labellavita7
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Do you guys want to read it? I'm proud of it, everyone loved it!
http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1742775
Also, if you read it, and like it, could you click the LIKE IT button at the end of the article? As an aspiring write I need some recognition!! Thanks so much guys
What goes in to making reality television reach its full potential? An innovative idea? Compelling cast members showcasing their innate talents? How about an entertaining, attractive host? We are almost eight years into the age of reality television, and gone are the days where (most of) the programs actually contain these quality elements. Now I have the fantastic privilege of turning on my TV and having a variety of shows to choose from regardless of my mood. If I’m pissed off, I can share sentiments with the Jesus-loving husband who traded his spouse for the anti-Christ on Wife Swap. If I want to take a break from my schoolwork, I’ll turn on America’s Most Smartest Model and thank my parents for teaching me the importance of education. If I’m feeling down, I can find joy in watching Paula Abdul’s downward spiraling life on Hey Paula, because we all find satisfaction in everyone else’s misfortune. That’s why reality shows haven’t died.
Sure, there have always been dating shows; however, the batch that has been created in recent years go above and beyond the traditional dating game and have turned into a cultural phenomenon. Though it seems as if the networks are marketing their shows towards audiences of low IQ and no morals, I think we can all admit that these displays of truly terrible television are our guiltiest pleasures. VH1 certainly takes the cake when it comes to taking the world’s most pitiful people and turning them into reality stars, especially with gems like Flavor of Love. But the one dating show that has fascinated me more that I’d like to admit, stars a girl that even Flavor Flav twice-rejected: I Love New York.
The loudmouthed Tiffany Pollard, deemed “New York” by Flav on the first season of Flavor of Love, has decided to move on from the rejection and find love on her own. VH1 quickly realized that if a dried up hype man who wears oversized clocks and Viking hats didn’t want to be with her, she would need some help. So why not give the crazy bitch a show? And that’s how I Love New York was born, or at least it’s how I want to imagine it happened.
Ah, Tiffany, what a wonderfully classy woman. A classy, panty-flashing, cleavage-heaving woman. With a voice comparable to that of a fire engine siren, it’s no wonder the men can’t resist her. Now in its second season, I Love New York features a whole new crop of thuglets competing for a chance to be Tiff’s next victim. Each week the guys, who are given nicknames Flavor of Love-style, must participate in challenges that help them to prove their skills in many different areas. She judges their financial futures, athleticism, loyalty, romantic pasts, and any other area of credibility that can somehow be twisted into a dramatic display of humiliation on at least one contestant’s behalf.
What’s more fascinating is that the group of hopeless fame whores insists they really are interested in New York. Since each guy believes they are the epitome of man, this makes for hilarious and exaggerated arguments during the hour-long episodes, and even more comical commentary from Miss Tiffany and witnessing contestants. However they may choose to socialize with each other, we are always being entertained. Whether it’s by a dude with a fetish for blowout haircuts and tiny dogs, or by a midget pimped out in gold chains and Lacoste polos, the outrageousness of it all satisfies the audience and erases our initial need for quality television.
Though there are twenty contestants on the show, only ten of them were chosen by producers. Five were chosen by Internet viewers, and five more were chosen by someone whose opinion New York values more than her plastic surgeon’s, her mother. She is, and I have done extensive research on this, the scariest woman alive. Her name is Sister Patterson, and the competitors must find a way into her heart, assuming she has one. She comes off as an intimidating, demanding, and vile woman. Make no mistake, that’s exactly what she is; but family is important, so the men have to learn to put up with her. Because New York is her pride and joy, she is determined to find a suitable man for her daughter, and she usually hates all of the contestants. Family is something the Pollards deeply cherish, which is clearly illustrated by Sister Patterson whoring her little girl out so they can both get their fifteen minutes of fame. Jesus would be proud.
After the weekly challenges, mixers, and frightening run-ins with Sister Patterson, New York decides which guys she wants to take on dates. Sometimes the dates can go very well for the lucky ones, ending in the bedroom. Other times, it can be a fantastic bore, and you painfully watch as New York either drinks herself into oblivion or falls asleep in her dinner plate. On occasion, you can watch her do both simultaneously.
By the end of the episode, you’re so into it you don’t realize how many brain cells you are probably losing watching this junk. You have become an expert on New York’s taste in men, and have picked which guy you know she will throw out on his ass. The men stand before her dressed in their Sunday best and smiling confidently. She stands before them in an outfit that reveals her plastic bosom, smiling like the spoiled brat she is. She pulls out the giant, diamond-encrusted chains with her show’s title on them, and gives them out to the contestants who still have love for New York. This is my favorite segment of the show because it showcases New York’s amazing acting talent. The guys whom she chooses to eliminate are either berated for their behavior, appearance, or strange mannerisms; or they are let go with an emotionally driven speech about how she never wanted this to happen, complete with manufactured tears and maybe one final make out session. Afterwards, the lucky ones who get to stay get drunk with New York and the cameras are turned off.
Dammit. I can’t wait 7 more days for another episode!
It all boils down to this: insane contestants, a beast of a mother, New York’s loose morals, and intoxicated fights. If I haven’t aroused your interest in this show by now, you’re probably lucky; but if you happen to find yourself on a Monday night at 9:00 with nothing to do, go and have some love for New York. Hopefully the fourth time around is the charm.
http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1742775
Also, if you read it, and like it, could you click the LIKE IT button at the end of the article? As an aspiring write I need some recognition!! Thanks so much guys
What goes in to making reality television reach its full potential? An innovative idea? Compelling cast members showcasing their innate talents? How about an entertaining, attractive host? We are almost eight years into the age of reality television, and gone are the days where (most of) the programs actually contain these quality elements. Now I have the fantastic privilege of turning on my TV and having a variety of shows to choose from regardless of my mood. If I’m pissed off, I can share sentiments with the Jesus-loving husband who traded his spouse for the anti-Christ on Wife Swap. If I want to take a break from my schoolwork, I’ll turn on America’s Most Smartest Model and thank my parents for teaching me the importance of education. If I’m feeling down, I can find joy in watching Paula Abdul’s downward spiraling life on Hey Paula, because we all find satisfaction in everyone else’s misfortune. That’s why reality shows haven’t died.
Sure, there have always been dating shows; however, the batch that has been created in recent years go above and beyond the traditional dating game and have turned into a cultural phenomenon. Though it seems as if the networks are marketing their shows towards audiences of low IQ and no morals, I think we can all admit that these displays of truly terrible television are our guiltiest pleasures. VH1 certainly takes the cake when it comes to taking the world’s most pitiful people and turning them into reality stars, especially with gems like Flavor of Love. But the one dating show that has fascinated me more that I’d like to admit, stars a girl that even Flavor Flav twice-rejected: I Love New York.
The loudmouthed Tiffany Pollard, deemed “New York” by Flav on the first season of Flavor of Love, has decided to move on from the rejection and find love on her own. VH1 quickly realized that if a dried up hype man who wears oversized clocks and Viking hats didn’t want to be with her, she would need some help. So why not give the crazy bitch a show? And that’s how I Love New York was born, or at least it’s how I want to imagine it happened.
Ah, Tiffany, what a wonderfully classy woman. A classy, panty-flashing, cleavage-heaving woman. With a voice comparable to that of a fire engine siren, it’s no wonder the men can’t resist her. Now in its second season, I Love New York features a whole new crop of thuglets competing for a chance to be Tiff’s next victim. Each week the guys, who are given nicknames Flavor of Love-style, must participate in challenges that help them to prove their skills in many different areas. She judges their financial futures, athleticism, loyalty, romantic pasts, and any other area of credibility that can somehow be twisted into a dramatic display of humiliation on at least one contestant’s behalf.
What’s more fascinating is that the group of hopeless fame whores insists they really are interested in New York. Since each guy believes they are the epitome of man, this makes for hilarious and exaggerated arguments during the hour-long episodes, and even more comical commentary from Miss Tiffany and witnessing contestants. However they may choose to socialize with each other, we are always being entertained. Whether it’s by a dude with a fetish for blowout haircuts and tiny dogs, or by a midget pimped out in gold chains and Lacoste polos, the outrageousness of it all satisfies the audience and erases our initial need for quality television.
Though there are twenty contestants on the show, only ten of them were chosen by producers. Five were chosen by Internet viewers, and five more were chosen by someone whose opinion New York values more than her plastic surgeon’s, her mother. She is, and I have done extensive research on this, the scariest woman alive. Her name is Sister Patterson, and the competitors must find a way into her heart, assuming she has one. She comes off as an intimidating, demanding, and vile woman. Make no mistake, that’s exactly what she is; but family is important, so the men have to learn to put up with her. Because New York is her pride and joy, she is determined to find a suitable man for her daughter, and she usually hates all of the contestants. Family is something the Pollards deeply cherish, which is clearly illustrated by Sister Patterson whoring her little girl out so they can both get their fifteen minutes of fame. Jesus would be proud.
After the weekly challenges, mixers, and frightening run-ins with Sister Patterson, New York decides which guys she wants to take on dates. Sometimes the dates can go very well for the lucky ones, ending in the bedroom. Other times, it can be a fantastic bore, and you painfully watch as New York either drinks herself into oblivion or falls asleep in her dinner plate. On occasion, you can watch her do both simultaneously.
By the end of the episode, you’re so into it you don’t realize how many brain cells you are probably losing watching this junk. You have become an expert on New York’s taste in men, and have picked which guy you know she will throw out on his ass. The men stand before her dressed in their Sunday best and smiling confidently. She stands before them in an outfit that reveals her plastic bosom, smiling like the spoiled brat she is. She pulls out the giant, diamond-encrusted chains with her show’s title on them, and gives them out to the contestants who still have love for New York. This is my favorite segment of the show because it showcases New York’s amazing acting talent. The guys whom she chooses to eliminate are either berated for their behavior, appearance, or strange mannerisms; or they are let go with an emotionally driven speech about how she never wanted this to happen, complete with manufactured tears and maybe one final make out session. Afterwards, the lucky ones who get to stay get drunk with New York and the cameras are turned off.
Dammit. I can’t wait 7 more days for another episode!
It all boils down to this: insane contestants, a beast of a mother, New York’s loose morals, and intoxicated fights. If I haven’t aroused your interest in this show by now, you’re probably lucky; but if you happen to find yourself on a Monday night at 9:00 with nothing to do, go and have some love for New York. Hopefully the fourth time around is the charm.
