He's just not that into you...

[ncsugrl09]

Soo I saw this movie, and I really liked it. However, a lot of people I know haven't liked it for various reasons...I was wondering what everyone else thought who has seen it. Some people say it's degrading because it portrays all of the women as needy, controlling, obsessed with having a man, and unable to decipher simple messages. I can see that, but I took it for what it was .....a movie, but I'm interested in hearing other people's opinions.

Post if you've read the book too, sometimes I wonder if the lessons are true from other people's experience. For me, they have been so far, in a good way

 

[franimal]

I saw this movie. I generally hate chick flicks, but for some reason I was drawn to this one. I was really bored. But besides this, I felt like I didn't really understand what the point of the movie was. I felt like the one stupid, desperate woman in the movie ended up being rewarded for her pathetic behavior, I hope this movie doesn't disillusion women like her.

 

[ncsugrl09]

Quote:

Originally Posted by franimal I felt like the one stupid, desperate woman in the movie ended up being rewarded for her pathetic behavior, I hope this movie doesn't disillusion women like her.

Haha, yeah I can see that. It was kind of obnoxious now that I think about it with what she did........if you honestly do the things she did, you're probably just too desperate to be in a relationship in the first place rather than liking the person for who they are.

 

[LoveMakeup4Real]

I think the movie displayed how many women really are at one point or another in their life, it's not far fetched; women really do tend to come off as needy and at times very desperate. It's practically a known fact, men know that too!

I guess when you have a biological clock ticking you're more apt to become anxious, nothing is really wrong with that; it's just that many of us want to be in a settled, monogamous loving relationship. I don't think that's necessarily needy, it's just human nature. We all want to be loved, and because women are more vocal about this than men are they are more likely to be labeled as hopeless/desperate. Oh well. The movie wasn't the best, imo

There were some truthful moments and at times there were some silly overboard scenarios, but I'm sure they all had some truth to them, although at times stretched. I have also read the book, it's on my counter collecting dust now since it's been forever since I've read it, but I loved it at the time, I still appreciate the book!! It's really good and it's written from a man, so it's a man's observant perspective. I think all women should have a copy, just to remind themselves sometimes that we have to put our foot down, stand our ground and not let anyone use them or try to take advantage of us, because truthfully, no one can take advantage of anyone unless allowed to, this book is a genuine reminder. And as for women being portrayed as controlling in the movie, the only thing we're all in control of is ourselves and what we will permit or forbid in a relationship, so we're really in control of our own lives. Nonetheless, the movie was just entertainment. I don't think anyone should take it too seriously. We all have instincts for a reason. Overall, OK movie, not so good, but great book! I'm rambling so let me shut up

Quote:

Originally Posted by ncsugrl09 Soo I saw this movie, and I really liked it. However, a lot of people I know haven't liked it for various reasons...I was wondering what everyone else thought who has seen it. Some people say it's degrading because it portrays all of the women as needy, controlling, obsessed with having a man, and unable to decipher simple messages. I can see that, but I took it for what it was .....a movie, but I'm interested in hearing other people's opinions. Post if you've read the book too, sometimes I wonder if the lessons are true from other people's experience. For me, they have been so far, in a good way

 

[milamonster]

i have yet to see the movie
but i DID like the book ALOT>
the book should be owned by many women...i mean, most women go through these scenarios with men. and they think theyre the exception to the rule. when you might be or you might not. but ultimately the guy who wrote it lets us know not to waste our time and bet on that .
i used this book to get over a guy. i used the techniques that the author wrote and it was hard but in the end it worked...and just like the author wrote the dude came calling tryign to be all nice but he soon saw he couldnt manipulate me anymore and i told him like it was... i thoguht he really liked me because yes he was giving off thsoe signals but he was ALSO missing tons of things a dude would do if they genuinely liked you. its easy to miss those things at times...this wasnt the worse scenario and all that bad but still it helped me to not call him or see him and flirt and text and yadda yadd a when i wanted to and keep falling into the trap. and basically i took it for what it was. it does make you put your foot down to unacceptable beahvior . i dont really htink women are needy and desperate per se but often times when women do really like a guy theyre hanging onto thier everyword the same they would do with thier husband or someone who showed thier devotion to them when that man hasnt deserved thatyet. like giving too much too soon. Another thing to not e is that women are taught alot of traits when we are younger and its hard to break those things. you knwo what i mean? so for exmaple a women will be overly giving and way too nice and it comes off as needy...etc etc.



qucik sidenote i was talking to a friend i know who was reall yinto this boy and i asked her about him last night and she told me she was "over it" and i asked her what happened. as a short explanation she told me that she had seen this movie and she just got over him. so im sure this book/movie is helping peope out there no matter how large or small the population.


and also to note, women always think..."no way cud i be THAT dumb..." or "i wouldve done this or that" but you know what? we often times do those SAME things when we really like a guy. or think a guy really likes us. and we dont realize that we're doing it. we don't necesarily do it because we have low self esteem or or desperate.but he spells it out so plainly for you that this booki s like a slap in the face! lol.

 

[revinn]

I personally thought the movie was cute, and LOVED the book, but I got a much different message from the novel. I never got the impression that it was about teaching women not to be needy, but instead about teaching women when a guy just isn't worth your time and effort. I have gotten over quite a few guys with this book's techniques, and just like the author said, the one who actually WAS into me didn't give up. I used the section, "If he's not marrying you, he's just not that into you," to help my cousin end a really unhealthy relationship! So yes, I'm all for the book. The movie was really just a cute little chick flick.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

I saw the movie even though I also generally don't watch chick flicks. Women going like: "awwwww..." everytime two of the characters do as little as smile to each other drives me nuts. But I did see this movie with one of my friends who really insisted on seeing this.

I do not find it degrading to women at all. I mean they showed all sorts of women; the needy ones, the independent ones, the adulterers.... I thought it was a interesting concept. I actually quite liked the needy girl's character, I thought she was the most fun out of all of them...haha! to summerize, if a woman is offended by one character shown as needy, then I guess all men should be offended because one of the men cheated on his wife :/

 

[iadoremac]

The book is a must read. Trust me after reading the book I felt less inclined to deal with the bs the man i was with was trying to give me

 

[Doowop]

I think the movie was very pop culture-ish, and as usual it's stereotypical. This is the reason why I hate chick flicks sometimes.. few of them can be good. Even this one didn't make the mark for me. I thought it did portray women as very obsessive and needy. So it's just a typical chick flick, jus with a great cast that's all.

The only thing I enjoyed about it is the hot Bradley Cooper..even though his character sucks, he's pure eye candy in the movie.

 

[milamonster]

but i feel that those characters seeming obsessive and needy is EXACTLY what htey wanted it to seem like...As you watch the movie you feel BAD for these ladies...you just want to tell them to move on and how stupid this man is...but we've all been there before and we're blinded. It's the same as when you read the book and Greg breaks it down where you're like but...DUHHHH. Why didn't I realize this dude was a loser? And he shows you why it's not advantageous to keep chasing this guy and in the end you realize...wow He just ISNT as into me as I did. It's like a slap in the face...and this is exactly what I think this movie is sposed to show. Yeh they come off as obsessive and needy but many women do and don't realize it. And tha'ts not thier motive...They don't sit down and say...I'm goignt o call him again to see if he answers so I seem needy and insecure...but unknowingly, that is the message that they are sending and that is the way it is perceived.. And also these women are very normal lovable characters but they seem to "ugh obsessive and needy". We can see that theyre not into them..but they can't see...perhaps we want to jump through the screen and tell t hem how stupid they are and blind...the same way as the scenarios and the book. I can't knock it though because I think at some point we end up being intot someone that's just not that into them...we all have been there before...women adn men. but sometimes it's a quick thing and we move on and some people waste years on a person. I don't think it matters how loong but it's the message to take home that matters...don't waste your time (no matter how big or how small). I agree with you that it was popculturish and stereotypical, but in a way...so was the book. But i don't take this as a bad thing...As much as chick flicks and romantic kind of things can be annoying, so many do relate to it (minus the cheesiness and modelesque men and the PERFECT lines etc etchaha!) and it annoys us to watch them because there often is some sort of truth in there or maybe we've been there before...


I'm not trying to convince anyone to like the movie or to like the book...just saying i think that there is truth in it that we don't want to see...and it seems the movie did it's job if it made the women come off that way (becuase that's exactly what the book did)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doowop I think the movie was very pop culture-ish, and as usual it's stereotypical. This is the reason why I hate chick flicks sometimes.. few of them can be good. Even this one didn't make the mark for me. I thought it did portray women as very obsessive and needy. So it's just a typical chick flick, jus with a great cast that's all. The only thing I enjoyed about it is the hot Bradley Cooper..even though his character sucks, he's pure eye candy in the movie.

 

[abbyquack]

I liked the movie but I LOVED the book. It is just so straight-forward and clear-cut. Ladies, if a man isn't going the distance, he's not into you! Easy enough. I just need to remember that more often

 

[Doowop]

I just downloaded the audio book.. I feel pretty good within 30 minutes of listening to it! It is a little depressing though, because it says that guys prefer to do the chasing..

 

[milamonster]

i totally understand what you mean about the depressing thing with guys chasing. Bt i started thinking of it a different way and it made more sense fo rme. I just htink that alot of men tend to not appreciate women and chasing them is a way that they do appreciate them. When people get stuff handed to them ... then they sometimes (some men, NOT ALL) will abuse it (not ltieral abuse but not treating well or taking things for advantage) .
The chasing is good because it allows the women to actually control the situation. It seems as if you're allowing the men to be in control but honestly...that's not true. Y ou are the one who says yes to givign a man your phone number, you are the one getting asked out etc etc and you basically just sit back and he does the work. Sounds pretty nice to me. But i know that as many of us are a go getter and dont like playing games...its just that sometimes when we think we're doing good things (like chasing him) it backfires. I definitely dont agree that ALL men like to chase but many do...not all mena re alike...
I've read a few books that have had opinions about hcasing and stuff and its an interesting concept.
HOWEVER i do believe that the chasing thign will eliminate some (NOT ALL) of dating/men issues that women face. When I say dating problems i mean, issues like where you're like...hmmm does he like me? Or is he just liking the attention? It doesnt guarantee that he genuinely does but its a more likely that a player isnt going to work hard for your when he has 20 other ladies...A more genuine dude who's willing to go the extra mile may like you because well...he's doing extra! right? ! Not alwyas the case...but often it COULD be... Kind of like guys who come around only for booty calls or when its convenient for them. Of course, you still have to use common sense but i think this could eliminate some general issues.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Doowop I just downloaded the audio book.. I feel pretty good within 30 minutes of listening to it! It is a little depressing though, because it says that guys prefer to do the chasing..

 

[Doowop]

The book says one thing, and then I see articles all the time that encourage women to make the first move, the last one being like two weeks ago on MSN, on how several guys related their experience on being approached by the women first, and how they felt really good.

It's like there are conflicting messages! I suppose we have to look at the situation as every context is different.

Nice book though, pretty empowering, even though it's a little repetitive.

 

[milamonster]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doowop The book says one thing, and then I see articles all the time that encourage women to make the first move, the last one being like two weeks ago on MSN, on how several guys related their experience on being approached by the women first, and how they felt really good. It's like there are conflicting messages! I suppose we have to look at the situation as every context is different. Nice book though, pretty empowering, even though it's a little repetitive.

i know right?!!! i have read these kinds of things too so that's why i was always like hmmmm...but i htink usually the guys take over from there and maybe those are genuine guys...iono. well apparently those are the kinds of dudes id like to meet haha. ugh it is confuzzling! lol...