matter what I do.
Ive become more depressed then i have been in a long time this month. I don't want to go outside because I feel ugly like people are going to stare at me and laugh. I feel ashamed of myself. I don't even want to get out of bed anymore to work out and definitely not to eat. Sometimes I feel like I should just give up.
But then I think of what I would say to someone else in my situation. I don't want to live a life like this, a life full of self judgment and criticism. I wanna be happy more then I want to be skinny. Its funny I say that because ive always envied people that might weigh a bit more but were self confident. Ive always wanted to be like them I never cared if they were overweight I just want to be self confident and comfterable in my own skin.
I starting becoming anorexic at the age of 8 and have battled with it ever since. Ive done meal journals, fasting, diet pills [it didn't help that i sold them so i had free range to whatever I wanted]. Ive always felt like I wasn't good enough. I think it started when I was just an infant and was thrown against a table by a man which created a dent in my head and me and my brother being taken away from the home. Later when I was 6 I was raped by another man that I trusted and when I tried to tell somebody they didn't believe me. Most children cant imagine feeling the kind of pain and rejection I felt before I was even 10 years old. I felt like I couldn't possibly relate to anybody my own age.
I wanted to be successful in atleast one part of my life the part that I could control which was the way I looked I wanted to be loved by people. I wanted for people to like me and not reject me. I wanted to be skinny and I didn't care what it would take. I started to get attention from older men they could see how mentally weak I was and took advantage of it but most of all I let them take advantage of me and break me even more. When one of the men i was dating cheated on me and decided to leave me for the other girl he told me that he didn't find me attractive. That was really the back breaker for me.
All I know now is the consuming feeling I feel when I look in the mirror and realize how imperfect I am. I find pride is being able to see my whole rib cage but im still not content ive started to realize now what a vicious cycle this is and how nothing will ever be good enough for me now matter what I do.
Ive become more depressed then i have been in a long time this month. I don't want to go outside because I feel ugly like people are going to stare at me and laugh. I feel ashamed of myself. I don't even want to get out of bed anymore to work out and definitely not to eat. Sometimes I feel like I should just give up.
But then I think of what I would say to someone else in my situation. I don't want to live a life like this, a life full of self judgment and criticism. I wanna be happy more then I want to be skinny. Its funny I say that because ive always envied people that might weigh a bit more but were self confident. Ive always wanted to be like them I never cared if they were overweight I just want to be self confident and comfterable in my own skin.
