i just need to let it all out.

[xmrsvindieselx]

Have you ever felt like moving away and just starting over? I have come to the conclusion that eventually I will just fail in life. I will end up alone. and sometimes it doesnt seem so bad. sometimes i dream of moving away and starting this new glamourous life where i dont need anyone who ever told me i cant be anything stop me.

but how can you trust anyone when you cant trust someone you thought was always suppose to be there for you? someone who is suppose to love you and help shield you from anything bad. my mother. my own mother. lies and deciet.she has lied to me and showed me who to trust. NO ONE.

now i try not to let money run my life, but lets face the facts.it does. and the facts are my mother has been taking money from me. and my "best friend" has been taking money from me.

and to be honest. im too afraid to confront them. when I first hinted to my friend about thet money, she broke 6 of my mac eyeshadows that were accidently left at her house. she said it was an "accident". Im not stupid. so not only has she been taking my money, but swimming, gorgeous gold, my *new* cranberry, swish, beauty marked, and stars n rockets and broken.

i know these are material things.but they are mine. I worked for them. and its the concept of breaking things out of spite.

things are so much worse then what i have been saying. but i know if i start talking about them, i will break down and cry. and i dont need to thing about them right now.

sorry for ranting

i know people have it much worse than me. but all I have ever learned in my life is not to trust anyone. people hurt me too much. and its so hard to understand the fact that I cannot trust anyone anymore.

 

[Beauty Mark]

I hope you learn to trust again. It's hard when people who you love break that bond... it's happened enough to me.

I've tried the starting over thing, but I've never been able to shake the past away. Mainly because there are good things in my past that I don't want to lose. It's better to confront it, even though it's so hard.

 

[MsCuppyCakes]

You will learn to trust again. But I will say, you have to look out for yourself. At the end of the day that's what it boils down to. Embrace this situation so you can move on, don't run from your problems, they will follow you wherever you go. My mom died three months before I turned 15 and I absolutey adored her. I don't have a relationship with my father, I love him, but I don't like him. Therefore I have made the decision to limit my interaction with him. You have to set boundaries and let the people you choose to have in your life know what they are. I could go on, but I won't. You are more than welcome to PM anytime.

 

[jenii]

Oh, honey, I am SO sorry this happened. And don't feel bad for getting upset over broken eyeshadows. They were YOURS. And someone broke them out of spite. That's a very big deal, IMO.

I know so well how you feel about wanting to just move away and start over. Sometimes I just wanna disappear, and have a different life.

Listen, if you ever want someone to talk to that isn't involved with the drama, just PM me. I'll be there for you.

 

[little teaser]

i totally know how you feel, seems like anyone i ever cared about has hurt me so i have trust issues too.. im haveing issues with my mother too she has cross the line one two many times and broke the trust and respect i had for her..i dont think moveing far away will solve your problems though, all you need to do is cut the cord with the people in your life that are backstabing..

 

[Chic 2k6]

Im so sorry to hear bout your situation *hugs* why don't you collect all your things for your friend's place and your mom's place and keep them safe, so when you tell them that they're not getting another cent from you, they can't spite you. They're out of line taking your money, YOU worked for it not them. and i agree with little teaser - it's time to cut the cord on the backstabbers, you can learn to trust people but you can know that your mom and friend cannot be trusted

 

[Hawkeye]

oooh sweetie, i know what your going through. I do- I really do.

The best thing I can tell you is this- get a seperate bank account and put every dime of it in it. Then turn around and start looking for your own place. Once you do that then you will be able to let yourself be able to breath just long enough and then you will have a wall around you- but thats OK.

I have a huge wall around me- I don't let anyone see who I am but at the same time over the years I've learned to trust again. But you have to watch out for you. *HUGS*

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Gurl...I so can relate. My father has been the same way, barrowing money and not paying it back, ruining my credit and not giving a shit about it, lying, cheating, the list just goes on. I thought the same thing, If I can't even trust my father then who the hell can I trust? I even had a few other "important" people in my life who just proved that they to, can't be trusted. I just recently moved away from my home town, not because of them but to make a better life and prove that I didn't need them cause I can do it on my own. Your still young and is still learning about all this but in another few years, you'll realize that these expirences only made you stronger and makes you a better person. It's unfortunate that we have to learn these life lessons form people that are suppose to be there for us but, at the same time I'm thankful for the things I have gone through because it has made me the strong woman I have become. Tust is something that takes time to build but you'll learn to trust again, you just have to be careful with who you choose to trust and even then, you still have to be careful.

I hope everything I said makes sense and if you ever need to talk, I'm here. It always helps to talk to someone who can relate.

 

[xmrsvindieselx]

you all dont know how much this means to me. i bursted into tears reading all of your responces. because i would put ALL of my trust in you lovely people, and I have never met you. I feel like you are always there for someone in need. and i really care about ou so much. you have no idea how much you all have changed my life. thank you all so much <3

i know it sounds cheesyyy..but you are all the world to me <3 i dont know what i would do without specktra.

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmrsvindieselx you all dont know how much this means to me. i bursted into tears reading all of your responces. because i would put ALL of my trust in you lovely people, and I have never met you. I feel like you are always there for someone in need. and i really care about ou so much. you have no idea how much you all have changed my life. thank you all so much <3 i know it sounds cheesyyy..but you are all the world to me <3 i dont know what i would do without specktra.

No problem girly, were ALWAYS here to help!

 

[giz2000]

I am so sorry that you're going through all of this. Always remember (yes, it's cliched, but very true), that which does not kill you makes you stronger. You will trust again...hugs to you....

 

[xmrsvindieselx]

thank you so much

it feels so much better to get this all out.I can really trust you all here