How to cope with death

[theleopardcake]

This thread is indeed about death, but not necessarily human deaths.
Last night, my cousin's dog passed away. I know the relationship sounds quite detached, but I knew the dog for about 10 years and have been close to her. We believe that the cause of her death was cancer (she had a tumor, which was removed, but we think that the cancer spread). Ever since her surgery, the dog had been limp and extremely weak. She would sleep all day (she was too tired and sick to do anything else) and wouldn't even respond when we called her name (before she got sick, she would be as vigilant as a security officer). According to my cousin, the dog cried (yes, cried) loudly in the night and immediately, my cousin knew something was wrong so she ran downstairs to check up on the dog. The sight of the dog was unbearable. She had thrown up all of the food (which she had previously eaten) and had died immediately.

I found out the news today and I cried like a baby. I'm sorry if this thread seems so useless and immature, but I don't know what to do. I keep reminiscing (sp?) the times I'd scratch her belly.

Sigh, I'm sorry guys, I just needed to vent. None of my friends understand, but I grow attached to animals/humans very easily.

 

[user5]

Dogs are very loyal, and great friends, so it's easy to understand why one would grow so attached to them, and I'm sorry to hear this, my first dog died when I was 10, and it was the worse feeling I can remember. I don't have very many words of wisdom on this subject except maybe adopt a pet? or just go through the grievance process, but I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Shimmer]

The loss of a pet can be as traumatic as the loss of a human relative. There's no shame in mourning that.

 

[Professor Fate]

we recently lost our golden retriever(duke) and he was the best dog that our family has ever known. he died suddenly of a fast spreading liver cancer at the age of 8....he went from healthy and happy to death, in just a week or so. i basically watched him die on the table at the vets office that had operated on him.his death effected me more than any human death has.i never thought that any death would effect me like that,much less a dog.just remember the dog as it was when it was happy......

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Within the past 2 years Ive lost 2 VERY loved family dogs. Dogs ive had for over 14 years. One died of liver failure, The other.. well the vet killed him. . I still cry over this every so often if i think of it too much. And its true, Losing a loved pet can be just as terrible as losing a human friend or family member.and theres no shame in letting the tears out!

 

[theleopardcake]

thanks so much everyone. You are all very kind and understanding. I feel better knowing that I'm not alone in this situation.

 

[Hawkeye]

Yeah-the loss of a pet is devestating. Why? Because animals they are special. You can yell at them and do whatever but they will always forgive you and come back - unconditionally.
How do you cope with it? You can't. Only tears and time.

Just remember him as you knew him, happy, full of life, maybe sitting there giving you dog kisses. *HUGS*

 

[mzcelaneous]

My fiance recently lost his childhood dog, Blackie and it was no cake walk. It was difficult explaining to our 4 year old what had happened to her. Just give yourself some time and remember all the good times you shared

 

[Jaim]

Pets are no different than family if you ask me. Only time will help you. And getting another pet to love and care for it helpful too. I got a kitten after my other cat passed away (cancer too!) and I love her to bits. My sister's cat is about 18 and we're all trying to prepare ourselves because she is pretty sick.

 

[theleopardcake]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaim Pets are no different than family if you ask me. Only time will help you. And getting another pet to love and care for it helpful too. I got a kitten after my other cat passed away (cancer too!) and I love her to bits. My sister's cat is about 18 and we're all trying to prepare ourselves because she is pretty sick.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I think it's worse when you know that he/she has cancer. It's suspenseful and dreadful to wait for.

 

[aquarius11]

My heart goes out to you and I feel your pain, as I've experienced the loss of my beloved babies as well. And never think your being silly for feeling the way you do. Animals are equally as special as humans and their love is unlimited and always unconditional. I thought maybe you'd benefit from this poem called The Rainbow Bridge. It's very heart-warming and always gives me goose bumps when I read it. Enjoy and I'm sending hugs your way.



Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

 

[Wattage]

I have lost pets very dear to my heart, including my dog of 15 years. The thing that brings me the most comfort is knowing that I gave my pet the best life I could. A life of treats, camping trips, road trips, hikes, sleeping on my bed... being my best friend.

Find comfort in the fact that you and your cousin gave this pet a wonderful life in a world where so many pets are not blessed with the same fortunes.

 

[theleopardcake]

that is the sweetest thing ever. thanks so much for this <3

 

[Pushpa]

shimmer knows whats up

mourning the loss of a pet is ok ppl get attached it is just human nature you have nothing to feel weird about ....what you wrote just solidifies in my mind that you are a good person seeing struggle and sympathizing is nothing to be ashamed of

 

[Raerae]

yup... i cried my little eyes out for a few days when my kitty who i had known for 18 years got sick and passed away. He was as far as I'm conscerned, a valued member of our family in his own furry way.

Animals express the same emotions that humans do, to not mourn the loss of something that has shared such a large part of your life would be tragic.

 

[professionaltart]

Oh man mourning the loss of a pet.

Where my family's house is in NYC is right by a highway and when I was younger we werent allowed to have things like cats and dogs cause 1. im allergic to cats and 2. when my mother was younger she had a little dog and I think it got ran over so my mom had a rule about not having a dog near the highway cause she remembered how bad the pain was when he/she passed.

When I was 9 I got a teddy bear hamster name Mario. Aside from fish that was my FIRSSSTTT PET, well mario surpassed his life expectancy and he passed when i was 15. I remember I was a sophmore in HS and I cried all night my dad said I didnt have to go to school in the morning. He had developed some sort of ...hamster disease where he loses sight in one eye and then soon that eye just sorta disappears? I dont remember anymore but I do know one ofhis eyes was permanetly closed we called him One Eye.

You have no idea, when I think about it sometimes my eyes get watery and he was such a small little animal and that was years ago. So I totally understand and feel your pain about coping with the death of an animal. I think about animal deaths the same as humans, atleast they are no longer in pain and there is so much more waiting for them on the other side.

 

[theleopardcake]

Quote:

Originally Posted by professionaltart Oh man mourning the loss of a pet. Where my family's house is in NYC is right by a highway and when I was younger we werent allowed to have things like cats and dogs cause 1. im allergic to cats and 2. when my mother was younger she had a little dog and I think it got ran over so my mom had a rule about not having a dog near the highway cause she remembered how bad the pain was when he/she passed. When I was 9 I got a teddy bear hamster name Mario. Aside from fish that was my FIRSSSTTT PET, well mario surpassed his life expectancy and he passed when i was 15. I remember I was a sophmore in HS and I cried all night my dad said I didnt have to go to school in the morning. He had developed some sort of ...hamster disease where he loses sight in one eye and then soon that eye just sorta disappears? I dont remember anymore but I do know one ofhis eyes was permanetly closed we called him One Eye. You have no idea, when I think about it sometimes my eyes get watery and he was such a small little animal and that was years ago. So I totally understand and feel your pain about coping with the death of an animal. I think about animal deaths the same as humans, atleast they are no longer in pain and there is so much more waiting for them on the other side.

that really is a tragic loss. I'm sorry about your hamster, i'm sure he was an angel

 

[NutMeg]

Ok please don't get mad at me for saying this because I have lost dearly beloved pets too and I know how much it sucks. But it doesn't even come close to loosing someone you love. I know I've probably just offended a few people and I'm sorry because that was not my intention and I'm not trying to trivialize the pain that one feels when they loose a pet that they love, but I lost someone I loved very much and it almost killed me, and to hear that the loss of a pet is the same as that kind of bothers me.

 

[JULIA]

Your post was definitely not immature. You've had a very strong relationship with this dog and she became a huge part of your life. It's actually very normal that you feel the way you do because you've known the dog for so long and now that she's no longer there, you feel as though something's missing. Death is death, it knows no destinction between human/animal/whatever. It happens and life does go on...eventually.

I know exactly how you feel, though. We had my dog for almost 14 years and suddenly she became very sick. My family couldn't afford the treatment she needed, so she got even more sick. She wasn't even able to walk up the stairs. One day, I realized I hadn't seen her for awhile so I asked my mom if she knew where our she was and then my mom told me that she had died and they burried her 2 before. I was shocked and mad because I couldn't say goodbye.

I am very sorry for what happened and hope that you are doing well. The best thing you can do is remember the time you had with her and never deny grief!

 

[Beauty Mark]

I think the death of a pet can be quite similar to that of a person, depending on what person you're talking about. A pet's death isn't like that of a close relative or your best friend, but it can be comparable to other relationships.

People who aren't pet people or haven't owned a pet often have a harder time understanding that it hurts. I wouldn't be too pissed at them.

The best way to deal with any pain is time. It's a huge cliche, but time does ease the pain considerably. Also, just let yourself feel bad for awhile. Death is very difficult and often scary subject to deal with, especially if this is the first close death you've had. This is also a major cliche, but the dog isn't in pain anymore. I've seen both family and pets die, and it's horrible to watch them suffer. Whether you believe in the afterlife or not, the dog isn't hurting any longer.

If you don't feel time is doing enough for you, some people do some kind of memorial service or burial for their pets. If the dog were cremated, you could scatter the ashes over a favorite spot.