i can't deal with death...at all...

[kimmy]

we've had this dog of ours since i was a little kid, i mean we've had him for at least fourteen years and i'm about to be nineteen next week, so he's been around almost as long as i have. he was two or three when we got him, and he's a big dog so he's outlived his life expectancy.

my sister brought him back to our house from her apartment because she lives up north and it's cold there, which was really hard on him cause the boy's got some baaaad arthritis. when he came home, he was feeling and acting alot better and like a puppy again. i was stoked, because i absolutely adore this damn dog.

the past couple of months, his arthritis has been giving him problems again and he's started having siezures again (we think) and he's not recognizing things as quickly and acurately as he used to, he's loosing his sight and hearing. yesterday, he was laying around and i was talking to him and petting him and he barely even opened his eyes so i called my mom bawling asking her what to do because i thought he had minutes to live. as soon as i sat down next to him though, he got up and stood next to me (as he's always done, because he's the most amazing gaurd dog ever!) so i kind of thought maybe he was okay. but we took him to the vet this morning anyway just to make sure.

his liver is swollen, which the vet said means it isn't working properly and is probably getting ready to shut down. they took some blood to see if they could find anything there...but he gave my mom the old "you can put him down or wait it out, but he isn't going to pull through this," thing. he gave us some pain medications to give him until he goes back on monday when they have the blood test results. he's my sister's dog, so my mom said she has to make the call and she'll be home on monday...so i'm already guessing monday is going to be a very good day.

i'm so messed up though, i rarely ever cry in front of people...but as soon as my mom answered the phone yesterday, i started crying. my best friend called me to see if i was still going to our friend's show and all i said was "i don't know because..." before i started crying. i cried talking to my mom when she got home. i cried in the vet's office. i even cried when i instant messaged my sister to tell her to call my mom. and i'm just sitting here in tears because i don't want him to die because i just can't handle things dying.

the only death i've ever really had to deal with (meaning someone really close to me) was my grandpa and i'm still messed up over that and it happened two years ago. i just can't deal with death and i'm so bummed...i don't know what to do. is it normal to get this upset over a dog?

 

[jenii]

It's normal to be this upset over ANYONE that you love and care about. I'm so sorry about your doggy. ;_;

 

[xbrookecorex]

A few years ago a similar thing happened to our cat that my parents had before I was even born. So I totally understand, like you've never lived a day in your house without him being there. It was a similar devestating situation too, where things were failing slowly, and the vet said 'you can put her down or let her go on her own'. One night she was REALLY bad, like she was practically crawling instead of walking, and she fell asleep in her litter box. My mum and I spent the WHOLE night petting her and bawling our eyes out, and now I'm kind of glad we did that, I'll never forget that night. We were going to bring her to the vet in the morning so she wouldn't suffer anymore, but she passed away before morning. I was kind of dazed for like a week afterwards, and I didn't tell any of my friends about it because I knew Id cry in school if I got sympathy from people. I cut off a piece of her fur before we buried her, and I have it in an envelope still. 3 years later I'd say I'm recovered, and honestly, getting new pets helped it, as awful as that sounds. After a year we got 2 new kittens and it REALLY made me feel better having animals in the house again. Not to replace her though! It's just nice now to see them do something and be like "aww, Comet used to do that/like that too!" And remember her fondly.

I shared my novel of a story to show you that someone understands what you're going through, and that you WILL eventually recover. As for advice... I would say to spend as much time with your dog as possible now, get as many more fond memories in as you can! Honestly just be there for her as much as you can, so that when she does pass you can know you were there loving her until the last second. Then take a fur clipping, frame a picture of you 2 together, greive. And know that lots of pet owners understand what you're going through! A pet can certainly be just as important as a person <3

 

[flowerhead]

Of course it is. I personally would be more upset if my puppy died than my cousin, because animals are pure...they don't have bad intentions like humans. I'm sorry =(

 

[MisStarrlight]

I'm sorry to hear about your dog.

I am the same way...I cannot deal with death. A few months ago my best friend's little sister was murdered...ever since then I have been a wreck. It's more about other people's sorrow & pain that hurts me (more than my own)...like, when I'm watching TV, reading a book and someone dies I start bawling my eyes out. I can't even watch some of my favorite movies without breaking down (SLC Punk, American History X) b/c of the other characters responses.

I suppose I never really dealt with my bf's sister's death (I moved home for 2 weeks & had to be "the strong one" to take care of my friend's baby & get everyone in the family through it) so I guess it's healthy, but it's almost become an obsession....like, I watched the Virgina Tech stuff every chance I could. I would stay up all night, reading, watching, crying.

I am not a sappy person. In all actuality, I'm often accused of being a cold-hearted bitch. I hate chick-flicks, but I find myself wanting to watch them. I keep doing the same things & keep losing my mind, and keep crying.


So yeah, what I guess I'm saying is that what you're going through is terrible, but normal. Do what you need to do to get through this (write, paint, talk to friends, etc) & you will be ok in the end.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Pet deaths can be more difficult. Pets are normally unconditionally loving you. They're happy to see you, don't insult you, etc. Somehow, when you're upset, they feel for you, even if they can't tell you that. They know how to comfort you, though. It's hard to find a person who is that loyal and understanding, so I totally understand why a dog's death is difficult.

I'm going to be a mess when it comes that time for my cat.

 

[giz2000]

When my rabbit died about 20 years ago, I missed 2 days of work...when my one of my dogs died a few years ago, I cried like a baby for a week. When the other one was going to be put down because she had congestive heart failure, I stayed with her until she passed and cried for days.

Yes it is normal to feel like this about anyone or anything you love. Animals become a big part of our lives, and it hurts when something you love dies.

I have always been a big chicken when it comes to death. I dread the day one of my parents dies (and I am 41, so they're up there in age). When I was a little girl, I would cry at night thinking about what would happen when they did die. Even as an adult, I haven't really dealt with death much...I so totally understand you...and I am really sorry about your pup.

 

[xbrookecorex]

I used to cry myself to sleep thinking about what would happen if my parents died, I would think up these rediculous situations like what if someone broke in the house during the night and murdered them. It STILL bothers me, and I'm 21. My parents are 55. I honestly don't want to live any more after one of them dies, especially my mother. I just can't even imagine what I'd do. It was comforting to me to read that someone else has felt like this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by giz2000 When my rabbit died about 20 years ago, I missed 2 days of work...when my one of my dogs died a few years ago, I cried like a baby for a week. When the other one was going to be put down because she had congestive heart failure, I stayed with her until she passed and cried for days. Yes it is normal to feel like this about anyone or anything you love. Animals become a big part of our lives, and it hurts when something you love dies. I have always been a big chicken when it comes to death. I dread the day one of my parents dies (and I am 41, so they're up there in age). When I was a little girl, I would cry at night thinking about what would happen when they did die. Even as an adult, I haven't really dealt with death much...I so totally understand you...and I am really sorry about your pup.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Having had my mother die (and she was the parent I was closest to by a long shot), you do manage to function again. It's difficult and unbelievably sad, but you survive it and it somehow becomes normal.

I was 14 when she died. It'll be 8 years in July. It's strange to think about her being in my life, as sad as it sounds, just because obviously I'm such a different person now than I was when she died. I know it doesn't help now or when the time comes, but the depressed state (because I don't like my father much, it was more complicated than just depression) you're in eventually eases up and you manage to get on with life.

That isn't to say you won't think about your loved one and not feel sad. I still don't look at photographs.

 

[kimmy]

thank you all for your support.

we went to the vet today to see what the blood test results were and they weren't very good...he has high cholestorol, blood pressure...everything pretty much. the vet gave us some more pain killers for him and gave us a list of six things to pay attention to and that if any one of those six things becomes a problem for him, then it is definately time to put him down. but for now, my sister decided to take it day by day so we can get as much time with him as possible.

i feel a little better because i know we'll have a little more time with him, but i'm still kind of worried about what it's going to be like if i go out there one morning like i always do and he's dead.

 

[Luxurious]

i think it's normal. if my dog would die...i don't know. i think i would cry so much and i'm not one of the person who cry a lot. when i imagine that someone of my relatives would die, i think i would not cry. i'm so much closer to my dog. in gernerall im closer to animals(i had a hamster). i love animals and they don't anything really bad. so i would have my dog ...like forever. maybe you think it's weird that i think i don't cry if one of my relatives die but i like so much more and i see him everyday. so if you're not one of the person who cry(movies, songs or whatever) then maybe someone understands me...

 

[TRUEFASHIONISTA]

*big hug*

Give him lots of love and hugs and kisses. Remember; all dogs go to heaven!

 

[giz2000]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kimmy thank you all for your support. we went to the vet today to see what the blood test results were and they weren't very good...he has high cholestorol, blood pressure...everything pretty much. the vet gave us some more pain killers for him and gave us a list of six things to pay attention to and that if any one of those six things becomes a problem for him, then it is definately time to put him down. but for now, my sister decided to take it day by day so we can get as much time with him as possible. i feel a little better because i know we'll have a little more time with him, but i'm still kind of worried about what it's going to be like if i go out there one morning like i always do and he's dead.

If the time comes to put your pup down, and if you think you can handle it, I suggest that you stay with him. When my German Shepherd died, the vet told me to go out of the room because he didn't think I could handle it. I left but felt so guilty for leaving him in that room alone that his death hit me much harder than my 2nd dog's. I refused to leave her alone and held her until she passed. It still hurt, but not as much as the first time. It was the best thing we could do for both of them...hugs to you...

 

[Beauty Mark]

That's pretty sweet of you. I don't know if I could handle it myself, but for the animal's sake, if you're there, they probably just think it's a routine vet visit and they're just getting an injection

 

[dizzygal]

Death is such a final thing, that is why it causes us so much pain,to feel such sadness when you lose a loved one be it a parent,sibling,hubby,child,friend or a beloved pet is normal.
I would be more concerned about someone who was not upset or was completely unmoved as we all need to grieve,some peoples grief is intense others grieve quietly,but it is something that we all need to to, and it is better to cry or talk or hug or whatever you feel you need to do than to bottle it up, People who dont grieve can end up with more pain later as they find that they cannot move on .
The reason a pets death causes so much pain is because no matter what they love us unconditionally,they are loyal,trusting and always there for us.

Hugs and extra hugs for your dear doggie :sangel: