jsmith
New member
Please give me your honest thoughts since I don't want to have a wrong opinion about this man.
I'm in my early 20's, and he's already in his 70's. I've known him for about 6, 7 years from my workplace, which is a university related environment. He is a very knowledgeable and well respected person (at least from what I know). He occasionally takes me out to lunch and always gives me birthday and Christmas gifts over the years. They are not expensive presents, mostly classical CD's, books, pictures of nature that he took and developed. I always returned the favor by buying something for him on his birthday and Christmas. He often mentioned that he wanted to help me enrich my knowledge, since he thought that my friends and the people I was around were narrow. He also offered to introduce me to some foreign exchange students around my age that he knew.
I always want to think of him like my mentor, since he is an intelligent man who knows a lot about science, arts, and languages. Most of our conversations were about things like that. I didn't want to talk to him too much about his or my personal life, except on a few occasions. Overall, I enjoyed his company, but I wasn't really comfortable when he often offered to hold my hand when we walked or gave me kisses on my cheeks when we said goodbye (I already gave him friendly hugs). I tried not to think too much about it since he had actually lived in Europe a couple years when he was younger, so maybe it became his habit. He sometimes joked that I would be his trophy girlfriend, and I always told myself that it was just a joke.
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me recently, so I was sad and shed tears when I talked about it. I needed people to listen, analyze, and give me their opinions about my break-up, and since I'd already bored my family and close friends about it, I decided to talk to him, just to hear another male perspective. I went over to his house around 8 - 8:30 p.m. after my shift from work. That was the first time I went to his house. He made me some tea, turned on some classical music, gave me a tour around the house. I saw some nude pictures of women on the walls, but I tried to brush if off. Finally, we sat down and talked about my problem. I didn't understand why he dimmed the lights, but then again, I tried to brush if off and focused on my story. By the time we talked about it, I was pretty much over the break-up and realized that it was not a big deal anymore. I wasn't acting angry, crying, or looking desperate at all. I just wanted to analyze things and get his opinion about my ex-boyfriend.
I talked about my relationship for a while. He asked me what type of man that I was looking for. I told him my preferences. He then asked me if I found him "sexy". I thought that was a joke, and didn't want to make him feel bad, so I said yes and kept on talking about my problem. After awhile, he asked me how the sex was. I was uncomfortable, just briefly told him that my ex was unable to give me an orgasm. I told him that I just wanted to know about my ex's feelings for me, since I knew that my ex was inexperienced and of course, must have not been that into me at the end of the relationship to actually try making it better. I tried to steer away from talking about sex for two or three times, but he kept on talking about how a man should "make love" to a woman. He went on and on for about 10 minutes, then suddenly, he talked about oral sex and told me that he had been able to give a woman multiple orgasms for 1.5 - 2 hours, and how the whole process only seemed like 5 minutes for him. He even went on to vaguely describe oral sex, but I won't type it here. The whole time, he repeatedly said that he didn't want to turn me on, just wanted to give me an idea how a man should be able to do that. I forgot to add that he'd usually mentioned to take me to Europe and show me around. He even said that again that night, while just a couple minutes earlier, he'd told me that my idea of going to NYC alone with one of my close guy friends would make that guy think that it was an invitation to something else.
Nothing bad happened that night, I went home safely. I just received two emails from him, but I haven't replied yet. The first one was to thank me about my long and open conversation, and how he hoped he gave me some useful information. The second one was like "food for thoughts" (the ones that you usually find in chained emails about friendship, relationship...). He told me to keep in touch in both emails.
I don't know what to think. It'd be sad if I cut all contacts with him and he is actually a good person. At the same time, I don't want to put myself in danger if he is not.
Thank you for reading and helping.
I'm in my early 20's, and he's already in his 70's. I've known him for about 6, 7 years from my workplace, which is a university related environment. He is a very knowledgeable and well respected person (at least from what I know). He occasionally takes me out to lunch and always gives me birthday and Christmas gifts over the years. They are not expensive presents, mostly classical CD's, books, pictures of nature that he took and developed. I always returned the favor by buying something for him on his birthday and Christmas. He often mentioned that he wanted to help me enrich my knowledge, since he thought that my friends and the people I was around were narrow. He also offered to introduce me to some foreign exchange students around my age that he knew.
I always want to think of him like my mentor, since he is an intelligent man who knows a lot about science, arts, and languages. Most of our conversations were about things like that. I didn't want to talk to him too much about his or my personal life, except on a few occasions. Overall, I enjoyed his company, but I wasn't really comfortable when he often offered to hold my hand when we walked or gave me kisses on my cheeks when we said goodbye (I already gave him friendly hugs). I tried not to think too much about it since he had actually lived in Europe a couple years when he was younger, so maybe it became his habit. He sometimes joked that I would be his trophy girlfriend, and I always told myself that it was just a joke.
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me recently, so I was sad and shed tears when I talked about it. I needed people to listen, analyze, and give me their opinions about my break-up, and since I'd already bored my family and close friends about it, I decided to talk to him, just to hear another male perspective. I went over to his house around 8 - 8:30 p.m. after my shift from work. That was the first time I went to his house. He made me some tea, turned on some classical music, gave me a tour around the house. I saw some nude pictures of women on the walls, but I tried to brush if off. Finally, we sat down and talked about my problem. I didn't understand why he dimmed the lights, but then again, I tried to brush if off and focused on my story. By the time we talked about it, I was pretty much over the break-up and realized that it was not a big deal anymore. I wasn't acting angry, crying, or looking desperate at all. I just wanted to analyze things and get his opinion about my ex-boyfriend.
I talked about my relationship for a while. He asked me what type of man that I was looking for. I told him my preferences. He then asked me if I found him "sexy". I thought that was a joke, and didn't want to make him feel bad, so I said yes and kept on talking about my problem. After awhile, he asked me how the sex was. I was uncomfortable, just briefly told him that my ex was unable to give me an orgasm. I told him that I just wanted to know about my ex's feelings for me, since I knew that my ex was inexperienced and of course, must have not been that into me at the end of the relationship to actually try making it better. I tried to steer away from talking about sex for two or three times, but he kept on talking about how a man should "make love" to a woman. He went on and on for about 10 minutes, then suddenly, he talked about oral sex and told me that he had been able to give a woman multiple orgasms for 1.5 - 2 hours, and how the whole process only seemed like 5 minutes for him. He even went on to vaguely describe oral sex, but I won't type it here. The whole time, he repeatedly said that he didn't want to turn me on, just wanted to give me an idea how a man should be able to do that. I forgot to add that he'd usually mentioned to take me to Europe and show me around. He even said that again that night, while just a couple minutes earlier, he'd told me that my idea of going to NYC alone with one of my close guy friends would make that guy think that it was an invitation to something else.
Nothing bad happened that night, I went home safely. I just received two emails from him, but I haven't replied yet. The first one was to thank me about my long and open conversation, and how he hoped he gave me some useful information. The second one was like "food for thoughts" (the ones that you usually find in chained emails about friendship, relationship...). He told me to keep in touch in both emails.
I don't know what to think. It'd be sad if I cut all contacts with him and he is actually a good person. At the same time, I don't want to put myself in danger if he is not.
Thank you for reading and helping.
