Is He Worth Waiting For?

[shimmyshimmyya]

Hey guys!


Let me start by saying that I'm extremely picky when it comes to guys and dating. It's rare that I'm really attracted to someone but I'm in a "situation" with someone that I've liked for some time, but I'm really confused about it.

I met him back in 2003 during break (we're both from the same town, but went to school in different cities) and we've talked off and on since then. In the beginning I felt like he was looking for more a relationship, but as time went on, we were more on "friendly terms". For awhile, we stopped talking and both had other relationships, but I couldn't stop thinking about him and something told me that we were meant to be together. It just so happened that he contacted me and we started talking again.

Here's the situation, I was happy that we were talking again, but after awhile I didn't know if it was going to anywhere and I was thinking that maybe we are suppose to be friends and that's it. Besides, he was going overseas for a couple of months and we REALLY wouldn't see each other. But before he leaves he tells me that we'd be together if we lived in the same town (we never have, but I did plan on moving to his town later on this year) that he wanted me to wait for him when he comes back. I was surprised because I felt like this came out of nowhere.

In all honesty, we have been "talking" more than "dating". We really haven't dated this whole time we've known each other. And I feel if he wants us to be together, why won't he be with me now? My friends think this whole thing is stupid and I shouldn't be waiting around for someone. They think if he really wants to be with me, he would be with me now, no matter what.

What do ya'll think? Am I reading too much into this? Is it stupid?

 

[mtrimier]

that's so weird. that sounds exactly like my situation, but without the overseas part. i've known this person since '95, though, and it's nerve wracking to say the least, and I am not really one to advise.

On that note, I will tell you what I am doing. I am giving him a "get it together date" in my head. No ultimatums or anything, just giving him enough rope I suppose. I figure if he really wants me, he'll do just that. get it together and come to me with an offer. if it's meant to be it will be, but i'm not going to lose sleep over it.

LOL. I sound like I am buying a car!

Anyway, I'm just going to let things play out and see what happens. As hard as it is to not overanalyze and over think the situation, the best thing I can say is to relax. I also think about the saying about receiving more with an open hand than a closed fist...or something like that.

Things/the universe/whatever work out on their own timetable, no matter how bad/fast we want results.

Good luck!

 

[StArCaNdY]

I'm in a similar situation myself. I'm a hopeless romantic and if you feel you and your "friend" could have something special then i would wait for him. He may not want anything serious while he's overseas to not complicate things or he wants to make things official in person. Try not to over think things and focus on yourself in the meantime. Make sure he really wants to be with you though so you don't wait in vain. Good luck

 

[Beauty Mark]

I think that's asking an awful lot out of a person you aren't even dating. He may be getting anxiety over going overseas and wants to have you around in a sense.

I'd be inclined to talk to him about it, if I were you.

 

[shimmyshimmyya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark I think that's asking an awful lot out of a person you aren't even dating. He may be getting anxiety over going overseas and wants to have you around in a sense. I'd be inclined to talk to him about it, if I were you.

True. When he told me that, I thought it came out of nowhere. I asked where did this come from, he said he thought I was a good girl and that we had a lot in common....

I dunno. I just think if you feel this way about a person and you want to be with them, distance shouldn't matter.

It's strange, even after all of this, we talk to each other every so often, and it feels like we never had that talk....weird.