Im feeling replaced :(

[xsnowwhite]

Sorry if this is stupid but im just really frustrated and needed to vent to someone.

Well my best friend recently moved away[to another state], but we still keep in touch alot though. She has made new friends, which is good and im glad she did, but i feel like im being replaced by one of them.

We were REALLY good friends & she was like a sister to me. Anyways all our jokes and stuff we had she has carried over to her new "best friend" and whenever i bring one up she says thats stupid and its not funny. And we always used to make up stupid nicknames for eachother and now her friend and her call eachother those names and idk why im so mad about it but I just am. I feel like she wont want to hang out with me anymore whenever we get a chance to see eachother. Am I overreacting? What should/could I do?


I probably am, but anyways i just wanted to clear that from my head. Thanks for reading if you did

 

[janwa09]

What you're feeling is very, very normal..I'd feel the same way too if I were in your shoes. ALso, I think your best friend should be more sensitive to your feelings (it sounds to me like she's almost doing it intentionally). She should be aware that her actions are hurting you, etc especially if she's doing the things to this new friend that you two used to do together...frankly I'd feel very betrayed in a way. Maybe it's a good thing to let her know how you feel? Actually for your sake, let her know how you feel...it'll be good for you emotionally and good for her coz she'll realize how insensitive she's becoming.

 

[SparklingWaves]

If she is trying to replace you in a sense, you were big part of her life. She did this to not feel the pain. You haven't filled her place yet. It's alright to do that and still maintain this "different space" relationship you have. You will bring more to your life by adding another close friend. You must have been a really a great friend. So, add many more to your life. Allow others to know the beautiful friend you are. You will have much to share the next time you speak with her.

 

[Hilly]

GIRL!! I am so glad Im not the only one who feels this way! I moved to TX 2 years ago and felt I was replaced when my bff got a new bff. We still talk frequently and stuff, but I see the comments on my bff's my space and her new bff's space and its all inside jokes and crap. It makes me annoyed and jealous. I have new friends here in TX myself, but I dont have a new BFF here.

Sigh!

 

[Beauty Mark]

That's really bizarre that she took very specific, unique things to your friendship and transferred them over to her new. Inside jokes usually happen in very specific contexts, and it's difficult to reduplicate the experience.

My suggestion is try to meet new people. It sounds like she's changing.

 

[xsnowwhite]

thanks guys i really appreciate all your comments!
yeah i think she is really different than she was and i'll try talking to her about it! And i also think yall are right and i need some new friends too.

 

[MACATTAK]

I would feel the same way you do..sometimes it's like out of sight, out of mind. Many of my friends have replaced me...with guys. It hurts, but the best thing you can do is just try to meet new people & make new friends. You can try to talk to her, but her being in another state will make it hard to maintain a close friendship.

 

[Hilly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MACATTAK Many of my friends have replaced me...with guys.

Oohhh I hate that shit! Long story short...I had a friend in hs...like we were sisters practically. She has middle eastern parents who are very strict, so basically I was her only friend her parents approved for her to go out with. Anyways, yea in HS we would say we were with each other to our parents to go see our boyfriends...stupid hs crap. Then I went to college and she stayed home. She would still use the hillary excuse even when i wasnt in the same damn state! So I thought everytime I would come back from school. she and I would hang out. Nope...just use me for a ride and excuses. I didnt see it for the worst until one night.

We used to rent "moties" (skank motels where we would party (drink) and watch porn make out with guys...whatever). I never drank...I just didnt feel right since I was the one with the car and felt I needed to be responsible (though I never acted like this at college...just when I was home). Anyways, I came back from school and was about to leave to Colorado for the summer. I had gotten a summer long job and was really excited. We rented a motie and I decided to drink..a lot. Like party like it's 1999 or some shit. Anywho- there was this guy from purdue (my college) who I was cool with (we would make out but no shaggin). He came down and a bunch of our local friends were at the motie. My "friend" was so wrapped up with this dude who had a baby on the way and shit who was in a serious relationship, that she felt it was ok to sit a fuck around with him while I was passed out on the nasty ass motel bathroom floor. I would never in my right mind even touch the doorknob of a motie bathroom let alone pass out on it! The guy from Purdue came in and decided to do his thing while I was passed out cold.

The next morning, I wake up in a bed with my undies in my pocket. And my "friend" makes a joke out of..whoaaa i cant believe you guys had sex in front of everyone. I have no recollection of this and it scared the shit out of me. It was certainly something out of my character. The fact of the matter was that it was so important for her to fuck around with some has been, baby daddy drama than watch out for her friend.

I was replaced with a penis basically.

She didnt even go with me to planned parenthood the next day to get amorning after pill.

Drinking was on me, but there is a thing called having your girls back. She didnt and that was fine. It was time for me to move on and get some new friends.

\endrant

 

[MACATTAK]

Wow Hilly..that's some serious stuff. I've never had anything like that happen, just basically "I'm soo in love now, I don't have time for you." That sucks, she should have been there for you, I'm sure you would have done the same for her.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hilly GIRL!! I am so glad Im not the only one who feels this way! I moved to TX 2 years ago and felt I was replaced when my bff got a new bff. We still talk frequently and stuff, but I see the comments on my bff's my space and her new bff's space and its all inside jokes and crap. It makes me annoyed and jealous. I have new friends here in TX myself, but I dont have a new BFF here. Sigh!

same EXACT thing here!(except different states) it sucks!

 

[xsnowwhite]

omg im sorry that happend to you hilly!
thanks for everyones input btw, it helps alot.
I just wish friends could remember who their true friends areeee.

Ive moved around alot so once i finally get a close friend either I move, or they move it sucks but luckilly ive managed to stay good friends with my other bffs.

 

[lipstickandhate]

Maybe you could take an art class or a continuing education class if you aren't already in school... that might be a good way to meet new people who have similar interests? Obviously, it's hard to meet people and develop the kind of relationship you once had but it might be worth a shot and may ease some of your lonely feelings?

I'm sorry you're feeling replaced

 

[jenii]

Oh god, I know how you feel. Hell, my best friend from high school has a new best friend. Well, she should, since we hadn't hung out in like a decade! But, still. It sucks to know you've been replaced, but at the same time, she kept our old inside jokes between us, so at least I've got that. I'm so sorry your best friend just transferred it all over to a new friend. That really sucks.

I do know how that feels, though. And all I can do is hope I never feel it again, because it's horrible.

I also hope you find a new friend to be with. You deserve to be someone's best friend, regardless of geography. I hope you find someone whose closeness with you doesn't depend so much on proximity. Because, really? It shouldn't.