I'm back from 51/50

[Pascal]

Well as you all know I sometimes have problems at home just like anyone else on planet earth, and sometimes our problems can really cause us to go overboard, and act not rational at all. My whole family was fighting this past weekend and my mom and I got into the last fight on Sunday, after that I tried to end my life by taking 20 ATAVAN pills, which are meant to be a sleeping aid. I regret my decision now and am thankful to be alive. I was sent to a mental health facility after I left the ER. This was my second attempt at taking my life and my second time at a mental health hospital, as they call it. I spent about 2 1/2 days there and I am so blessed to have gotten out, that place is like a prison/hotel, it's hard to describe a place like that as I call it prison/hotel. The staff treat me and other patients like we are criminals, and we just take it, there is mental abuse in there towards people who truly are crazy/mentally ill/ and sick. Luckily I am not one of them, and my desicion to try ending my life came out of anger, frustration, and being pushed to the edge. My decision wasn't based off of premeditational suicide, or depression, but based off of frustration. I am back home now and in control of my decisions. For anyone who reads this please know that suicide is NOT the answer to your problems. There are other ways to deal with issues and address them. Thanks for reading.

 

[GalleyGirl]

I am glad you are okay. Having had experience with a suicidal family member, I am also glad you realized that its not an option. From what I've seen of you on the boards, you are a very beautiful and kind girl, doing anything to end that would be a horrible waste.

 

[Janice]

When you feel frustrated again I got plenty of these :chillpill: for you here.

Hit me up.

 

[MissMarley]

i'm glad you're alive.

it'll be the year anniversary of my last suicide attempt on wednesday. mental hospitals really are horrible. The staff treats you like utter crap, and it made me worse, I swear.

 

[prinzessin784]

I'm sorry you had to go through that! I send good thoughts your way and I hope you feel better soon!

 

[calbear]

I had a friend who went through this. It is hard for everyone and please do not ever make that kind of decision again - please. There are people you can call, hotlines, anything but that. I am glad you are alive.

 

[Macnarsandlove]

i hope that you feel better and know that no matter what happens things will work out and it will make you stronger

 

[labwom]

Glad to have you back! I know how you feel though. I am going through some pretty crazy family shit also. Seriously, thanks for that post!!!

 

[GalleyGirl]

Thank you for posting what you did about mental health facilities too. Honestly I've read too much Elizabeth Wurtzel and watched too many movies, so I've always had such a romanticized view of them.

 

[giz2000]

I am glad to hear that you are ok...I hope you know that this world is a better place with you in it...hugs!

 

[medusalox]

It may not be much, but I'm sending some warm fuzzy caring feelings your way!

 

[Beauty Mark]

I'm glad you are doing better. Please, seek out help before you try something like that again.

 

[kaliraksha]

I'm glad you posted this to open some of our eyes... but even more glad you are alive. It will just take time, just be glad you still have the oppurtunity to make your life what you want. I'm glad you realize you are in control, don't let anyone or any feeling/thing take that away from you.

 

[BinkysBaby]

I'm happy you're here! I can totally understand where you are coming from because I worked as a mental health case manager with an outpatient facility. I worked closely with the lock down facility so I can relate to what you experienced. I absolutely loved my job and my clients loved me because I treated them like people. When we would have to go to appointments, my boss would tell me to take the caged car (which is like a police car) and have the client sit in the back. I NEVER used that because they're not criminals. It was ridiculous. I really wish that system could be revamped because it is not practical and the rate of recitividsm is super high. I would find that my clients would be more out of it there than when they were released. Be safe and healthy!!!

 

[LisaR]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pascal I am back home now and in control of my decisions. For anyone who reads this please know that suicide is NOT the answer to your problems. There are other ways to deal with issues and address them. Thanks for reading.

Pascal, SO glad you made it through and are back home reaching out to others that suicide is not the answer. A HUGE thank you, thank you, thank you for being courageous enough to post your personal experiences, thoughts and feelings regarding suicide and treatment facilities.

I lost my little sister only 5 months ago to suicide. No one even suspected. She hadn't been ill or depressed or, well, we'll never know why. What we do know is that she apparently did escape her problems and worries and feelings but left so many of us hurting and asking questions that will never be answered.

When I read your post my heart just smiled and I thanked God for "the one that made it". I hope you continue to do well and that whatever prompted you to realize that "suicide is not the answer" continues to grow and foster.

Best wishes, Pascal. Thanks again for your post. I'll carry it with me in thought for a while as it has certainly brightened my outlook.

Lisa

 

[*Luna*]

I'm glad you're ok. Having been there, I know what your feeling and going through. It's a really rough time in your life but keep your chin up. Things will get better, they always do. I have learned to be thankful of my experience... it tought me a great deal about life and how lucky I truly am to be here. I hope nothing but the best for you and your family. I admire you for speaking about this so openly. It took me a long time to be able to do that. Let me know if you ever want to chat... I'd be more than happy to =)