sTaRRYeYeD
Well-known member
Ok girls! So I am about 5 months pregnant. I just told my big sister about 2 weeks ago. And I feel so much better knowing she knows. Now its just telling my mom. Its the weirdest thing ever. Because Im so scared to hurt her feelings. Im scared to dissappoint her. But at the same time, me and my mom have never had the best relationship. We havent lived together since I was 14. She kicked me out a year and a half after my dad passed away, when her boyfriend of 1 month decided to move in. Before he moved in we constantly fought. She would litereally fist fight me. As I was growing up and my dad was sick with an unknown brain disease, I pretty much raised myself and helped all of my other sisters take care of my dad. My mom would party and drink alot. I know that this was her way of dealing with the fact that the love of her life was slowly dieing. So I never held that against her. It hurt me. But I was much more interested in taking cae of my daddy and making sure he was comfortable. But Ive always been so concerned about what my mom thinks of me. I always wanted to be perfect for her, I never wanted to dissappoint her. I always looked at the great relationship she had with my older sister, and wanted it. I was so jealous. Everyone says that the reason my mom strayed away from me while my dad was sick and since he has passed away, is because I am thier only child together. And that Im her constant reminder of what she lost when my dad passed away. But now Im 18 and pregnant, and Im so scared to tell my mom. I dont know how to break it to her. I mean I know that shes going to flip out and cry. But I just feel like I cat do that to her. I have to though, I have to tell her. My over-joyed feelings of being a mom are now turning into a bittersweet taste that I just cant get over. Alot of people have told me that there is not much my mom can say or do, that will make her feel like she could have prevented it. Since she hasnt wanted to be a mom to be since I was alot younger. But I dont know. Ive forgiven her for all that. And I just dont want to hurt her. Hmmm. Im sorry if I took up way too much of your time. But thank you all for reading it and allowing me to vent!