hmpppppp help me :(

[kimmy]

so i'm back for more advice.

there's this guy, whom i've posted about before (last time i was here for advice, it was on him then, too haha) and we were talking about a relationship. i really wanted (and still do want) it. only problem is, we've been talking about it for 4 months and i still haven't seen him. he won't make time...i guess maybe he tries but he never does actually make time to spend with me.

basically, i told him today that he probably shouldn't expect me to answer the phone for a while because waiting is killing me. he cried. and hung up on me. then i called him back and we talked for like 2 hours. i had to go finish my chores, so pretty much that should have been the last time we talked for quite some time.

and hour later, he texted me to tell me he misses me. when i got home like an hour after that, he instant messaged me to tell me the same thing.

i'm talking to him on instant messenger right now. but i think if he were to call me, i'd have to refrain from answering it. i'm working under the theory that if you love something, you should let it go and if it comes back it was meant to be; if it's doesn't then it wasn't...because that's what my mam taught me.

i plan tomorrow to quit talking altogether, instant messenger or otherwise...am i doing the right thing?

 

[pumpkincat210]

Honestly, i think you are. If he never makes time to see you what is he up to then?
That would make me very suspicious. I think it works better once you've "seen" each other and at this point it looks like its not changing. I'd cut my losses and move on!

 

[kimmy]

yeah, there are suspicions. i'm really insecure about being cheated on. and he knows that. and he knows that i, and most of my friends, and my mam have suspicions.

thanks courtney

that actually made me feel alot better <3

 

[sbetsy]

It sounds like he wants what he can't have. As I'm not really in the position to know if he's really worth it, I'll just assume that he is. You're going to have to keep yourself constantly almost out of reach until you guys really have a foundation for a relationship. Once you have that, if it still takes a lot of work, then it probably isn't worth it. For now, always make sure that you are the first one off the phone. NEVER be the one to initiate contact. For example, if he IMs you, write back, talk online for a while but then say, "hey, I gotta go - it was nice to talk to you - later!" and then sign off. Be friendly, but not at his beck and call. Same thing for the phone. Make sure all interactions are pleasant but keep them short.

 

[kimmy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sbetsy It sounds like he wants what he can't have. As I'm not really in the position to know if he's really worth it, I'll just assume that he is. You're going to have to keep yourself constantly almost out of reach until you guys really have a foundation for a relationship. Once you have that, if it still takes a lot of work, then it probably isn't worth it. For now, always make sure that you are the first one off the phone. NEVER be the one to initiate contact. For example, if he IMs you, write back, talk online for a while but then say, "hey, I gotta go - it was nice to talk to you - later!" and then sign off. Be friendly, but not at his beck and call. Same thing for the phone. Make sure all interactions are pleasant but keep them short.

you, lady, are a genius

thank you so much for that advice!! i'll have to keep that in mind

 

[Christina Victoria]

I think you're doing the right thing. If he really does have feelings for you, and thinks about you, he'll prove it. I think guys in general can just be really clueless when it comes to relationships. If it's been 4 months already, and he doesn't really make an effort to see you or make you stay, then I'd say he isn't worth it. I know that I'd want a guy who would -want- to see me, and -want- to be with me.. Not someone who just talks about it. I think you're doing the right thing by walking away. And yes, if it was meant to be it'll happen.

I hope it all works out for you hunnie.

xo

 

[kimmy]

i guess this time he took the hint. we started talking less and less, until he showed up at my house on valentine's day and again the next day to meet my dad. and then again the next day haha.

thank you all for your advice

i love you specktra ladies mucho <3