i don't get guys...

[kimmy]

so basically, this guy was a friend of mine. he said he wanted to be more, and so did i. but he failed to tell me that he had gotten a girlfriend. i called him on it last night, i wanted to know why he didn't tell me and why when i asked him about it he lied to me. then, here's a part of our conversation via instant messenger:

jay: so then are we cool or wut?
kim: i suppose.
jay: i dont want there to be ne thing negative between us
jay: i tressure our relationship
kim: i'm sure.
jay: cuz i really like u
jay: i do
jay: and if i didnt have a g/f
kim: don't start that.
jay: ok
jay: i wont go there then
jay: i respect ur feelings
kim: haha riiight.
jay: ok, but its overwith ?
kim: yes.
jay: ok good
jay: i really am sorry kim
jay: :-(
jay: i just hope u can forgive me
kim: i forgive everyone. fatal flaw, always the killer but i can't change it.
jay: well
jay: sometimes our flaws are also our best characteristics

what the hell? can you say: mixed signals? what's this "if i didn't have a g/f..."? ugh. i don't understand why males do this. someone help...why WHY do they do this?

 

[lah_knee]

something we just will never understand about guys. they always think they can get away with cheating and sometimes they actually think you will be okay with it. hahaha it doesnt change as you get older either. which is why married men stray and have affairs but NEVER leave their wives no matter how many times they tell their mistress they will. who is more silly? the guy or the mistress :\ its just important not to allow someone to make a fool of you. whether guy or girl. gotta stand up for yourself and make sure they know its not cool. i think you kept your cool quite well. guys like that wont leave their girlfriends. or rather they rarely do... do you really want to chance that anyway? never know if he is gonna try to string you along while still dating his GF without you knowing. know what i mean? anyway ya guys do stupid things. even the coolest ones.

 

[nphernetton]

Guys can be so annoying...you know, guys always say "nice guys finish last", but its because they do things like that....like Lah_Knee said, they SELDOM leave their current sig. other for "the other woman", and even if he did....chances are if he cheated WITH you, he'd cheat ON you....I think that cheaters can change, absolutely, but not THAT fast, it takes a lot of time and growing up on their part...I also think you handled it well....Im sorry that you are having to deal with this

 

[alt629]

first off it is amazing to me how many of these serious conversations occur on IM......... for better or for worse. who knows? maybe if it weren't for media like IM, they'd never happen.

anyway it seems to me like this guy wants to "have his cake and eat it too," he's leaving the door open by being apologetic and at the same time saying things like "if i didn't have a gf...." he seems like a big manipulator and a poison person. bound to cause nothing but drama, which - i think goes without saying - you don't need.

sorry he's being such a rat to you.

 

[iiifugaziii]

seems like he just likes the idea of having a girlfriend, and flirting with other girls. He likes the idea that he can still act somewhat "available" and still be "in a relationship" with someone else.
Here's the best advice... Be GLAD you're not with that dude. For all you know, you guys would be together and he'd be flirting with other girls and sending them mixed signals!! You don't want a guy you can't trust. for sure. and judging by that little convo you stuck in here, you seem about 10x cooler than that guy....

 

[tracie]

Boys are retarded.

I just ended a year and a half relationship because the person I was dating long distance would never come see me, even though I offered to help with money and all that other stuff. I've been crying for the past three days about it..but anyway, you're young, you've got a lot of hotties to meet yet, so find one that is actually worth all the trouble and then hold on to him. This kid doesn't seem worth it..

 

[MACreation]

tracie i was in the same situation...either they own up to be with you and being yours, or i think u can do much MUCH better! My sis's bf (even tho they DO live close) calls her everyday sees her everyday, makes his life, her life as well...every guy should do that for a girl, if the girl is doin the same