Keeping in touch with friends

[CantAffordMAC]

I was just wondering...do you guys find it awkward to keep in touch with old friends? I think I have a problem with this. I moved out of state about 6 years ago, and I found it very weird when i tried to call my old friends. Then, I just graduated and I don't keep in touch with those people either. I've never been one to have a lot of friends, and I can really only think of like 3 or 4 friends that I have. So you'd think that I would try hard to keep in touch with them lol.

Like my one friend from school, she recently got a myspace and added me. So I'm excited cuz I hadn't seen her since graduation, and we talk a bit. She asks for my number so we can talk, but I told her I didn't have a phone (which is true, and I really hate talking on the phone anyways). So after that, I don't hear from her anymore. I've sent her a couple comments on myspace, but she hasn't sent any back. And the reason i find that weird is because she is on almost everyday, and she leaves comments to other people that we went to school with all the time. So I just kinda feel like...f*ck her. I know that sounds bad but I really don't know what else to think.

Then I met a girl at work almost 2 years ago and we hung out all the time. we even switched jobs together, so we still always saw eachother. Then she left and I didn't, so we kind of lost touch but not fully. she always sent me messages on myspace though, and I love her to death. we're going to hang out tomorrow, and I feel excited but then I don't want thing to be awkward, because we haven't seen eachother since like March.

My absolute best friend in the world, she has all kinds of issues, and she lives out of the way so its hard for me to go and see her (neither of us has a car, she has a baby, etc) and we used to live in the same apartment complex and see eachother everyday. so now I hardly ever see her, and she calls me when she can and tells me how much she misses me, but then she's always tellin me about how she goes out to clubs and parties with all these girls, and I don't want to hear about it. it used to just be me and her and she used to not really like other girls, just like how I am. and before, she was the one with the boyfriend and I was single, and now its the opposite. so I really don't want to go out to clubs and be with all these hoes, and thats what she does. i'm supposed to be her son's Godmother and everything...I guess I'm just being jealous or something, but I dunno.

sorry this is so long. does anyone else have problems like mine? Or any advice for me? Its weird and I know its dumb, but I dunno. I just work all the time, and everyone there is an older woman. When I'm not at work I'm with my boyfriend. I don't have a lot of friends, and now its like I don't see/talk to any of them.

 

[as_cute_as_pie]

i left school this year and everyones went on to university/college and to be completley honest i dont speak to about 98% of anyone from school anymore even though they still live here!
one of my friends (i would say best friends we had a foursome group with 2 other girls) we went out one night for a 'last school night out' sorta thing and she ditched me at 2 to go to her ex bfs house even though i was supposed to be sleeping at hers nd this was at 2 in the morning
i havnt spoke to her hardly since then not out of hate or anything it just hasnt happened
seen her a couple of times out and shes said hi etc but its like were strangers.

another friend of mine shes always busy with work/univeristy/the bf so we hardly speak now
she keeps adding me on myspace but this may sound silly to some lol but on her page shes linked to a few people i would never want to see ever ever again and can barely stand to look at their pics so thats the reason i dont add her i also dont want the other people to know that im there (if that makes sense it may sound very silly but some will understand im hoping lol)
she talks to me on msn but it always seems to be when im away doing something then when i come back shes gone lol


i think sometimes you get past a point and its hard to go back to like it was cos its never the same

i suppose its also hard if your'e/their not a very forward person like -do u wanna meet up?
then you just grow further apart!

 

[CantAffordMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by as_cute_as_pie i left school this year and everyones went on to university/college and to be completley honest i dont speak to about 98% of anyone from school anymore even though they still live here! one of my friends (i would say best friends we had a foursome group with 2 other girls) we went out one night for a 'last school night out' sorta thing and she ditched me at 2 to go to her ex bfs house even though i was supposed to be sleeping at hers nd this was at 2 in the morning i havnt spoke to her hardly since then not out of hate or anything it just hasnt happened seen her a couple of times out and shes said hi etc but its like were strangers. another friend of mine shes always busy with work/univeristy/the bf so we hardly speak now she keeps adding me on myspace but this may sound silly to some lol but on her page shes linked to a few people i would never want to see ever ever again and can barely stand to look at their pics so thats the reason i dont add her i also dont want the other people to know that im there (if that makes sense it may sound very silly but some will understand im hoping lol) she talks to me on msn but it always seems to be when im away doing something then when i come back shes gone lol i think sometimes you get past a point and its hard to go back to like it was cos its never the same i suppose its also hard if your'e/their not a very forward person like -do u wanna meet up? then you just grow further apart!

yeah I know what you mean. Everyone I know went on to college, and its not even like a big unviersity, its a community college thats like 20 minutes from my house. I was going to go, but I decided not to. Everytime I look at someone's myspace or whatever, they're always talking about college and classes...which personally I really could care less. if thats ALL you can talk about and you only want to associate with ppl who are in college then fine.

LoL I guess this topic really sucks because nobodys replying lol

 

[MiCHiE]

Well, friendship is a relationship like many that is a 2way street. It takes effort from both ends. I've reached out to friends via MySpace, IRL, etc...and gotten the same reactions. Although people sometimes grow apart, you definitely see that sometimes, for whatever reason, relationships become a street that some people don't want to cross, hang out on, whatever. I don't let it get me down. You can't do it alone, so don't beat yourself up for trying.

 

[xsnowwhite]

thats hard
ive moved alot and i have tried to contact some of my old best friends but they jsut ignore me.
I guess there isnt really anything you can do, it sucks though but thats what ive learned.

 

[Chic 2k6]

I always move on from friends. If you're not in contact with them, it's for a reason, you moved on. I still talk to some past friends but i'm not close to them any more, me and my best friends are just friends now, we dont see each other much but we try and keep contact. I recently found friends from my first school (kindergarten) and we were pleased to be in contact again after 11 years, one of my friends is a finalist in X Factor so I won't be speaking to her much now she's got a career to go forward on

 

[xbrookecorex]

As soon as we went to college all of my friends stopped talking.
And when we do talk its like awkward and there's nothing to say and we're all thinking 'wtf happened to how it used to be and why cant we get that back?'. Its a terrible feeling, so we then in turn avoid it, and drift farther.

Honestly I don't know WHAT happened, but I never talked to any of my friends past the first semester of college. The only friend I have from highschool now is my boyfriend.

It's taken me about 3 years to face this and get over it. Sucks cause I thought I had some good friends, but things are just DIFFERENT. I don't know.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

I don't really talk to anyone from high school I graduated several years ago, I Had a really large group of friends, and I see a few of them every so often.. and its WEIRD!

"hey! how are you? good.. and you?.. thats good.... (long pause.......) sooooo... I better get going! bye!

These were people I would see EVERY freaking day! even on weekends and we all did everything together for 4 years.... I don't care though, I have new friends, and my best friend from high school is still my best friend ever, and I keep in touch with her every day on myspace. but thats about it..

I have a problem with not answering my phone... most of the time I really just do not want to talk to people..

 

[as_cute_as_pie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by xbrookecorex As soon as we went to college all of my friends stopped talking. And when we do talk its like awkward and there's nothing to say and we're all thinking 'wtf happened to how it used to be and why cant we get that back?'. Its a terrible feeling, so we then in turn avoid it, and drift farther. Honestly I don't know WHAT happened, but I never talked to any of my friends past the first semester of college. The only friend I have from highschool now is my boyfriend. It's taken me about 3 years to face this and get over it. Sucks cause I thought I had some good friends, but things are just DIFFERENT. I don't know.

completely agree one of my foursome friends i never speak to now (this is the one that left me on my own to go to her bfs house) and cos we always used to go out to bars etc together i get a feeling that if i mentioned if she wanted to go out she'd think she was being used because i had no one else to go with or similar so i just dont lol

 

[CantAffordMAC]

I know what you guys mean. Like, I've seen you everyday for the past 3 years and now you want to act like you don't have anything to say to me because your in community college? Whatever. I told everything to these ppl, they knew a lot of my secrets, and I knew a lot of theirs. Its just weird. It kinda feels like a lot of ppl from my cosmetology class didn't even really like me, esp. when they tell you they're going to invite you to one of their events, and you never get invited (happen 2 times with the same person) and EVERYONE else in the class was invited. I thought I had at least one close friend from that class but I guess I was wrong, because like I said, she moved in with her boyfriend and they're both in college and are too good to talk to someone that they won't run into at college.

 

[MAC_Whore]

I am not very good at keeping in touch. I spent from about the age of 21-30 traveling and/or working abroad. It was just too difficult to keep up friendships, so I just developed lighter, short-term friendships.

Really, the gals that I get along with the best are the ones who can have a friendship with me that is like a friendship between two guys. You know how guys can go ages without talking to each other and then just call up and everything is all normal? They don't say, "Why haven't you called?" "Are you mad at me?" Yada yada. One of my friends who I talk to everyday, we get along well because we don't feel like we have to talk to each other everyday.

I also have a pretty sarcastic sense of humour. We can totally bust on each other and laugh about it and when we need to be girly and be all emotional about something, we can. Then of course we will tease each other about it later and call each other a pussy for crying.

 

[ms.marymac]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MAC_Whore I am not very good at keeping in touch. I spent from about the age of 21-30 traveling and/or working abroad. It was just too difficult to keep up friendships, so I just developed lighter, short-term friendships. Really, the gals that I get along with the best are the ones who can have a friendship with me that is like a friendship between two guys. You know how guys can go ages without talking to each other and then just call up and everything is all normal? They don't say, "Why haven't you called?" "Are you mad at me?" Yada yada. One of my friends who I talk to everyday, we get along well because we don't feel like we have to talk to each other everyday. I also have a pretty sarcastic sense of humour. We can totally bust on each other and laugh about it and when we need to be girly and be all emotional about something, we can. Then of course we will tease each other about it later and call each other a pussy for crying.

Those are the best friendships. I have a friend that I've known for 24 (gasp!) years and we are just like that.

You'll find as you get older, the quantity of friends you have might decrease, but the quality of your friendships will increase.