My Best Friend's Ex is Trying To Worm His Way Back in Her Life

[shimmyshimmyya]

and I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm just so annoyed!!! I know, before you all say,"it's not my life" and "it's not really my business", it will be my business in the next few months and if my bestie and I live together again he will be in my life, he will be there.

Here's some background.

They met on Myspace when he sent the same exact message to my bestie and our other roommate. The roommate thought it was extremely weird, my bestie thought it was cute apparently. Now I'm everyone's is good with me until you screw up. He screwed up with me immediately. Now I've known my bestie for years and we're a lot alike. We call each other "slut" and "bitch" as terms of endearment for each other.
I guess my friend was describing me to him and somehow he felt that he could to me like my bestie talks to me. WRONG! In the three minutes I meet him, he said he could tell I was a "cocky bitch".

The only thing I said to him was hi and how was their date. It was a done deal from then on.

On top of that, he's just a lame & corny sonofabitch. They were together for three years and when she breaks up with him, she confesses that NONE of her friends and family liked him. I knew I wasn't crazy. Now he's being a persistent ass and he asked her to marry him and he's feel like he completely changed in the two months they've been apart. Uh right. My friend told him no, but I'm feeling like he's breaking her down. If they get back together. I'LL JUST DIE!!!

I mean come on, If your grandparents, best friends, friends, brother tell you they didn't like him and that ya'll didn't seem right for each other, wouldn't you think that maybe they were right??

 

[Shimmer]

It's not your business.
Nothing you say to validate it is going to make it your business. If y'all are living together, you still don't have to talk to him.
He's her choice, not yours.

 

[TISH1124]

Yeah....I see why you might not like him personally...But it's really not your business....She has a right to choose who she wants to spend her life with regardless of what anyone else thinks. We learn from our mistakes...Not from avoiding them. If she is making a mistake...she will learn from it when the time is right for her...Not for you or anyone else who does not think this is a good match for her.

 

[liv]

Speaking from experience, your friends are going to do what they want to do, and telling them otherwise or being passive aggressive about it is only going to make them angry with *you*, and they might relish having a relationship with this boy causing problems even more, because it obviously pisses you off.

The best thing to do is just wait it out and give your friend space to figure it out on her own.

 

[Beauty Mark]

You can tell your friend as nicely and rationally as possible why you don't like him, if you have valid reasons that you've tried working out. For instance, if he calls you a cocky bitch and you tell him that you don't want him talking to you like that and he still does, it's valid to say you don't feel like he respects you. Have you really given him a chance? I'm not saying you have to love him, of course, but maybe he is tolerable.

You might want to find out why they broke up and why she'd think marrying him is a good idea.

Besides that, I don't think telling her what you wrote here is going to do anything but destroy the friendship.

 

[blindpassion]

As much as you don't like it you have no say or control over the matter.
Thinking that you do or wishing that you do is going to cause an issue with you and your best friend.


The best thing you can do for her is be a supportive friend and be her shoulder to cry or laugh on if thats what she needs.
Try not to pass judgement on her choices.

 

[Dahlia_Rayn]

I feel that my best friend's boyfriend is totally wrong for her, and I've voiced my concerns, but that's it. They've been together forever, and I have been there for her through all the ups and downs, and I don't want her to ever ever feel that she can't come to me if there's a down, so I support her, and try my best to ignore him. As long as she's happy I have to be content with that, even though I still think he's completely wrong for her and that she could do so much better. I am polite to him, and always will be, because my girl means so much to me, if her being happy means she's with him, I can't begrudge her that, I can only hope that he'll grow up, or she'll move on if things don't change.