darkishstar
Well-known member
Let's start with a back-story.
I'm 18, he's 24.
His family owns the kung fu school I go to. His step-father is the master of the school, his mom is his step-father's wife.
He is a kung fu master as well, and was a teacher of mine.
I fell madly head over heels for him about 3 years ago. I got to the school and have been there for 6 years now.
A week before I left for college, he opened his mouth, said he liked me, asked me out and we were together for the best 5.5 months of my life.
However, we could NOT let either of our parents know. Our school had a rule that people in the school could not date each other. Had they found out, I probably would not be allowed to come back to the school. Had my father found out, he probably would hate the school and take me away from there and keep me away.
However, it wasn't some dangerous relationship or anything. Because everyone else not involved with kung fu knew about this relationship. They were happy for me. I told my closest friends and my sister. He told some of his close kung fu friends and his sisters knew as well.
So on Friday, 2/29/08, my boyfriend (now my ex) said to me that it was best that we go back to being friends. He said, somehow in the future if we do get back together then perhaps we were meant to be, more power to our relationship. He was so selfless and just.. he did it for me. He knew, that if anyone had found out, I would have gotten the worst of it. His parents hold me in such a high position that if they had found out, it would have been like I'd been slapping them in the face this whole time to see him behind their back. His parents love me that much as well. He was afraid that the closer and closer we got, the more and more likely it was that someone would find out. This had been bothering him for a month now and he did this to protect me. He didn't even care what would happen to him, he was just afraid that had we been found out, we would never get to see each other again.
It's just that.. I meet such an amazing man, someone I love and treasure so deeply, who feels the same in return to me, but I can't have him? He cared about me so much, so much, that he has to do this. It's not fair. I'm crying while I type this. I know it's not so bad, we can still be friends, we can still be in love. Because that's not going to change. Hell I know some of you guys are going to say I'm too young to know, too young to be in love. But I am in love. I still am. What we had was real. We had such an amazing 5.5 months together, we didn't even have a major fight. It just ended much too soon. After 3 years of waiting and praying he would feel the same.. he was finally mine.. and now it's all over. I just can't believe it's all over.
I just wish I could stop crying.
I know, he's not mine anymore.
But I made him promise me that somehow, someday that if we could be together, that we WOULD get back together.
And he promised me.
I know, we're not going to actively find someone else. But we can't hold each other back. If someone does happen along that makes us happier than we had been when we were together, then me and him weren't meant to be. But if somehow with this new person it doesn't work out, then me and him still have a chance.
But I don't think I can ever get over him.
I thank him for making me so happy. For letting me know what it's like to love and be loved. I thank him for thinking this was worth a try. And I understand if he cannot keep up this lie anymore. He is close to his family, and if he just was selfish and just kept this up and kept lying to his family, just to do what he wanted, I probably would've lost respect for him anyways.
I know, it was for the best, but I just can't stop crying.
I just want to stop hurting.
I know the only way that we can be together, is if one or both of us was independent enough that what the parents said wouldn't matter. I just wish it didn't have to be that way.
How's that for a modern-day Romeo and Juliet?
It just felt so wrong. The break-up.
When I started crying, he was still holding me, we were still holding hands when we talked about it.
When he left, we had one last kiss, I told him I loved him, and he said he loved me too. Then he left.
It's not fair.
Why did it have to be this way?
But I accept it, that there's no other way.
The only thing left to do, is for time to carry on, heal my wounds and let us go back to being friends for now. Until we can date freely without having to hide, without having to worry. Until then, this is just how it has to be.
Go ahead and judge.
I've heard so much advice, that it won't matter. I just wanted to share. Cry a little more.
I'm 18, he's 24.
His family owns the kung fu school I go to. His step-father is the master of the school, his mom is his step-father's wife.
He is a kung fu master as well, and was a teacher of mine.
I fell madly head over heels for him about 3 years ago. I got to the school and have been there for 6 years now.
A week before I left for college, he opened his mouth, said he liked me, asked me out and we were together for the best 5.5 months of my life.
However, we could NOT let either of our parents know. Our school had a rule that people in the school could not date each other. Had they found out, I probably would not be allowed to come back to the school. Had my father found out, he probably would hate the school and take me away from there and keep me away.
However, it wasn't some dangerous relationship or anything. Because everyone else not involved with kung fu knew about this relationship. They were happy for me. I told my closest friends and my sister. He told some of his close kung fu friends and his sisters knew as well.
So on Friday, 2/29/08, my boyfriend (now my ex) said to me that it was best that we go back to being friends. He said, somehow in the future if we do get back together then perhaps we were meant to be, more power to our relationship. He was so selfless and just.. he did it for me. He knew, that if anyone had found out, I would have gotten the worst of it. His parents hold me in such a high position that if they had found out, it would have been like I'd been slapping them in the face this whole time to see him behind their back. His parents love me that much as well. He was afraid that the closer and closer we got, the more and more likely it was that someone would find out. This had been bothering him for a month now and he did this to protect me. He didn't even care what would happen to him, he was just afraid that had we been found out, we would never get to see each other again.
It's just that.. I meet such an amazing man, someone I love and treasure so deeply, who feels the same in return to me, but I can't have him? He cared about me so much, so much, that he has to do this. It's not fair. I'm crying while I type this. I know it's not so bad, we can still be friends, we can still be in love. Because that's not going to change. Hell I know some of you guys are going to say I'm too young to know, too young to be in love. But I am in love. I still am. What we had was real. We had such an amazing 5.5 months together, we didn't even have a major fight. It just ended much too soon. After 3 years of waiting and praying he would feel the same.. he was finally mine.. and now it's all over. I just can't believe it's all over.
I just wish I could stop crying.
I know, he's not mine anymore.
But I made him promise me that somehow, someday that if we could be together, that we WOULD get back together.
And he promised me.
I know, we're not going to actively find someone else. But we can't hold each other back. If someone does happen along that makes us happier than we had been when we were together, then me and him weren't meant to be. But if somehow with this new person it doesn't work out, then me and him still have a chance.
But I don't think I can ever get over him.
I thank him for making me so happy. For letting me know what it's like to love and be loved. I thank him for thinking this was worth a try. And I understand if he cannot keep up this lie anymore. He is close to his family, and if he just was selfish and just kept this up and kept lying to his family, just to do what he wanted, I probably would've lost respect for him anyways.
I know, it was for the best, but I just can't stop crying.
I just want to stop hurting.
I know the only way that we can be together, is if one or both of us was independent enough that what the parents said wouldn't matter. I just wish it didn't have to be that way.
How's that for a modern-day Romeo and Juliet?
It just felt so wrong. The break-up.
When I started crying, he was still holding me, we were still holding hands when we talked about it.
When he left, we had one last kiss, I told him I loved him, and he said he loved me too. Then he left.
It's not fair.
Why did it have to be this way?
But I accept it, that there's no other way.
The only thing left to do, is for time to carry on, heal my wounds and let us go back to being friends for now. Until we can date freely without having to hide, without having to worry. Until then, this is just how it has to be.
Go ahead and judge.
I've heard so much advice, that it won't matter. I just wanted to share. Cry a little more.
