I kind of have a stalker...

[shootout]

Or at least someone that's obsessed with me.

Alright I need advice about something.

There's this really creepy guy that I have a couple of classes with. He sits in class and stares at me all the time. And if he sees me walking down the hallway he'll come up next to me and ask me if I'm going back to my room and shit like that. It's really freaking me out. He sits in the front row in all of the classes, and I sit like in the middle. He will actually turn his body around to stare at me. I want to tell him he's being a freak and to stop it, but I think there might be something wrong with him. He seems like he has trouble forming sentences, and he walks kind of weird, so I think he might have a disability. But at the same time, he's actually smart, so I know he has a decent thought process, so he knows what he's doing. I want to get my point across to him, but I don't want to come off as a bitch and be mean, in case there is something wrong with him.

Help?

 

[Kayteuk]

It could be possible he suffers from Asperger's syndrome.

I would not approach him directly, but have a word with your school councilor and tell the councilor to let him know in a nice way your not interested, but your happy to be a friend.

I work a lot with Asperger's syndrome children (My sister suffers with Severe autism, and her school is for mixed ability autism, Asperger's syndrome is the higher functioning end of autism), so if it turns out that it is what he suffers with, let me know and i can give you some tips with how to approach him and be friendly.

 

[MACLovin]

Aah, that's creepy!! I really wouldn't know what to say until I was a little more certain about his mental health..

If he keeps following you, perhaps ask him why he's doing it in a nice way? Or say you have a boyfriend that might not appreciate him approaching you and glaring at you all the time, haha.. I dunno..

 

[shootout]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kayteuk It could be possible he suffers from Asperger's syndrome. I would not approach him directly, but have a word with your school councilor and tell the councilor to let him know in a nice way your not interested, but your happy to be a friend. I work a lot with Asperger's syndrome children (My sister suffers with Severe autism, and her school is for mixed ability autism, Asperger's syndrome is the higher functioning end of autism), so if it turns out that it is what he suffers with, let me know and i can give you some tips with how to approach him and be friendly.

Thanks for your help, I'll definitely look into that and see if it fits him.

The only problem is, I go to a college with about 16,000 people. To see any of the councilors, you have to make an appointment like 3 weeks in advance. They will only do walk-ins if it's a complete emergency (ex. suicide, family crisis, etc.)

 

[MzzRach]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kayteuk It could be possible he suffers from Asperger's syndrome. I would not approach him directly, but have a word with your school councilor and tell the councilor to let him know in a nice way your not interested, but your happy to be a friend. I work a lot with Asperger's syndrome children (My sister suffers with Severe autism, and her school is for mixed ability autism, Asperger's syndrome is the higher functioning end of autism), so if it turns out that it is what he suffers with, let me know and i can give you some tips with how to approach him and be friendly.

Great advice. I would definitely find out his situation before doing anything. Good luck!

 

[shootout]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MACLovin Aah, that's creepy!! I really wouldn't know what to say until I was a little more certain about his mental health.. If he keeps following you, perhaps ask him why he's doing it in a nice way? Or say you have a boyfriend that might not appreciate him approaching you and glaring at you all the time, haha.. I dunno..

Haha I've thought about that, but I broke up with my boyfriend. I've considered just hiring a male friend to confront him about it, but he lives in the same building as me, so if he doesn't see us like making out or whatever, he'll know I was lying.

 

[shootout]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MzzRach Great advice. I would definitely find out his situation before doing anything. Good luck!

Thanks!

 

[shootout]

I looked into the symptoms of Asperger's. Some of it kind of fits him, but then a lot of it doesn't. Can there be like a mild form of it?
I'm really not sure if he has it or not.

 

[Dahlia_Rayn]

It sounds like he may have a mild form of Asperger's syndrome. People who have this syndrome usually don't have a great deal of social etiquette, I worked with a guy who suffered from it. The guy I worked with was also very intelligent, but just socially awkward.

***OOPS, Katey beat me...stupid load times.

 

[Kayteuk]

Within every form of Autism there is a Mild and severe form.
He could have a mild case of Aspergers.

I wouldn't approach him and shout at him, sometimes it makes them feel very alienated and a bit angry. =)
Maybe try to ask a teacher? Or a lecturer?

 

[shootout]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kayteuk Within every form of Autism there is a Mild and severe form. He could have a mild case of Aspergers. I wouldn't approach him and shout at him, sometimes it makes them feel very alienated and a bit angry. =) Maybe try to ask a teacher? Or a lecturer?

I could try that I guess, but most of my professors seem to not want to get into personal discussions. I could always ask them about during office hours I suppose. They just don't seem like they would be willing to help though, I mean most of them haven't even taken the time to get to know us, and there's only 25 people in the class.

 

[crystalclear]

Perhaps emailing your tutor might help. If there is a problem like this they are obliged to act on these concerns and as I understand it US law is stricter than UK law with stalking/harassment etc. If the guy does have Aspergers, it will be made clear to him that there is a line he shouldn't cross and the situation is monitored and they can be a bit more discreet, so as to avoid freaking him out and get him some help. If he's just a nutter, it means his card will be marked. Either way if there is any escalation esp. if the latter is true, if your college or one near by has a law dept. they may offer pro bono legal services and be able to advise you, if not it may be worth speaking to your local police department.

 

[MACATTAK]

I agree about talking to a teacher. They may be able to pull some strings to get you into a counselor quicker, or be able to give some advice on what to do next.

 

[shootout]

Thanks everyone.
I'm going to see what happens next week, and if it doesn't get better or gets worse, I'll talk to my prof.
My school actually has it's own police dept., so if I have to I can get them involved.

 

[Simply Elegant]

I've been through something similar and I think that you need to tell someone, regardless of his mental health. He may not be fully comprehending as to why his behaviour is inappropriate but he can still hurt you and make you uncomfortable either way.

 

[Cinci]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kayteuk It could be possible he suffers from Asperger's syndrome. I would not approach him directly, but have a word with your school councilor and tell the councilor to let him know in a nice way your not interested, but your happy to be a friend. I work a lot with Asperger's syndrome children (My sister suffers with Severe autism, and her school is for mixed ability autism, Asperger's syndrome is the higher functioning end of autism), so if it turns out that it is what he suffers with, let me know and i can give you some tips with how to approach him and be friendly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dahlia_Rayn It sounds like he may have a mild form of Asperger's syndrome. People who have this syndrome usually don't have a great deal of social etiquette, I worked with a guy who suffered from it. The guy I worked with was also very intelligent, but just socially awkward. ***OOPS, Katey beat me...stupid load times.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kayteuk Within every form of Autism there is a Mild and severe form. He could have a mild case of Aspergers. I wouldn't approach him and shout at him, sometimes it makes them feel very alienated and a bit angry. =) Maybe try to ask a teacher? Or a lecturer?

I agree with the above posts. That was my first thought when I read your post. I work for an agency that provides therapy and support for children and individuals with autism and asperger's syndrome and from what you have described, it does seem that is a possibility.

 

[Mabelle]

Agreed, My first thought was Aspergers. One of the main things is that they don't tend to pick on people's non verbal cues, so while everything about you're tone/body language might say you're uncomfortable, he cant read that. Because of that they also tend to have problems determining what is socially acceptable. I've known a few people with aspergers, a few of them have "moved weird". They sometimes have problem with movement and motor skills, as well as stringing sentences together. Sometimes they seem to speak without punctuation.

Anyway, if you cant get information out of a teacher, i would say approach him and be direct, but friendly. Just choose you're words carefully and make sure you dont come off aggressive or rude.

Last year a girl in my program had a problem with a guy that has aspergers. At first she approached him a little too strongly and he got upset and marched off with hurt feelings. Later when someone else had a similar issue they brought it up in a friendly, yet direct way, and he was very understanding.

Anyway, good luck.

 

[shootout]

Thanks. That sounds exactly like him.
I'll do my best to be as friendly as possible.