I Don't Know What To Do
- Thread starter _tiffany
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Taj
Well-known member
I kinda share your feelings as I have strong feelings for a guy for TEN STRAIGHT YEARS. He always makes me feel special to him, but never says anything specific about our relationships. But well I just tell myself if I am happy with that, I stay friends with him. Timing is always important in developing a relationship, so why not just wait and see instead of pursuing things that we cannot take comtrol of ? Good luck and take good care of yourself !
banjobama
Well-known member
Don't waste your time. Don't go by what he says go by how he acts. If he wants to keep you around for when other girls won't hang out with him, he'll tell you whatever it is he thinks you want to hear.
You aren't dumb; you just really like somebody and like everybody, you don't expect to get lied to. If I was you I'd just move on and hang out with friends, or try to meet other people.
You aren't dumb; you just really like somebody and like everybody, you don't expect to get lied to. If I was you I'd just move on and hang out with friends, or try to meet other people.
trojanpopcorn
Well-known member
See I am going to have to agree with banjobama. I have been through something like this. He either wants you or he doesn't and thats it. Please don't wait around for him I am sure you could find someone who would love to be with you. I know its awful, I kept hanging on...and on...and on... and its a vicious cycle.
goink
Well-known member
^^ I agree.
He says no one will ever take the place you have in his heart, then why is someone else taking that place in his life.
It just sounds like he's giving you wishy washy excuses.
You're not wrong in trusting him. He's wrong for not treating it properly if he continues his ways.
I wouldn't wait for a guy like him. Stay friends and move on to another guy.
He says no one will ever take the place you have in his heart, then why is someone else taking that place in his life.
It just sounds like he's giving you wishy washy excuses.
You're not wrong in trusting him. He's wrong for not treating it properly if he continues his ways.
I wouldn't wait for a guy like him. Stay friends and move on to another guy.
CantAffordMAC
Well-known member
he might really be telling the truth. You might be the girl that he wants to have a relationship with. However, it sounds like he wants to mess around with other girls, or do all the flirting/hooking up/having sex with whoever he pleases without having to commit to anybody. Guys are funny like that--they may want to be with you, but not enough to give up every other girl they might have a chance with. So they'd rather skip out on a relationship until they finally feel ready to give up other girls
It seems to me that he likes you, but also wants to mess with other girls (and maybe even see what else is out there) before committing to you. So he is putting you on the back burner, and he expects you to stay there until he's done with all the other girls, and then he'll go back to you and you guys can do your thing. he wants to have his cake and eat it too.
I had a boyfriend once (i was like 13) and we talked for maybe 4 months. Then a few months later, he started talking to an older girl and they began going out. He told me that he didn't think they'd be together long, and he wanted to be with me when he was done with her (those were pretty much his exact words). So I waited. And we flirted. And I was looking forward to the day that they broke up, so I could be with him again. It never happened. But throughout their entire relationship, he was flirting with me and telling me that when they were done, I'd be next. We even came close to kissing once. He is still with her, I moved away, and that was that lol.
I think that you should stop talking to him. Tell him that if he wants to talk to other girls, then thats fine. Don't get angry or yell at him, be really nonchalant and cool with everything. Then don't call him, don't answer his texts, and if you ever run into him be polite and nice. He seems like a guy who'd lie to you, and you shouldn't really trust him. He's going to keep giving you the run around and its going to be a long cycle that you have to end. He is a man--he expects you to wait around for him, but you shouldn't. Stop talking to him: it'll probably make him wonder "wow, i wonder what she's doing? who is she talking to now? where is she going?" And if you start seeing signs of him coming back to you again, then I would let him know that if he wants to be with you, then he has to show you that. meaning NOT talking to other girls.
And if he doesn't come back around wondering whats going on with you, then great. It'll give you the time to be with your friends and maybe find a better guy (but don't search for a replacement for this guy)
Good luck
It seems to me that he likes you, but also wants to mess with other girls (and maybe even see what else is out there) before committing to you. So he is putting you on the back burner, and he expects you to stay there until he's done with all the other girls, and then he'll go back to you and you guys can do your thing. he wants to have his cake and eat it too.
I had a boyfriend once (i was like 13) and we talked for maybe 4 months. Then a few months later, he started talking to an older girl and they began going out. He told me that he didn't think they'd be together long, and he wanted to be with me when he was done with her (those were pretty much his exact words). So I waited. And we flirted. And I was looking forward to the day that they broke up, so I could be with him again. It never happened. But throughout their entire relationship, he was flirting with me and telling me that when they were done, I'd be next. We even came close to kissing once. He is still with her, I moved away, and that was that lol.
I think that you should stop talking to him. Tell him that if he wants to talk to other girls, then thats fine. Don't get angry or yell at him, be really nonchalant and cool with everything. Then don't call him, don't answer his texts, and if you ever run into him be polite and nice. He seems like a guy who'd lie to you, and you shouldn't really trust him. He's going to keep giving you the run around and its going to be a long cycle that you have to end. He is a man--he expects you to wait around for him, but you shouldn't. Stop talking to him: it'll probably make him wonder "wow, i wonder what she's doing? who is she talking to now? where is she going?" And if you start seeing signs of him coming back to you again, then I would let him know that if he wants to be with you, then he has to show you that. meaning NOT talking to other girls.
And if he doesn't come back around wondering whats going on with you, then great. It'll give you the time to be with your friends and maybe find a better guy (but don't search for a replacement for this guy)
Good luck
little teaser
Well-known member
Quote:
i agree^^^
Originally Posted by banjobama
Don't waste your time. Don't go by what he says go by how he acts. If he wants to keep you around for when other girls won't hang out with him, he'll tell you whatever it is he thinks you want to hear. You aren't dumb; you just really like somebody and like everybody, you don't expect to get lied to. If I was you I'd just move on and hang out with friends, or try to meet other people. |
i agree^^^
CantAffordMAC
Well-known member
well, I know a lot of people may not take this the right way, but maybe it would help if you thought about this as a game.
Its never good to play games in a relationship, but this is more of hard-to-get. But not hard to get as in a little girl game. Its more like, he is doing you wrong, so you have to play a little hard to get to show him that you're going to be just fine whatever decision he makes.
i've done this with a few guys, lol. My girlfriend used to advise me on what to do with guys, and I was talking to this one guy who treated me horribly. He was always going from "you're beautiful, i miss you, i want to see you" to "i need a break, i don't want to be with you, lets move on" every week was something new. So i found out he was talking about me. And I ignored his calls for 3 days, and i could tell the wheels in his brain were running. It did work though. Eventually we ended up breaking it off altogether, because he was a bad person who wanted to have sex with me and 2 other girls. But I was stupid and i stuck around, when I should have left.
what I'm trying to say is, try your hardest to ignore him and know that its for the best. I'm pretty sure he will come crawling back wondering where you've been. eventually, you will know what the right choice is. he'll make it clear.
Its never good to play games in a relationship, but this is more of hard-to-get. But not hard to get as in a little girl game. Its more like, he is doing you wrong, so you have to play a little hard to get to show him that you're going to be just fine whatever decision he makes.
i've done this with a few guys, lol. My girlfriend used to advise me on what to do with guys, and I was talking to this one guy who treated me horribly. He was always going from "you're beautiful, i miss you, i want to see you" to "i need a break, i don't want to be with you, lets move on" every week was something new. So i found out he was talking about me. And I ignored his calls for 3 days, and i could tell the wheels in his brain were running. It did work though. Eventually we ended up breaking it off altogether, because he was a bad person who wanted to have sex with me and 2 other girls. But I was stupid and i stuck around, when I should have left.
what I'm trying to say is, try your hardest to ignore him and know that its for the best. I'm pretty sure he will come crawling back wondering where you've been. eventually, you will know what the right choice is. he'll make it clear.
CantAffordMAC
Well-known member
Quote:
i dont think you have to cut him out of your life completely...just for now. like you said, its too hard to just be friends. I would just ignore him and be with friends and have a good time, and after you're truly over him, maybe you guys can be friends. by that time, you may not really care about him though (i used to talk to a few guys who did this same thing to me, and i told myself that I was done and that we would just be friends....yeah what a crock.) I think that you wanting to be friends with him is kinda like, leaving that door open just in case he wants to try to get back into your life.
ignore him. you don't have to be mean or rude about it. if and when you feel as though you can be strictly friends with absolutely no feelings involved, then feel free. But don't count on him changing: he'll probably try to come back into your life and be more than friends. its your job to not let him do that to you, because thats just gonna make the cycle start all over again. he's just one guy--your going to meet someone else and you won't even remember what this guy looks like! lol good luck girl, I know you'll do fine.
| Originally Posted by _tiffany
My parents think I should stop talking to him, that he's playing games, and that I should just ignore him if he decides to text/call again. I'm in agreement at the moment, I definitely need time away from him. But is this the kind of thing you cut someone out of your life over? I don't want to say he didn't do anything wrong, because he knows that we both like(d) each other and even though we weren't technically together, it's still disrespectful to stop talking to me for some other girl(s). I obviously care about him, for whatever reason, and I honestly can't picture him not being in my life as a friend...but right now, it's just too hard. |
i dont think you have to cut him out of your life completely...just for now. like you said, its too hard to just be friends. I would just ignore him and be with friends and have a good time, and after you're truly over him, maybe you guys can be friends. by that time, you may not really care about him though (i used to talk to a few guys who did this same thing to me, and i told myself that I was done and that we would just be friends....yeah what a crock.) I think that you wanting to be friends with him is kinda like, leaving that door open just in case he wants to try to get back into your life.
ignore him. you don't have to be mean or rude about it. if and when you feel as though you can be strictly friends with absolutely no feelings involved, then feel free. But don't count on him changing: he'll probably try to come back into your life and be more than friends. its your job to not let him do that to you, because thats just gonna make the cycle start all over again. he's just one guy--your going to meet someone else and you won't even remember what this guy looks like! lol good luck girl, I know you'll do fine.
Bootyliciousx
Well-known member
If he treats you like that then tell him "to the left to the left". He cannot control your feelings. You have the right to feel the way you do. Let him know staright up how you feel and if nothing changes, then change him. I think you already know how you feel.
