My "bah" mood.

JULIA

JULIA

Well-known member
Ugh. I'm experiencing the weirdest mood.

I'm feeling really down. Criticizing myself to no end and I've become the most pathetic shut-in. I'm thinking back to all the times I was made fun of in school, and it's really getting to me lately. I have too much time to think since I'm always home alone, and I keep re-living those moments of extreme pain, and it still hurts today just as much as it did when it happened. I'm really trying to make a lot of changes in my life. Finding which friends are healthy and which ones I need to get rid of. I'm working really hard to accept that I'm not perfect (which is hard for me) and that I am allowed to have flaws. It still just hurts because I keep asking myself, "Why would someone say that about me?" I just hate it, because I try to have everyone like me. I'm polite, nice, and EXTREMELY generous. I'm a people-pleaser and I don't understand how someone could hate me so much and say something so mean about me. I try to ignore it and tell myself that I'm worth what I have, but I don't see it. I've let their words get to me and it really sucks. THIS FEELING SUCKS. I try to make progress but I have that little voice in the back of my head screaming, "YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH." This really sucks. =[

PS: Did that even make sense? I'm feeling ill and shaking because I'm so stressed out. Bare with me.
 
Raerae

Raerae

Well-known member
Think about it. Even super depressed i hate myself people have something they like about themselves. Trust me, I'm one of em =P
 
Raerae

Raerae

Well-known member
Ok, so run with it. Maybe you could use your ability as a writer as an emotional outlet. Ever thought of writing a short story, or poem, or lyrics for the sake of writing, rather than that it's "required" for a class? Im assuming your young since you mentioned school in your post. Look at all the amazing creative people out there that so many people look up to and idolize (authors, poets, musicians). By that same tolken many of them were also very tuned in on an emotional level. Just make it a positive exercise, rather than writing about the bad thing that happen, write about the good things. You know they are a part of your life (positive things), there just harder to find sometimes when your feeling down.

Also,remeber caring about what other people think of you isn't something bad. Rather it's something to be proud of, because unlike a lot of people you'll meet in your life, you actually care. So that alone is something positive that I can see in you, and I dont know anything about you.

And also remember, for all the people saying negative things about you, there usually doing it because they are just as insecure about themselves if not more so, than you are. But they choose to try to hide their flaws by pointing out the flaws in others. Those people are defeneteley not losing sleep over this, in fact, they probably dont even remeber doing it (there defeneteley not thinking about it). So you need to do the same, in the great scheme of your life, you wont remember those moments. But you will remember the good ones.
 
JULIA

JULIA

Well-known member
That made me feel a lot better. Thanks, I really appreciate you saying that. Wow, thank you.
 
Raerae

Raerae

Well-known member
cheerleader.gif
 
Indigowaters

Indigowaters

Well-known member
Hello. Are we twin sisters? I'm sitting here thinking that very thing as I have no where to go and no one to go with.
 
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