Moving in together and scared

[macface]

Finally Im moving out with my boyfriend because Im been harrressed by aunt everyday about stupid stuff and I can not take it anymore.I can not afford my own place at the moment.I really dont want to move out with him because hes derespecfull with me he ignores me when I feel sad and I need support since I had lots of problems with my mother in 2006.Insted he calls my mom a bitch I know my mom is not perfect but that doesnt give him the right to call her names.I know is stupid but if dont move in with him I will be completely homeless and hes always throwing that in my face.I dont know what to do sometimes I just snapped in a weird way I walk out and cry and walk in the street.This is not good for me I dont know what to do.

 

[giz2000]

I am so sorry you're going through this...but honestly, moving in (or continuing a relationship) with someone who's abusive like your boyfriend is not the answer. Is there ANYONE else who can take you in, even if it's temporarily? The fact that he throws your situation in your face is just a tiny sign of things to come...once you are moved in with him, he will get worse...I am really worried about you....please let us know how you're doing.

 

[Shimmer]

I agree that it's a really bad idea.
I wouldn't recommend it at all, and probably would say it'd be better to start saving some money and put up an ad looking for a roommate instead of staying with him.
Or contact a local church/mission and see what it/they can do for you.

 

[stephbunny]

i agree...
sorry girl to hear you're going through such a rough situation. =( I agree with the suggestions that have been mentioned so far. I hope you find a more favorable situation.

 

[mistella]

I agree with the others.. and him calling your mom a "bitch" is a huge red flag.. I'm so sorry you're going through this, i know it must be so hard. maybe you can live with a friend for a little bit. I hope you figure something out, huge *HUGS* to you

 

[Beauty Mark]

I would seriously try calling a shelter or mission or something to explain your situation.

I don't know your financial situation, but I would definitely try the Y. A lot of them rent rooms for really cheap rates.

 

[kaliraksha]

Alright Honey- why are you with this guy if he is disrespectful? I don't mean to be rude or bring up something that you may not want brought up... but I think that's a bigger issue.

However, as long as he wasn't physically abusive, sometimes you have to choose the lesser of two evils and just do what it takes to survive.

But, I don't think you should become "comfortable" with the kind of life you are thrown into and instead be proactive and plan to make the kind of life you want and deserve.

I'm so sorry you've gone through so much $h!^ recently, but the pay off will come soon. It will come in a form of strength that you will have that no one can take away from you. Keep us updated, sweetie!

 

[amoona]

Like everyone above me said, don't move in with him. Look online to see if anyone is looking for room mates. idk if ur a college student but most college campuses have housing listings too.

Are you currently working? I would def. say you should try to find roommates, that way you can still live in a nice safe neighbor but it wont be such a financial burden. If you don't know anyone personally then check online and in the newspaper.

It just doesn't seem like it would be a good situation if you moved in with your current boyfriend.

 

[Beauty Mark]

I would also look on Craig's List or other sites (be cautious, of course) that allow for work-exchange. Some people can be very generous and it's like a part-time job in exchange for a room and kitchen privileges. If you are looking for another job, you could work as a nanny. Some people I know do that to have free rent. They say it's fun, and I guess it can be if you like kids or work with good kids.

 

[MiCHiE]

I agree with everyone. Calling your mom names is disrespectful. You moving in with him gives him even more control. Not a good combo. I would hold off on that move if I were you.

 

[giz2000]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaliraksha However, as long as he wasn't physically abusive, sometimes you have to choose the lesser of two evils and just do what it takes to survive.

here's the kicker...he treats her like crap (verbally)...it won't be long before he crosses the line into physical abuse...he'll have her exactly where he wants her, since he knows her situation and is taking advantage of it to control her...not a good situation at all...