how do i move on?

[pinkchampagne]

hey girls
my boyfriend of 1.5 yrs broke up with me yesterday. i don't want to bore you all with details, so i'll keep this short: i want to know how can i move on when i have so many happy memories of him and i together? i don't want to hold on to the past any longer. he's leaving for college anyway and i'm not a believer in long-distance relationships so i think it's a good thing that we broke up. except i miss him so much and i don't know how to let go. i don't want to move on by finding another guy, it just seems more like a rebound thing to me.
how can i properly move on?

 

[missababe]

Its definitely definitely hard sweetie.

Can always do what I did after a breakup. I re-connected with old friends and had girl time. Being around friends that love you definitely helps and can really bring up your confidence after a breakup.

Hope that little tid bit helps some.

Sorry for what you're going through :\

 

[banjobama]

I agree. It's going to take a long time. Just use the free time you have now that you don't have a boyfriend to explore hobbies you might like or read books you never had time to read. Just do whatever YOU want to do. You have the right idea not rushing into something with another guy.

 

[iamgrape1119]

retail therapy!! always works IMHO...but still, I'm so sorry for what happened. Keep you chin up, something good will always come out from something bad.

 

[NicksWifey]

I'm really sorry for this. I know breakups can be really hard, especially if you've been together for a long time. Another poster said it right, it's good to hang out with your friends and just have some quality time with them. I know it's really hard, but try not to think about it. And being around other people definitely helps you not to think about it or him.

 

[MACATTAK]

Breakups are really hard. All of the above posts have some great tips for you. Also, I find that for me...the less you talk to them/have contact with them the better, especially if you still have feelings for them. Otherwise, you will be bringing up old feelings & then when they are not there, you feel like the breakup is happening all over again. It's torture to keep doing that over & over to yourself. Hope you feel better soon

 

[kaliraksha]

Well there are some things to be happy about in your situation- you guys seem to have broken up amicably. Also, you agree that the break up is good. You guys will have distance really soon.

I know how hard this is- trust me. Oh goodness, trust me- just thinking about going through a breakup makes my stomach turn. The following is just what I would do or have done in the past. Stop talking to him and ask that any of your mutual friends not bring him up in your presence. There will be a time when you can talk to him again and you won't lose him as a friend if that's what you both truly desire. Expect getting over him to take a good 3-6 months. But realize, that only the first 2 weeks are the hardest.

It's okay to feel like crap and cry and miss him and there will come a time when that will end, I promise. Lean on your friends during this time. When I had to go through a breakup I think I spent the night at my friend's house like 3 days out of the week. I cried to my friends and over-analyzed the situation deeply maybe one night but then I told myself to stop torturing myself and leaving my friends with nothing to say. I packed all of his stuff and stuff he gave me and pictures and cds into a box and put into my closet.

This is actually the fun part- you get to do anything now. I took up classes and hobbies that I had neglected or "didn't have time for". I took a dance class, I worked out, I read a lot, I would cook for my family, I watched all these old romantic movies. I started a TV series. In the end, the summer I was broken up helped me build a lot of character and reinforce great relationships with my girlfriends and brothers.

After doing things for me and not talking to him... I actually enjoyed myself. It took about 2 weeks for me to be okay with where I was. The nice part of a relationship is that the other half usually makes you feel good and takes care of you. He shows you your beauty- but the truth is you have it all on your own. You are still you, all he was doing was shining a mirror at you. You are 100% able to take care of yourself and make yourself happy.

 

[jenii]

I've got experience with this sort of thing, but honestly, I don't know what to tell you. It just takes time.

 

[Shimmer]

You wake up and you keep breathing and you keep doing what you need to do everyday and you just...live.
Work out, stay busy, take a class, write, paint, occupy yourself. Be honest with yourself about the breakup, and don't try to fill the space with someone else....that never works and only causes complications.

That's what I always did at least.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Give yourself time. Allow yourself to cry, but don't let yourself stay in bed all day weeping. I think having some semblance of a normal life is critical.

 

[Hilly]

Take this as your time. Do thinkgs for YOU. See old friends, pamper yourself, hang out with family

 

[pinkchampagne]

thank you everyone! all you girls' support and encouragement has already made me feel better i'll be smiling again soon thanks to everybody's great advice <3

 

[pinkchampagne]

Oh and KALIRAKSHA, thank you so much for sharing how you coped through your breakup- i hope i'll learn and grow as much as you did you've really inspired me!!