I have the same problem! I have the "wings" as well.
Tip 1:
I find if I use bold colors, I can really make my eyes seem bigger than they actually are. I say Asian single-lid eyes are awesome because of this! You can use crazy bold colors and pull them off because the eyes are smaller! It will actually enhance the exotic shape and bring them into focus. It's so eye-catching.
And the plus with that wing? You can pile color onto there!
Examples:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...bombshell2.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...blondieeye.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...er/blondie.jpg
Tip 2: EXTEND COLOR ABOVE THE CREASE.
For a basic smoky, I line my eyes first with a gunmetal grey color (not all the way around or your eyes will look smaller, the top eyelid is completely lined, but the bottom is only lined half way in from the outer corner), then I sweep a slightly lighter gray from the eyelid up to above the crease. If you concentrate colors on the lid, they are guaranteed not to show up, so you must extend the color to above the crease. It might seem scary to put eyeshadow color all the way up there, but that is the only way they will show up on me. I promise you that it won't look that scary. Then you blend a highlight color under your eyebrows and into where the gray shadow ends. Then you can finish off with black shadow onto the lid and into the bottom outer lower eyelid and blended into the outer corner, wing out the black.
Here's an example:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...abouttown2.jpg
You can add more color the smoky as well:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...purplehaze.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...eyesmakeup.jpg
Or color to the inner bottom corner of the eyelid really makes eyes pop as well!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...r/hotpink5.jpg
Tip 3: Do not completely line your eyes with eyeliner. You can completely line the upper lid and use wings if you want. But for the bottom eyelid, only line the outer half of your eyes. Your eyes will not only look longer, but lining this way will make sure your eyes don't look smaller. NEVER tightline. As in, never put eyeliner on your waterline, this will definitely make your eyes look smaller.
It's all about working with what you have, not wishing that you had a double eyelid. It took me forever to get make-up to look decent or even show up on me. If you keep playing with color, I'm sure you'll find something that works for you. In any case, I'm ashamed I linked so many pictures of myself, but I have no other pictures at the moment to show as reference. So I hope they're helpful somehow to you. =)
In any case, my only big wish for the double eyelid is so I can put a lighter shadow on the inner part of the eyelid, and a darker part on the outer half, but if you try that with my eyes, you can't even see the effect!
Good luck! =)
*EDIT* Oh gosh, I didn't realize how old this post was. D: