MsCuppyCakes
Well-known member
What are your thoughts on calling or being called a bitch by your girlfriend(s), i.e. "What's up bitches?" Does this give men or anyone license to call women bitch(s) if they hear women addressing one another this way?
In light of Imus being fired...
- Thread starter MsCuppyCakes
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blueyedlady87
Well-known member
I would never let anyone call me a bitch 'in fun' to me it's the like the n word. It's used as a friendly term but think of the history! B*tch is one of the most disrespectful things that can be said to a woman and I don't think there's anything fun about that. I was raised in a house where respect for others was *very* important. By girls calling eachother that it makes it seem like it's ok for guys to call us that. Similiar to when black people say the n word and whites think it's fine to use. Just my thoughts on the issue.
MAC is love
Well-known member
One of my teachers always used to tell the girls that when we use words like 'slut', 'bitch', 'hoe', etc. towards each other, we are giving men the right to call us the same names. eh, I guess it depends on who you're talking to.
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Well, on one hand, I hate it when people call me any pet/nicknames when they're not my friends. Stuff like dear, honey, shortie, whatever. Just because my friends call me that doesn't give you the right to. I think you technically use the same argument for those names and that certain people are allowed to call you certain things, like your mother calling you by your full name.
I still don't want people calling me stuff like "slut", "ho", etc. Basically, I've had those words used against me too many times by people attempting to be insulting that I can't really disassociate the meaning of the insulters from my friends.
What do you think of people referring to items as their "slutty skirt" for instance?
I still don't want people calling me stuff like "slut", "ho", etc. Basically, I've had those words used against me too many times by people attempting to be insulting that I can't really disassociate the meaning of the insulters from my friends.
What do you think of people referring to items as their "slutty skirt" for instance?
MsCuppyCakes
Well-known member
I don't know what "slutty skirt" means. But I can say that when I was a teen and my girlfriends would spout off the "cool" and "in" language/terms, such as Bitch, etc. I quickly let them know not to call me that. I did not and do not call my friends out of their name. I am, now, very cognizant of not calling another woman out of her name. I prefer to compliment women, "that lipstick, make-up, outfit, looks great," etc., instead of making a negative comment. Or just not say anything at all.
Raerae
Well-known member
Quote:
lol... like calling some eye makeup, "pornstar eyes" ? lol? Or my "fuck me skirt"?
I think we've reached a point in the evolution of our language where the context/people involved/etc mean more than the word itself. So you get the confusing double standard where I can say this and that, she can say this and that, but you, you can't say this and that, even though we call each other this and that all the time.
All these words are so overused that they take on so many different meanings. So it really comes down to how it's said, the context of the conversation, tone of voice, whatever to decipher the real meaning.
Language is complicated.
Originally Posted by Beauty Mark
What do you think of people referring to items as their "slutty skirt" for instance? |
lol... like calling some eye makeup, "pornstar eyes" ? lol? Or my "fuck me skirt"?
I think we've reached a point in the evolution of our language where the context/people involved/etc mean more than the word itself. So you get the confusing double standard where I can say this and that, she can say this and that, but you, you can't say this and that, even though we call each other this and that all the time.
All these words are so overused that they take on so many different meanings. So it really comes down to how it's said, the context of the conversation, tone of voice, whatever to decipher the real meaning.
Language is complicated.
little teaser
Well-known member
no i dont play like that.. it sounds ignorant. bitch ho or when white kids calling each other N*gga.... WTF
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Quote:
Exactly. There are women I know who are all "don't call me a ho" and how derogatory those terms are then go on to describe a certain article of clothing as their "ho shoes" or whatever have you.
MsCuppyCakes- People use that to describe their most sexual looking clothes. Think barely there mini skirts, tops that are showing as much cleavage as possible and look like they could burst at the seams, what my friends and I call "stripper shoes" (huge plastic platforms with stilettos)
Yeah, language is complex, as well as people's actions.
| like calling some eye makeup, "pornstar eyes" ? lol? Or my "fuck me skirt"? |
Exactly. There are women I know who are all "don't call me a ho" and how derogatory those terms are then go on to describe a certain article of clothing as their "ho shoes" or whatever have you.
MsCuppyCakes- People use that to describe their most sexual looking clothes. Think barely there mini skirts, tops that are showing as much cleavage as possible and look like they could burst at the seams, what my friends and I call "stripper shoes" (huge plastic platforms with stilettos)
Yeah, language is complex, as well as people's actions.
MiCHiE
Well-known member
It's so disrespectful and stupid. A girl I went to Cosmetology school with made the mistake of calling me "Bitch", as if my mother named me that. She got a tongue lashing like no other. I hear women talk like that all the time---in public, at that. Just think if a man wanted to talk to one of them and said, "Hey, Bitch! That's what you go by? Let me holler at you for a minute, Bitch!"
Priceless.
Priceless.
Raerae
Well-known member
Quote:
If a man said that it would be disrespectful. It's like the N word. And how blacks can say it to other blacks and it's OK.
I can call my friends bitches. You or anyone else, can't.
It REALLY depends on the person though. I know plenty of people I am friends with that I would never call a bitch. But then there are some other friends that I'm a lot closer with, and they are the type of girls that it's ok to say it around.
| Originally Posted by ♥MiCHiE♥
"Hey, Bitch! That's what you go by? Let me holler at you for a minute, Bitch!" |
If a man said that it would be disrespectful. It's like the N word. And how blacks can say it to other blacks and it's OK.
I can call my friends bitches. You or anyone else, can't.
It REALLY depends on the person though. I know plenty of people I am friends with that I would never call a bitch. But then there are some other friends that I'm a lot closer with, and they are the type of girls that it's ok to say it around.
Raerae
Well-known member
It's just like with regards to the Rutgers Basketball team. Anyone wanna bet if you took one of their I-Pods, it would be FULL of all the popular hip-hop music that calls women bitches and ho's?
There are lots of double standards in language today, because words that USED to mean one thing, and one thing ONLY, now have a lot of meanings. Some good, some bad.
There are lots of double standards in language today, because words that USED to mean one thing, and one thing ONLY, now have a lot of meanings. Some good, some bad.
Raerae
Well-known member
Quote:
<shrug> You could argue that by supporting music and artists that promote violence and disrespect towards women in many of their songs that you are supporting and encourageing that type of behavior.
Chris Rock had a great satire on rap music, and especially about the women who dance to it in the clubs. And how they feel it's ok to generalise women on the whole as "bitches, ho's, tricks, skirts, whatever" as long as your not speaking specifically to them.
No offense hun, but they are calling you out of your name. If you think men who buy into this lifestyle dont talk about women, wives, girlfriends, etc in the SAME was as they do on their albums, your kidding yourself. Or is it ok if he calls you his bitch, but only when he's with his boys?
It's not some act that they put on when their recording, and turn it off when they walk out of the studio. And the guys who listen to them and idolize them, ARE influenced by the lyrics. Just like we as women are desensitized to the lyrics.
| Originally Posted by ♥MiCHiE♥
I have a lot of NWA, Eazy-E, 10 K.A.N etc....on my iPod. That doesn't give men or women the right to call me out of my name. Hell, I know a lot of sinners that only listen to Gospel music... |
<shrug> You could argue that by supporting music and artists that promote violence and disrespect towards women in many of their songs that you are supporting and encourageing that type of behavior.
Chris Rock had a great satire on rap music, and especially about the women who dance to it in the clubs. And how they feel it's ok to generalise women on the whole as "bitches, ho's, tricks, skirts, whatever" as long as your not speaking specifically to them.
No offense hun, but they are calling you out of your name. If you think men who buy into this lifestyle dont talk about women, wives, girlfriends, etc in the SAME was as they do on their albums, your kidding yourself. Or is it ok if he calls you his bitch, but only when he's with his boys?
It's not some act that they put on when their recording, and turn it off when they walk out of the studio. And the guys who listen to them and idolize them, ARE influenced by the lyrics. Just like we as women are desensitized to the lyrics.
sexypuma
Well-known member
ITA. That's the main reason i don't even listen to rap music or go to club that plays that type of music (yeah i am that extreme) but the main point is as long as you are buying their CDs, dancing to their music etc you are saying that it is ok for people to refer to you by those derogatory names. Those artists could convey the same message (whatever it is) without calling anybody a nigga, a bitch or a whore. What makes it for 50cents but guy X to call us bitches?
little teaser
Well-known member
ITA with raerae and sexypuma
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Quote:
But when does it become okay for the meaning to switch and that we're desensitized? Nigga, ho, slut, cunt, bitch, chinky (I've had that in reference to how your eyes look after smoking weed), trailer trash, etc. still have really bad connotations to the general public.
Would it be more okay if the casual use of Bitch/slut/ho started from a woman than from a man? I've read interesting theory (which is theory only, so I don't know how it actually holds up in the real world) about by using these words casually, you take away the hurtful power somehow from the other party or you're trying to turn a negative into a positive.
In our casual language use, it's interesting that we refer to people as Nazis and we literally don't mean "followers of Hitler" or whatever the convoluted definition is but someone who's extremely rigid. Or how people use rape in a non-sexual way, like "I was raped on that test." Are we trying to desensitize those words by not using them properly or in original ways?
I will agree that words do change their initial meanings (love reading about that), but the words I thought of off the top of my head didn't go negative to positive.
| There are lots of double standards in language today, because words that USED to mean one thing, and one thing ONLY, now have a lot of meanings. Some good, some bad. |
But when does it become okay for the meaning to switch and that we're desensitized? Nigga, ho, slut, cunt, bitch, chinky (I've had that in reference to how your eyes look after smoking weed), trailer trash, etc. still have really bad connotations to the general public.
Would it be more okay if the casual use of Bitch/slut/ho started from a woman than from a man? I've read interesting theory (which is theory only, so I don't know how it actually holds up in the real world) about by using these words casually, you take away the hurtful power somehow from the other party or you're trying to turn a negative into a positive.
In our casual language use, it's interesting that we refer to people as Nazis and we literally don't mean "followers of Hitler" or whatever the convoluted definition is but someone who's extremely rigid. Or how people use rape in a non-sexual way, like "I was raped on that test." Are we trying to desensitize those words by not using them properly or in original ways?
I will agree that words do change their initial meanings (love reading about that), but the words I thought of off the top of my head didn't go negative to positive.
Raerae
Well-known member
Quote:
It's hard to say... You can try to change their meanings, but they can still be hurtful, it really depends on the context that they are used in. If anything it really depends on if they have power over you at the time they are said.
| Originally Posted by Beauty Mark
Would it be more okay if the casual use of Bitch/slut/ho started from a woman than from a man? I've read interesting theory (which is theory only, so I don't know how it actually holds up in the real world) about by using these words casually, you take away the hurtful power somehow from the other party or you're trying to turn a negative into a positive. In our casual language use, it's interesting that we refer to people as Nazis and we literally don't mean "followers of Hitler" or whatever the convoluted definition is but someone who's extremely rigid. Or how people use rape in a non-sexual way, like "I was raped on that test." Are we trying to desensitize those words by not using them properly or in original ways? I will agree that words do change their initial meanings (love reading about that), but the words I thought of off the top of my head didn't go negative to positive. |
It's hard to say... You can try to change their meanings, but they can still be hurtful, it really depends on the context that they are used in. If anything it really depends on if they have power over you at the time they are said.
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Quote:
I meant the general public, since most anything can be offensive to at least one person.
I was thinking along the lines of Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues and how the one tries to reclaim "cunt." Or how, in certain gay circles, lesbians can get away with describing someone as a dyke and not intend to be offensive.
| Originally Posted by Raerae
It's hard to say... You can try to change their meanings, but they can still be hurtful, it really depends on the context that they are used in. If anything it really depends on if they have power over you at the time they are said. |
I meant the general public, since most anything can be offensive to at least one person.
I was thinking along the lines of Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues and how the one tries to reclaim "cunt." Or how, in certain gay circles, lesbians can get away with describing someone as a dyke and not intend to be offensive.
