i must be doing something terribly wrong

[kimmy]

i broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months because i just didn't feel it anymore after everything he's done. he's almost 22, i'm 18. i've always heard that men take longer to mature and grow up, so i didn't even bother with anyone younger than 20 after we broke up.

so this dude, who is 26...was just telling me the other day that i should be his girlfriend and stuff. he kept asking me if i would come over, but i couldn't because i was working a really early shift all week. i told him i'd call him when i could, right? and he was cool with that since he works too, i don't need to be calling him all day anyway. so for about a week, he answered every call, even when he was busy he took time out to talk to me. then he started ignoring a few calls. after i was off for the week, i asked him if he wanted to go do something. he said he was busy helping his parents move. so i was like whatever, that's cool. 3 days of the same excuse. and THEN! he decides to tell me that he got a girlfriend. umm..excuse me?

seems like every guy i get involved with screws me over somehow. this is the second time that very thing has happened. and my ex boyfriend, lied to me about everything. is there something wrong with me? i don't understand, i've never lied to any of these guys, never once. i've put up with so much bullshit from all of them, overextended myself to help them out or make them feel better when something was wrong...and they all treat me like dirt! i don't know what i'm doing wrong, but this is really starting to get old

 

[MsCuppyCakes]

It's not you...

Boys/Guys are like that..they tend to throw out a net to see how many women (fish) they can catch. Your'e 18 and you have the world (men) at your fingertips. Just date different men you never know who you'll meet.

 

[d_flawless]

go out and be young and date. you just got out of a relationship, so why go out and find someone new so soon? you need your freedom, you know? you will learn so much more about yourself by actually being by yourself, IMHO.

 

[kimmy]

thanks girls

it just seems like men are so overly impatient with me when i'm nothing but patient with them and i just don't understand it.

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Honey you did nothing wrong and don't blame yourself for something you didn't even do! Boys will be boys and no matter what age they are, they still play all the same games.

I agree with d_flawless, your young so live your life, date here and there but first and foremost, do what makes you happy. Surrond yourself with friends and family and do things that you've always wanted to do. You have the rest of your life to find the right one so for now, concentrate on yourself and don' t worry about stupid boys. You wont find love it you go looking for it, it finds you when you least expect it...

 

[giz2000]

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE ANTHEM i've put up with so much bullshit from all of them, overextended myself to help them out or make them feel better when something was wrong...and they all treat me like dirt!

There's your problem...take it from someone who's been around the block a few times (and back!) There is no reason for you to put up with ANY bullshit from anyone...it's good to help someone out, but not at the expense of your sanity/money/emotional health/etc. There are times in life when you have to be a little selfish and take something for yourself as well. A relationship should be give and take...not all give...and not you doing all the giving...

 

[uberlicious]

That's so true. Just enjoy yourself. I reckon a lot of eople your age go straight into long-term relationships, or look exclusively for them. You should be free now, just enjoy yourself and don't weight yourself down with too much commitment.

 

[macface]

Same over here with me Im 23 my boyfriend is 22 he acts like a 17 yrs old boy.just move on.

 

[Hawkeye]

*HUGS*

Guys are just assholes who love to play games and lead girls on.

 

[Kiseki]

The guy was an idiot, I don't mean he should date you, but ok, so he got a girlfriend, why didn't he call you and say something like "I met someone, blah blah blah..."

Typically guyish, he just tried to see if you would lose interested and ended up telling you. If he got a girlfriend so fast, it just meant he wasn't that much into you, so all in all, I think you didn't lose anything.

Being 18 years old has the advantage that you have a lot to experience, date, have fun, don't feel pressured into trying to get a boyfriend or get into a relationship, go out with your friends.

And, get used to it, guys are idiots, I should know, I'm a guy.

 

[NutMeg]

From what I've noticed babe, if you take people's bull then they tend to dish it out to you more. Don't put up with it and they won't try to screw you over as much. Protect yourself because you can't always trust others to protect you. Until you find the one for you that is.

 

[little teaser]

Quote:

Originally Posted by giz2000 There's your problem...take it from someone who's been around the block a few times (and back!) There is no reason for you to put up with ANY bullshit from anyone...it's good to help someone out, but not at the expense of your sanity/money/emotional health/etc. There are times in life when you have to be a little selfish and take something for yourself as well. A relationship should be give and take...not all give...and not you doing all the giving...

i agree^^^

 

[Bernadette]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg From what I've noticed babe, if you take people's bull then they tend to dish it out to you more. Don't put up with it and they won't try to screw you over as much. Protect yourself because you can't always trust others to protect you. Until you find the one for you that is.

I totally agree. Women, especially young ones tend to give and give of themselves even when they shouldn't and it's easy for the wrong guys to take and take. I've been there. I think most females do this until they get burned and learn their lesson.
Honestly, I understand your looking for an older guy but there is a huge difference between 18 and 26. In my experience guys that don't mind an age gap like that aren't looking for anything serious, unless they are extrmemly stunted in where they are in life.
Be young, learn to be as happy with yourself and your life as you can and when you get to that place and you find the right person, it will be all the sweeter

Hang in there!

 

[Raerae]

Yeh and guys wonder why we end up with so many issues with trusting them...

Got to love our culture... Guys get encouraged by men (and women) to get as many women as they can. While women are encouraged to look for that one special romance. It's not wonder things are so screwed up. I really dont understand why more men can't be happy with just one girl.

Anyone ever listen to Ryans Roses, on KIIS-FM?

I dont even deal with BS anymore. As other said, been there done that. It takes 2 to make a relationship work, and if he's not putting in the same amount of effort that I am, i make DRAMA!

 

[NikkiHorror]

You're not doing anything wrong, hun. That guy asked you to be his girlfriend like, RIGHT away? Well either he fell really hard for you or he was trying to get in your pants by telling you that you were an item. Girls like the feeling of a secure commitment, but the thing we don't think about sometimes is the guy also has a say-so about when it could be "over". And it's true, guys will try to keep extra girls "on the string" just in case it doesn't work out with someone else they're dating. It makes them feel comfortable. Don't let them do that to you!

You seem very intuitive, like about his excuses and stuff. Always pay attention to your gut feelings. If a guy seems unworthy, just show him out. And yes, DATE AROUND right now. Until you know yourself and know exactly what you want in a man, it's going to take practice and "interviews", lol. If you start to fall for a guy after awhile, make it clear that you want to be solo with him, (no other dating around) and the guy usually will like you enough to agree and stick to it. You have to make men respect you, and lay down the law. I'm 20, never got cheated on, and I never cheated and am now married. It's kind of like a pact, ya know? Make sure everyone knows the rules to the game and you'll be good to go for a long time.

Good luck and HAVE FUN!

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NikkiHorror I'm 20, never got cheated on, and I never cheated and am now married. It's kind of like a pact, ya know? Make sure everyone knows the rules to the game and you'll be good to go for a long time. Good luck and HAVE FUN!

You just haven't caught him yet! No I'm not bitter =P Haha.

 

[eowyn797]

just focus on doing the things you enjoy doing and if you happen to meet up with a guy who enjoys that stuff too, you'll see...

for my experience, when you stop looking and start just unappologetically doing the things you love for you, the right one will show up.

 

[NikkiHorror]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae You just haven't caught him yet! No I'm not bitter =P Haha.

LOL, no I definatley fully trust him, but I've always got my eyes WIIIIIIDE open for other people that might interfere.

 

[Chic 2k6]

Men will never mature, they are great sufferers of the Man Disease. no matter how old they are, they will always be an ass, and likes to see how many women they can get. plus they play people around too much, i'd say, do the single life for a bit then go out there and let the men come to you, not the other way around

 

[Jacq-i]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bernadette I totally agree. Women, especially young ones tend to give and give of themselves even when they shouldn't and it's easy for the wrong guys to take and take. I've been there. I think most females do this until they get burned and learn their lesson.

I think that lesson is a really hard one to learn. I thought I learned it a long time ago, but it keeps happening.