euphrosyne_rose
Well-known member
A little background on me. I'm 29 and my parents divorced when I was 3. After I turned 4, my mom married a childhood friend and they had my first sister when I was 5. A few years later sister #2 came along. Growing up I didn't get along with my step-dad and I visited my dad every other weekend and on holidays. When I was 15, my dad passed away. It wasn't until I was about 18 and had moved out of the house that I started to get along with my step-dad, who I always called by his first name. A few years ago I started calling him Dad. I've moved here and there, but b/c of financial reasons, I'm one of those 29 year old losers that lives at home. LOL.
Anyway, about 2 years ago, my mom started to draw away from all of us. She started getting kind of reclusive, I guess. She never wanted to go out and do anything with me or my sisters and the only time she ever spent with my step-dad (who I will know just call Dad in this post) was when they would go hang out with friends sometimes on the weekends.She used to tell us that she just didn't feel well or feel like going anywhere and we attributed that to the fact that she was going through menopause.
By the end of 2006, she started spending ALOT of time on the internet playing on this poker website where you play poker and can talk to all the other players, where a chat feature is open. At first she didn't play it except at night, but after a few months went by, she was on it ALL THE TIME. She'd wake up, have her coffee, play poker, take a shower, play more poker, get dressed and fix her hair, more poker, eat lunch, POKER, and the fix dinner and stay playing poker until bedtime. She lost interest in all of her tv shows and trying to talk to her while she was playing was a lost cause b/c she never paid any attention. She'd sit in the computer room and smoke. I really don't think it was even about playing poker, it was about talking to people on the chat part of it.
A few times I would walk in (she never closed the door or anything) and she would minimize the screen and start talking to me. I always found that kind of odd, but I do that myself sometimes. Not b/c I don't want anyone to see, but b/c I want to give my full attention to the other person in front of me.
Anyway, it started to become almost like a joke between me and my sisters that if you ever wanted to find Mom, look at the computer. Anytime any one of us would call her on the phone to ask her a question or just tell her about what we were doing was like talking to a child b/c her attention span SUCKED and we knew it was b/c she was on that damn poker site. I called her a few times with problems I was having and got no real advice or help b/c she was too busy playing to give me any help.
Well, when she did occasionally go places with us or out for lunch, she would make comments about how she and Dad weren't close or hadn't been intimate in a long time or she'd complain about how he was never home on the weekends. We figured they were just having a few issues and needed to sort things out between them. Last year in September, she told us she was taking my grandmother on a trip up to Virginia to "see the leaves change" and none of us were invited. She was going for a week. We all thought that was strange, but didn't make a fuss about it. A few weeks later I was on my way home from my b/f's house (he lives an hour or so away) and I had a missed call on my cell from my mom. When I called her back she told me she was at my grandma's and she and Dad had separated. I was speechless. I knew things had been a little weird at home, but I really didn't expect that. She told me she wanted time to think things over and she would keep us updated. She pretty much stopped communicating with Dad and he's not usually one to get emotional or talk about his feelings, but he was of course devastated and started crying and wondering where he went wrong after I got home. I was stunned b/c I had NEVER seem him cry in all the time he had been in my life. I just didn't know what to say or do to make him feel better and for weeks I was almost at my wit's end b/c I was so stressed. I almost didn't want to go home after work some days b/c I was afraid he would want to talk about it more and it just upset us both when he did want to talk. It wasn't until after this past Christmas that he started getting better.
BUT, about a month after Mom moved out, I got really angry with her for how miserable Dad was and sent her an email chewing her ass out and telling her that I had suspicions she had met someone on the poker site and she just wasn't being honest. She finally came clean and admitted she had met someone and it was one of the guys she used to talk about chatting with! (She used to talk about a few people and a few of them were women that she became friendly with.) She swore that they didn't get "serious" until after they moved out, but when I started thinking about it all, this guy she claims she had "fallen in love with" lived in Virginia, the very place she took my grandmother to!! She still swears to this day that she didn't meet him there and that nothing happened until after she moved out, but neither I or my sisters believe her. Dad doesn't believe it either.
Well, she filed for divorce and through all this Dad was jobless because his company had not renewed their contract with him right before she left so all this time he had this on his shoulders as well as trying to find a new job. They both signed the papers about 3 weeks ago. Also through all this her new "boyfriend" packed up and moved in with her and my grandmother!! He's been living there with her since May and she informed me a few weeks ago they were getting married. He gave her a ring a few months ago and I just thought it would all work itself out b/c it was all so fast. Well, now she's getting married THIS FRIDAY (the divorce was final like 2 weeks ago) and she kept telling me and my sisters that she would take care of telling Dad. Well, she told my sister Lora that it really wasn't any of his business and she wasn't telling him. WTF!!!! So now she and I have to tell him b/c we both feel he has a right to know and we can't keep lying about where we're going this weekend. Neither one of us want to go but we want to be supportive since it IS our Mom. My youngest sister has been really difficult about the whole thing and told my mom not to expect her to go. We have both tried to be understanding and get over the whole situation and just go with the flow, but Lora and I are so pissed at her right now. We don't really talk to our younger sister much so it's me and her and Dad right now. HOW IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM????? I don't know that he'll freak and be as upset as he would have been a few months ago, but I know he'll still be hurt and upset. WHAT DO I DO? Lora and I both feel it isn't our place to tell him, it's up to Mom but since she is being a major bitch, I guess we HAVE to. HELP!!!!!
Anyway, about 2 years ago, my mom started to draw away from all of us. She started getting kind of reclusive, I guess. She never wanted to go out and do anything with me or my sisters and the only time she ever spent with my step-dad (who I will know just call Dad in this post) was when they would go hang out with friends sometimes on the weekends.She used to tell us that she just didn't feel well or feel like going anywhere and we attributed that to the fact that she was going through menopause.
By the end of 2006, she started spending ALOT of time on the internet playing on this poker website where you play poker and can talk to all the other players, where a chat feature is open. At first she didn't play it except at night, but after a few months went by, she was on it ALL THE TIME. She'd wake up, have her coffee, play poker, take a shower, play more poker, get dressed and fix her hair, more poker, eat lunch, POKER, and the fix dinner and stay playing poker until bedtime. She lost interest in all of her tv shows and trying to talk to her while she was playing was a lost cause b/c she never paid any attention. She'd sit in the computer room and smoke. I really don't think it was even about playing poker, it was about talking to people on the chat part of it.
A few times I would walk in (she never closed the door or anything) and she would minimize the screen and start talking to me. I always found that kind of odd, but I do that myself sometimes. Not b/c I don't want anyone to see, but b/c I want to give my full attention to the other person in front of me.
Anyway, it started to become almost like a joke between me and my sisters that if you ever wanted to find Mom, look at the computer. Anytime any one of us would call her on the phone to ask her a question or just tell her about what we were doing was like talking to a child b/c her attention span SUCKED and we knew it was b/c she was on that damn poker site. I called her a few times with problems I was having and got no real advice or help b/c she was too busy playing to give me any help.
Well, when she did occasionally go places with us or out for lunch, she would make comments about how she and Dad weren't close or hadn't been intimate in a long time or she'd complain about how he was never home on the weekends. We figured they were just having a few issues and needed to sort things out between them. Last year in September, she told us she was taking my grandmother on a trip up to Virginia to "see the leaves change" and none of us were invited. She was going for a week. We all thought that was strange, but didn't make a fuss about it. A few weeks later I was on my way home from my b/f's house (he lives an hour or so away) and I had a missed call on my cell from my mom. When I called her back she told me she was at my grandma's and she and Dad had separated. I was speechless. I knew things had been a little weird at home, but I really didn't expect that. She told me she wanted time to think things over and she would keep us updated. She pretty much stopped communicating with Dad and he's not usually one to get emotional or talk about his feelings, but he was of course devastated and started crying and wondering where he went wrong after I got home. I was stunned b/c I had NEVER seem him cry in all the time he had been in my life. I just didn't know what to say or do to make him feel better and for weeks I was almost at my wit's end b/c I was so stressed. I almost didn't want to go home after work some days b/c I was afraid he would want to talk about it more and it just upset us both when he did want to talk. It wasn't until after this past Christmas that he started getting better.
BUT, about a month after Mom moved out, I got really angry with her for how miserable Dad was and sent her an email chewing her ass out and telling her that I had suspicions she had met someone on the poker site and she just wasn't being honest. She finally came clean and admitted she had met someone and it was one of the guys she used to talk about chatting with! (She used to talk about a few people and a few of them were women that she became friendly with.) She swore that they didn't get "serious" until after they moved out, but when I started thinking about it all, this guy she claims she had "fallen in love with" lived in Virginia, the very place she took my grandmother to!! She still swears to this day that she didn't meet him there and that nothing happened until after she moved out, but neither I or my sisters believe her. Dad doesn't believe it either.
Well, she filed for divorce and through all this Dad was jobless because his company had not renewed their contract with him right before she left so all this time he had this on his shoulders as well as trying to find a new job. They both signed the papers about 3 weeks ago. Also through all this her new "boyfriend" packed up and moved in with her and my grandmother!! He's been living there with her since May and she informed me a few weeks ago they were getting married. He gave her a ring a few months ago and I just thought it would all work itself out b/c it was all so fast. Well, now she's getting married THIS FRIDAY (the divorce was final like 2 weeks ago) and she kept telling me and my sisters that she would take care of telling Dad. Well, she told my sister Lora that it really wasn't any of his business and she wasn't telling him. WTF!!!! So now she and I have to tell him b/c we both feel he has a right to know and we can't keep lying about where we're going this weekend. Neither one of us want to go but we want to be supportive since it IS our Mom. My youngest sister has been really difficult about the whole thing and told my mom not to expect her to go. We have both tried to be understanding and get over the whole situation and just go with the flow, but Lora and I are so pissed at her right now. We don't really talk to our younger sister much so it's me and her and Dad right now. HOW IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM????? I don't know that he'll freak and be as upset as he would have been a few months ago, but I know he'll still be hurt and upset. WHAT DO I DO? Lora and I both feel it isn't our place to tell him, it's up to Mom but since she is being a major bitch, I guess we HAVE to. HELP!!!!!
